These are literal instructions.

Never drive a hard bargain with your landlord.

You need a little extra space. There's no reason to make this a "thing."

Also tonight at 11, Usain Bolt sues local podcast for unflattering comparisons.

Much like this show...

A live revelation.

Not gonna lie...RFN feels like The Muppet Movie sometimes.

Homonyms and mythonyms.

Jon and Horace both return this week.

Brother been hitting those those squats.

Guaranteed to promote so my thyroid health you'll grow extra thyroids!

"Waluigi containment is a top priority for this government."

We have a two hour origin story on Nurse Joy of Lavender Town waiting for you.

There's no cleaning this bad boy.

Horace Showpony says, "Nintendo Directs, now with more horse parts."

This is the best we can hope for from you-know-who.

Move over, Paul Marketing! It's Paul Jon-keting's time to shine.

The cake, not the fabric,

This week we have an exclusive interview with RFN's host.

Day 11: It's cold, I'm still stuck on this mountain, and a stupid plant person keeps asking me to find his friend.

Are we releasing a Wind Waker episode, right as Tears of the Kingdom comes out? No, we RECORDED it as it came out. We're releasing after.

Only in an isekai.

"This new Mario Kart DLC is getting spicy!" - James

This is the non-AI Jon Lindemann, by the way.

For the purposes of this question, any orifice is acceptable.

...but what if its just symbols to him now?

World is flooded. E3 is dead. Boats: Floating.

Stop saying "hardware."

The shocking part is our listeners didn't write it.

The line will stretch to the horizon.

Jon's back; can you tell?

Please stop auto-generating my show; you're making me obsolete. It's my job to make me obsolete.

In a land bereft of fun, one man will seek it out in the blistering nothingness.

It's no worse a pun than "find your roll."

DID YOU KNOW I LIKE TO DRINK TEA? I LOVE TEA. WHEN ARE YOU PLANNING TO GO TO SLEEP, BY THE WAY, NO REASON.

It is an important podcast.

We're reduced to wordplay.

He's back twenty minutes, and we're already reeling.

SUPER JACKPOT, BAY-BEE!

He never stood a chance.

We're going deep on Xenoblade Chronicles 3, FOR CHRISTMAS.

Announcing our intent to enshrine Turtle Power into our charter.

Not technically, at least in this game.

Your move James. Make a TSI for this abomination of a title!

I do know big sprites, and these? Big.

Everything has a name.

With a tantric plan...

We now know the identity of Lon.

"We have one of the most influential artists in the world. Can't have that!" - Sega

Please pre-chill your food.

Lon Jindemann wants to talk about Mario's ass.

Do worms "score?" Do they score twice?

Everything we do, we do it for you.

Use promo code "twintail" to get 20% off NordVPN.

Crafting pithy axioms.

Where was Goofy as Gondolin burned?

Turns out we do miss Jon when he's gone. Sort of.

He didn't earn the Chaotic nickname for nothing.

The only reason this episode isn't named "Jon Lindemann is a curious man" is that I do not like puns.

The true cost of the Smash clones is laid bare.

"From hell's heart I stab at thee."

Stop taking about War Gods!

Like all "truthers," they're wrong.

My Jersey Devil is going to Bug! your Punky Skunk.

It's not inflation; it's $9 bananas.

Here at RFN, we number our episodes how we want. That's the gig. Don't like the gig? Don't play the game.

Bayonetta is going in the flea dip.

Investing in sports only makes sense if you made your money running a... uh... no comment.

The sound you hear is called "The Last Cry of the Dead Enders."

Ordering knives off TV is a way of life.

Shaded in the fog of years, I still remember a cloying sweetness.

Party email in the house tonight. Everybody just have a bad time. And we gon' make you lose your mind. Everybody just have a bad time

Welcome to day 11 of the sub-a-thon. Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.

Just imagine this episode title is in a script font, on the back window of a station wagon.

Online sports books have gone too far.

Exploding birds, right on the front page.

Is she available?

Round.

If it feels right...

This episode goes out to all my forty year old British brothers and sisters. Tape drives for life.

Adding bulk from the grave.

Squeeze into your pre-pandemic sized tuxedo; it's time for the industry's most important awards show not sponsored by G FUEL.

Right into the drink.

Never have games been more limited.

What we saw was 2017 as a turn-based strategy game.

I am terrified of Pokémon, so I think I'll move to an island known for its wild Pokémon

【かわいいは見る人の目の中にあり。】

Nobody had to get hit by a bus... yet.

Itagaki was best known for his work on the Dead or Alive and Ninja Gaiden series, although his latest achievement was deceiving Nintendo to publish an absolute pile of garbage and to post a terrorist video to their socials.

Listening to Radio Free Nintendo MAY make you rich. Listen now to find out how!

A new meaning for "Happy Boxing Day."

Who's YOUR daddy and what does HE stew?

Stay tuned for episode 749.

He still doesn't have an evolution, because he isn't worth it.

Tokyo deep tissue.

I'm too sad to know the episode number.

Jon amiibo watch is officially on.

The counter reaches two.

I see you've selected WinBack.

I can't think of anything more DREAD-ful than that. Get it? GET IT?