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Messages - NWR_Lindy

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Never again shall a disembodied, but enthusiastic, voice try to introduce some rogue-lite platformer about the power of love or some garbage by inflecting every sentence like its a question.

James is back from his short career as a cast member, and resumes hosting duties for a jam-packed episode full of Nin... we spend ten minutes talking about hostage videos. I don't even know why I'm pretending.

At least for the first half, things are significantly less unhinged. New Business has Greg looking at Metroidvania maze game Animal Well. He also leads a discussion of the latest wave of Game Boy NSO titles: Mario Land is finally here, ruining our favorite joke, and also more Breakout is available. James has been over-exposed to Star Wars, and decided it was finally time to play Jedi: Survivor, a different type of Metroidvania. Jon and Gui are down the indie cat game hole, with Little Kitty, Big City. Lastly, Gui found the RPG he's been looking for in For a Vast Future.

After a break, its a single email: Sony now has two CEOs, why can't Nintendo? Why not three? Why not 32? Send your complaints here.


Consider this an announcement of the announcement.

James has the week off, so Jon takes over as host and infuses the proceedings with an unfamiliar level of discipline and professionalism. Greg and Gui are here as always, with our fourth chair occupied by Syrenne McNulty, who in turn brings her familiar lack of discipline and unprofessionalism. And we wouldn't have it any other way.

We start off discussing the announcement of the Switch 2...announcement, as well as the incoming Nintendo World Championships: NES Edition. New Business then sees Syrenne diving into Hades 2, Lorelei and the Laser Eyes, and a bevy of other hot takes. Gui discusses the Promenade demo, while Greg has spent some time with Extreme G. Lastly, Jon makes Syrenne squeal with glee by completing the base campaign of Final Fantasy XIV eleven years after the fact, still faster than he took to complete Chrono Trigger.

After the break it's reader mail about how Hollywood and video games have both slipped into boring AAA blockbuster mode. This of course leads us into a spicy discussion about Xbox, industry layoffs, and late stage capitalism. Revolution isn't just a codename for a console!

If you'd like to tell us how much better of a host Jon is, you can email us right here. Don't worry, James will never find out.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 873: Cobra is Rated R for Respectable
« on: May 05, 2024, 05:36:00 PM »

Take Cobra to your R Home.

Greg is back, and Guillaume has all the NFL Draft hot takes money can buy. Also we talk about a movie you might have never heard of: Cobra.

James does New Business on the Stories from Sol: The Gun-Dog trailer, because that's where things are going in his life. This is 30 minutes into the show and he's not even talking about something he played. What are we doing here? Well, what we're doing is having an existential crisis trying to follow along with Jon's impressions R-Type Final 3 Evolved, and its absolutely manic R Home to the R Museum and R Social Mixer.


James thought he'd have all the idiocy firepower detailing how Limited Run Games not only decided to reissue old 3DO games, they did it on CD-Rs that 2/3 of 3DO units wont be able to read. We've really gone through the looking glass.

After a medically necessary break, Greg has played through Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna ~ The Golden Country, bringing him almost entirely up-to-date on the Xenoblade lore. Last, Gui has dropped Dropsy, and Crackdown. He is now a bit put off by Eiyuden Chronicles: Hundred Heroes.

As always: email us. We're lonely.


You just make me feel so safe.

Greg is out this week for the 2024 World Association Kickball League Draft. James is both exhausted and sick, so his presence is theoretical at best. Jon is... Jon. So that leave Guillaume as the only person who can be defined as present and accounted for.

Topics covered this week are: pondering Ignatius Theophorus' destructive balls (00:00:00), Jon's old-new-old-new Business with Final Fantasy XIV and the Endwalker expansion (00:08:54). Guillaume is solving crimes in a world where crime does not exist as the titular Frog Detective (00:20:29). He's also on a quest to give the world a hug in Dropsy (00:26:16). Lastly, what's old is old again in Crackdown (00:39:17), a game I believe came out in 1782. James conclude New Business by colonizing exploring the horizons in Sagres (00:51:20).

After a break, a trio of Listener Mail are worked through as best as this wounded crew can. We start by becoming one with the Atari Jaguar controller (00:53:43). We then give into our special edition FOMO (01:03:02). Lastly we try to AI your Nintendo (01:19:00). Unable to just end the show, we instead indulge Syrenne's request for RFN's resident fashionistas to render a verdict on haute couture for Pokémon and children (01:26:38).

Greg will be back next week, so get your questions in now.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 871: My Hands and My Nose Are Clean
« on: April 21, 2024, 01:23:21 PM »

The elder doth protest too much, methinks.

This week we only talk about cocaine twice. I'm going to tag Horace Showpony accordingly. You use Benny Franks, he uses carrots. We are not the same.

Our primary focus this episode is on Wednesday's Indie World Showcase. We talk about a lot of games, but focus our attention on games with demos: Antonblast and Europa. Gui and James are both also playing games that were featured in the Japanese showcase: Sagres and The Exit 8. Every game shown is at least given a mention, but there are just too many cats, and not enough reverb to list them all here.

Traditional New Business follows the Indie World talk with impressions of Game Center CX Arino's Challenge 1 + 2 Replay from Greg, Super R-Type (from Jon), and the new Fallout tv series (from Guillaume).

And that's it! No Listener Mail this week. But next week? We'll be down Greg, so flood the inbox with your creative writing exercise.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 869: What Part of Dr. Mario?
« on: April 07, 2024, 05:21:00 PM »

It's just "a little bit," and I think that's a rude thing to say.

This week, you emailed us. We said some things. Some of them were good. Some of them were dumb. We suggested five sequels to Disaster: Day of Crisis. None of it makes much sense, despite being asked if Nintendo is Disney, if numbers belong in titles, and if Zelda's evolving art style is unique. You can add to the Shrove Tuesday bonfire with your own questions.

After a break, the BUSINES IS NEW. But not "New" in the Nintendo sense. This isn't New New Business, or New New Business. It doesn't really work without the logo denoting where the Nintendo new is, versus the standard new applied to the "Business" part of our normally-opening segment.

Let's agree that New NEW Business would be a spectacular segment, where we talk about games that don't exist.

But, these games do exist, and we played them!

James isn't so sure his game should exist. He's been playing the new demo of SaGa: Emerald Beyond. Specifically, the Switch demo, as SquareEnix made CONSOLE EXCLUSIVE DEMOS. It's the least nonsense thing about this demo.

Greg is taking in some handheld retro gaming on Switch. He has some more thoughts on F-Zero Maximum Velocity (for Game Boy Advance) and on the collection Retro Game Challenge 1 + 2 Replay (for Nintendo DS).

Jon has fallen down a soccer hole with many iterations of FIFA, including 23 - the last one before EA got sick of paying a bunch of Europeans who never did anything in their life beyond grift. Jon embraces the grift, and rejects FC 24.

Lastly, Guillaume is still playing Mortal Kombat, this time 11. He's also got a small dose of Dr. Mario. But who's side is he on?

Podcast Discussion / Episode 868: Disaster: Weeks of Crisis
« on: March 31, 2024, 04:52:34 PM »

28 Bearorists Later.

Due to the Easter holiday, this article will be... a RUNDOWN:

(00:07:58) New Business - Mario Golf (GBC) and other NSO games.
(00:12:16) F-Zero 99 and F-Zero Maximum Velocity.
(00:23:27) Titanfall 2.
(00:31:03) Unicorn Overlord.
(00:54:59) Heave Ho. Marvel's Spider-Man.
(01:20:47) Listener Mail - What does Nintendo have left to release between now and Switch 2?

Podcast Discussion / Episode 867: Microsoft's Big-Dick Blender
« on: March 24, 2024, 01:40:09 PM »

Xbox's foray into your kitchen continues with the MOST POWERFUL BLENDER EVER.

This week we dive into the inbox. FOUR EMAILS are answered, sort of: why doesn't Nintendo explicitly name second-party partners on their games, are the Nintendo Direct fields lying fallow for good or ill, and what is the future of Sony and AAA games writ large?

You can put your inbox contributions here.

Because we spent so much time on business business business business we didn't have a lot of time for New Business. That means we turn the keys over to G+G, and boy did that car get plowed directly into the catch-wall. Guillaume tries to talk about A Little to the Left, but instead reveals his failure to understand addiction. He then tries to throw J+J off the trail by pivoting to Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen, which he grabbed just before the Wii Shop Channel died, but only exposed more questionable economic choices. Greg has spent a little bit more time with Splatoon 3 Side Order DLC, largely focused on a Virtual Boy reference, but devotes the vast majority of the time to Wii U savior New Super Luigi U.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 866: Touch the Cenotaph
« on: March 17, 2024, 05:19:46 PM »

It's so big and rocky.

This week we got a bunch of games: Worlds of Final Fantasy Maxima,  Ufouria: The Saga 2, Mortal Kombat 1 and 11, Splatoon 3: Side Order, and Unicorn Overlord. I'll let you guess who talked about what.

After the break we managed a paltry two emails: Mario Kart Cross and Nintendo Games too "off model" to release in 2024.

You can take us "off model" by sending us an email.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 865: I Would Download a Car
« on: March 10, 2024, 02:18:00 PM »

Why the hell wouldn't I? Free car!

A lot of New Business to get through this week, so we're just going to do A RUNDOWN.

  • (00:02:18) Princess Peach: Showtime! - Greg, Guillaume, James
  • (00:20:28) Helldivers 2 - Jon
  • (00:44:19) Akira Toriyama's passing
  • (00:46:07) Balatro - James
  • (01:05:31) Unicorn Overlord demo - James
  • (01:25:51) Star Wars: Dark Forces - Guillaume
  • (01:31:08) Ufouria: The Saga 2 - Guillaume

Not a lot of Listener Mail, so please send it to the inbox. This week we look into why the team that was developing Switch emulator Yuzu folded under legal pressure from Nintendo so quickly.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 864: We're Getting Roody-Sued!
« on: March 03, 2024, 09:16:12 AM »

We're going to have to flee the country...all of them.

James is missing. We're concerned.

We're not actually concerned, because honestly...who cares?

Also, he's the one writing this article, so he was probably fine.

Also he shows up a few minutes after recording started, but I like to imagine that you are concerned.

And yes, that sentence contains first, second, and third person.

Technically, not true - I'm projecting my thoughts on "you" rather than writing from that perspective.

What were we talking about?

Right, New Business.

Greg kicks the show off with a look at the remake of Mario vs Donkey Kong. Then James returns and wants to turn RFN into Lethal Leap Year. Justice for The Assassination of Tex Ferguson['s arm] by the Coward Chad 2 Badd. Greg then resumes his, irrationally interrupted New Business with a look at Blast Corps, now on the Nintendo Switch Online service. James still hasn't got into Unicorn Overlord, because Trails to Azure literally refused to end. Instead he lead a conversation on the new Smash spirits that didn't happen and the Pokémon Presents that did. Jon dives into Cyberpunk 2077's DLC that "fixes" the game, and into the weirdness that is Kid Dracula on his very official copy. Lastly, Guillaume has impressions of two old games now on Switch: Arcade Archives: Mystic Warriors and Star Wars: Dark Forces.

Somehow we only answered a single email, yet again. This time, we explore what a world where "AAAA" games exist means for "BBBB" games. Also, we violate all of Mr. Johnson's recently-acquired IP.

You can send your C&D here.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 863: Jaws 5: This Time It's Professional
« on: February 25, 2024, 03:05:59 PM »

Oft predicted, never foreseen.

It's Partner Direct season, and the RFN crew is here to breakdown all the news from Nintendo's... I assume people with sources will say "delayed" Direct. We got a few Microsoft Games and not just old ones from Rare. We also got some updates on known titles, and a bunch of unexpected sea creatures.

You know what's in the Direct, and if you don't - take a listen. We cover it all.

After a break, we handle some New Business clean-up. James is done with the Trails from Zero/to Azure combo. Guillaume is ready to render final verdict on Actraiser: Renaissance and has returned to Yoshi's Island. Greg has some thoughts on Mother 3's return to circulation in Japan. He's also completed Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown, and begun Mario vs Donkey Kong. Lastly, Jon's investment in Ninja Five-O has gone up in smoke, thanks to Limited Run Games.

Send us your final verdicts on Actraiser: Renaissance here.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 862: Tasting the Clown Ketchup
« on: February 18, 2024, 02:04:05 PM »

This podcast tastes weird.

This week: Gui has Actraiser Renaissance, a remake of Actraiser that he isn't sure if he's recommending or not. James quizzes you on the state of the eShop (answer: poor). Jon is exploring the Mario Land games on Game Boy via his Analogue Pocket. Greg got to try out the "hidden" stages of F-Zero 99 and has detailed impressions of Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown.

After the break, James delays the start of Listener Mail by accidentally starting a conversation on last week's Xbox news and last week's no Nintendo news. We then tackle two Listener Mail questions: incoherent and disjointed entries in entrenched series, and playing games while unwell.

You can make us unwell by sending your emails here.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 861: Planet of the Apes - Kountry of the Kongs
« on: February 11, 2024, 04:35:59 PM »

Look forward to the first AAAAA Game, coming fourth quarter, 2020s.

This week, I'm rushing to write the article, so buckle-up!

James starts the show by not talking about Legend of Heroes: Trails to Azure, or trying to at least. He then spends the majority of his time on Captain Toad, a port of a Wii U game that he has never played. Turns out its not a great game to marathon.

Greg has some early impressions of Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown, which is seemingly on sale already. He then gives thoughts on Yooka-Laylee, a 3D platformer from early in the Switch's life, featuring the work of a number of long-time Rare developers.

Gui and Jon opted to skip New Business, leaving time for LISTENER MAIL!

It goes here.

So with our extra time we managed a total of...two. Fix the Microsoft brand in Japan (Challenge impossible!) and make a licensed Nintendo game (note, from Nintendo not of Nintendo).

Podcast Discussion / Episode 860: My Nintendo Burner Phone
« on: February 04, 2024, 02:53:47 PM »

The new Nintendo Switch Online app is a little too wild.

Jon returns, and finally - we can predict.

But first, New Business!

Jon: Tekken 8
James: Saga of the Moon Priestess, Mario vs. Donkey Kong demo
Greg: Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown is already on sale, Smash Bros. Ultimate Spirits (again)
Gui:LEGO The Lord of Rings, Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity, Injustice 1 and 2

I kept New Business brief because after a break is a good long run of 2024 fanfiction, aka: predictions.


And keep feeding the inbox.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 857: A Mighty Craving for Microplastics
« on: January 14, 2024, 03:17:21 PM »


A totally uncurious Jon Lindemann returns this week.

New Business: James got this goddamned podcast on Google's goddamned YouTube Music service, even as it attempted to kill him in the process. He also started The Legend of Heroes: Trails from Zero, his first foray into the Legend of Heroes series. Lastly, he's been caught up in the undertow that is Atlus' marketing rollout for Unicorn Overlord, and this was before they detailed the entirely overly-elaborate card game.

Guillaume is learning the finer points of Tents & Trees and has some thoughts on Cocoon.

Jon and Greg don't have any New Business, so Jon talks about various Monster Hunter titles for a bit.

After a break, a few intrepid RFN Tax payers paid their Listener Mail tax. You must too. This week we delve into our backlogs and talk about depth vs "depth."


Their victory will be Rendered and Morphed.

It's time for our RetroActive for The 7th Guest!

This weird puzzle/adventure/full-motion video fever-dream of a game makes up the entirety of this episode. We talk about the context in which it released, the impact of it and other "multi-media games" that came out soon after, its weird plot with weirder acting, and the absolutely over-done puzzles.

This wasn't the most high-quality RetroActive game we've ever played, and certainly it wasn't the worst, but it filled the role of "interesting to talk about" nicely.

Thanks to everyone who participated.

Note: we recorded this episode over a week ago, recording 854 and 855 the same night. If, by chance, any weird news popped up between then and now, we didn't cover it. We were travelling this week, and pre-recorded to give you all content to listen to as you return from the holidays.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 854: Keep Super Mario RPG Weird
« on: December 23, 2023, 09:39:14 AM »

Sorry, your city isn't particularly strange.

IT'S [almost] CHRISTMAS!

That, of course, means much of the RFN Crew is off to visit family and friends. This is the first of TWO episodes we recorded in a single session, and we did it so you wouldn't miss out on a week of our aimless prattling.

You're welcome. We'll take casher's checks for Christmas gifts.

This episode is a lookback at 2023 with our TOP FIVE GAMES of 2023. Just a reminder, we don't name an "RFN Game of the Year," but instead produce individual Top 5s and we each have our own rules for what games are eligible. It's a very RFN way of doing things.

I'd post the list, but then you might not listen. So, if you're on a long trip or just need two hours to yourself, enjoy the holidays and the fact that our role as tastemakers are further cemented with each passing year.

Next week we'll be posting our RetroActive on The 7th Guest. It's already recorded (in fact, it's already edited) so... no need to post comments anymore. Thanks to all who participated.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 853: Frisky Gui's Time to Shine
« on: December 17, 2023, 04:21:05 PM »

His window: Twitch's brief venture into "artistic nudity."

This week:

James attempts to have New Business by plumbing the dark depths of the Arcade Archive and lands on Kangaroo. It sucks, and guess what - a lot of the stuff in AA is kind of a nightmare.

Jon is finally playing Ghost Trick, after literally being badgered for over a decade. He's also playing Super Mario RPG, which Greg has just now finished.

Guillaume continues through the Castlevania Advance Collection before moving on to his VTuber arc with the newest Game Trial: Suika Game. We also find some time to talk about the following collection of random letters and numbers: EGGCONSOLE XANADU PC-8801 PC-8801mkIISR.

Greg closes New Business with impressions of Jet Force Gemini, now on the Nintendo Switch Online Expansion Pack, and we use it as a launching-off point for various topics related to emulation of old games and Nintendo's strange "adult" Online app.

After a break of unscheduled length (sorry sorry) we only had time for a single piece of Listener Mail: What game had the worst update.

Here is my Christmas gift request for each of you: Fill up our inbox with questions. I want you to just bombard that poor bastard.

We're planning to record TWO episodes next week, to get us through the holidays. One of them is our RetroActive on The 7th Guest. Comments still go in the forums or the NWR Discord. The other episode is currently planned to be our Top 5. But, if we prove unready then it could turn into LISTENER MAIL HOLIDAY SACK.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 852: We Like Our Forum Beefs Medium Rare
« on: December 11, 2023, 07:11:55 PM »

Please send us more drama.

This week, Jon is an AI-enhanced Public Announcement speaker.

Also, Jon's back.

Due to some scheduling challenges, as is the season, we recorded an email-only episode. This week: what the hell is an "indie" game, making a Star Fox movie, and Namco's stranglehold on loading screen games. As always, flood our inbox.


Post your The 7th Guest feelings in the forums or in the NWR Discord.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 849: Difficulty Hot Dog
« on: November 19, 2023, 01:31:24 PM »

I'd love to tell you why I wrote that title down, but I don't remember.

So, a fine "Difficulty Hot Dog" to you too as well.

Another week, another episode where I have no idea what the title means.

This week, James has an ill-fated Donkey Kong Quiz and wraps-up Dave the Diver. Jon is back into Monster Hunter World, but he's also gotten into Metal Gear Solid: Master Collection Vol. 1. and he will one day finish Super Mario Bros. Wonder. He then takes us deep into nothing but sidetracks with Atari 50: The Anniversary Celebration. Guillaume is talking Dr. Mario games that may or may not exist and cracks out the Ultimate Unauthorized Nintendo Game Strategies. Greg's playing dubious GB game Castlevania Legends and the final wave of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe DLC.

Email this week: themes in video game music. Send 'em here.

It's time for our next RetroActive: The 7th Guest, from way back in 1993. Comments in the forums and discords.

(links will be here shortly)

Get the comments in in the next two weeks, we're going to record this one pretty quick. The game is short so this is very doable.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 848: Teach the Kangaroo Kontroversy
« on: November 12, 2023, 03:00:00 PM »

Kangaroos are just too complex to have happened naturally, therefore Australia must not exist.

Not a lot to say this week. We reviewed your submissions for our next RetroActive. As a reminder, we had two rules.

  1. It must be a retro game available on Switch
  2. It must be affordable (~$20 cap)

I eliminated over 10 just because you people couldn't follow TWO RULES. This was the most expansive submission criteria ever and we still had nearly a quarter of submissions get removed.

Regardless, this week we review the 27 surviving submissions and debate our way to our next RetroActive title. No hints in the article this week, but next week I'll have all the talkback threads and Discord chats ready to go.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 846: The Release Calendar
« on: October 29, 2023, 05:14:02 PM »

Oh hey, Mario is out.

James' audio had some issues this week.

It was Jon's fault.

Going to keep the article short this week, because you people asking about the feed - despite me calling it out in a well-crafted article - made me insane. It's fixed by the way, so be sure to enjoy last week's episode too!

But, this week Greg is out watching the Bills. The remaining crew talks about Super Mario Bros. Wonder, which James has already cleared and the others are just starting. So, really, James talks about Super Mario Bros. Wonder. With an echo. And tinny audio. And just a disaster of audio quality.

Email this week is a single question: what Nintendo games do "story" well?

Send us your echoed questions here.


I'm tired of all these keyboard perverts.

As I write this, I'm listening to Episode 845. I'm just over an hour in and Jon is trying to keep himself from spending $4000 on 8BitDo products. In this, I've encountered the phrase "keyboard S&M." As alternate titles go, this one might go over the still-uncharted John/Neal Line where I will definitely get an email.

This is New Business in Episode 845. It isn't the start; I've already heard Greg give some introductory thoughts on Super Mario Bros. Wonder - which had just come out hours earlier - and closing thoughts on the King's League Grand Prix of F-Zero 99. I, myself, then took the show through an eShop minecart ride and compared expectations and reality of "the newest Forza" with Jon Lindemann. Speaking of, before he doomed himself into spending an entire year's pay on Famicom-colored desktop accessories, Jon talked about getting spooky on his Steam Deck with Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night.

I've not got to hear Gui's New Business yet, because I have not reached it. I started the show on a bike ride. However, that ride wasn't long enough to hear the entire show; it's starting to get a bit chilly for such rides.

Normally, I'd look at the podcast listing in my podcast app of choice, but alas the NWR RSS Feed is broken again. It is a work in progress, but until it is corrected that means Episode 845 is a "Nintendo World Report dot com exclusive podcast."

I also recall us talking about action movies again. I assume we get here via Gui's New Business. I was not aware Time Cop had a sequel and I mix up the Carradine actors. I apologize to the Carradine family.

My notes indicate that Gui, who's New Business I reached as I typed this sentence, has completed Chained Echoes - which he ultimately likes a lot - and Asura's Wrath - which remains a scam over a decade later. My notes also indicate he played Astebreed, which is as anime as anime gets, assuming you can consume the plot, and leads us into a breakdown of the surprising contents of IREM Collection Volume 3.

I didn't know there was a Volume 1.

Despite the fact we didn't have any this week, please send us emails.

Podcast Discussion / Episode 844: Why Are We Talking About Horace?
« on: October 15, 2023, 11:57:12 AM »

Not that Horace. Or that one.

This week, Gui has Dogurai - it's "samurai" but a dog. He also returned to the one-man JRPG Chained Echoes.

Jon has the newest Forza Motorsport, which is the eighth Forza Motorsport. The sequel to Forza Motorsport 7, it's obvously called "Forza Motorsport." We also get distracted for nearly half an hour talking about 80s and 90s movies.

Good movies? Of course not.

Greg has impressions of the full version of Patrick's Parabox as well as an update on F-Zero 99.

After a break, we tackle an impossible-sounding three emails: Has Doug Bowser seen the bad Nintendo cartoons, what game design sins are inexcusable, and pining for Bravely Third or Bravely Default 3...or Bravely Second 2...I guess. You can ask us what else is on Dougie's playlist here.

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