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Messages - Crimm

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I actually thought 2 3 Switch inevitable.

I blame the cost of fuel.

It means when the vigilante kills you they'll have killed you while you were at the height of your humanity.

Boring, needs more pyrotechnics.

I'm the Qui-Gon Jinn of message board ethics.

The 2D world

Stevey isekai'd to paradise.

I believe everyone dies and the game is restarted.


Yes. The answer is yes.

My shift key is extremely tired; it is a totem of my rage, mechanical and metaphorical. It served as the receptacle for my frustration. The caps lock key is for people who pretend to be angry, the shift key is for patrons of poisoned passion.

What has created such venomed words, and such humored blood? A Pokémon trailer.

I’m hardly the first person to find myself ejected into an escape velocity fueled entirely by enmity from a Pokémon trailer, but I’m the first adult to get upset at a Pokémon trailer. As a pioneer of an unknown world, it is appropriate I document how we arrived at this inauspicious incident.

The Pokémon Company yesterday released a new “found footage” trailer to promote next year’s Pokémon Legends: Arceus, the “more open” Switch game set in a thin proxy for anime feudal-era Japan. It’s an unexplored era for Japanese media, being the setting for only 90% of printed content, 92% of animated content, and 55% of live action content produced by the country.

The game is set in the “Hisui Region,” which The Pokémon Company has helpfully informed us is “the name of the Sinnoh Region while it was being settled.” Sinnoh is, of course, the setting for Diamond and Pearl, which are getting a remake next month. We call this brand synergies, but I call it a brand travesty!

Why? Well, after four paragraphs of pointless exposition, I’ll explain. First and foremost, it is entirely unclear how one would produce a “found footage” trailer of the Hisui region. To be clear, they named the video “Rare footage of the Hisui Region discovered.” This puts us squarely in the feudal era, there should be no video recording devices. Our presenter does try to defang this criticism, calling the camera a “strange device.”

Let’s accept, but purely for the purpose of continuing this criticism, the unacceptable: somehow our feudal era explorer came into possession of a camera of some description. Given this is found footage, the most likely cause is a witch, but that’s immaterial.

A poorly-shot Snowrunt.

He is clearly already somewhat adroit at using this “strange device,” cleaning the lens, consistently keeping what he’s shooting in frame, despite the constant static and other artifacts obscuring his video. At a minimum he’s figured out what it’s for and how to use it. The question is why bother?

You don’t shoot video to watch it on the camera; even the most primitive home cameras were meant to be shown on a different device. To borrow a phrase that it’s unclear if our feudal era friend would follow: the juice is not worth the squeeze. By his own words, we know he’s trying to “document” this area. He intends to distribute his video into a society with no means to play it.

It’s possible he’s just an idiot, and completely ignorant of videography devices that are common in his era. His designation of a “strange device” could make him the subject of mockery in his own time, but given what The Pokémon Company has told us about Hisui this seems unlikely enough we can ignore this possibility.

This man is dealing with technology he should not have, and if you’ve failed until now to notice who wrote this article you’re probably just realizing that I’m going to continue to prove it.

When this footage was “found” what condition was it in? The Pokémon Company is awfully quiet on this. Given that Hisui is just the old name for Sinnoh, I would expect this kind of artifact to have been discovered some time ago, and yet it is found today, a mere month before the release of Shining Diamond and ...something Pearl and a few months before Pokémon Legends Arceus. Every found footage event has included documentation on the discovery and condition of the footage. The Blair Witch gives us both context of where but also when the footage was discovered, contextualizing both the loss and the discovery.

Was the “strange device” discovered alongside the footage? What if it were some dead-end video format that nothing could play in modern Sinnoh? We just don’t know, and that erodes the ability of the audience to accept what’s being presented.

But clearly, the video is highly degraded. Constant static and other effects break up the narrator’s voice, and video artifacts distort and sometimes completely obscure the view. I’ve seen these artifacts before… in Adobe After Effects. Let’s continue to accept the premise of the found footage as valid, did he also edit his video on the strange device? Is he an experienced video editor? What “strange device” did he use to do it? Does this proxy-camera allow in-device effects? Was he hunting for clout by creating a cryptid video, and knowing nothing was there decided to layer in effects to obscure the nothingness in mystery? Why doesn’t this video have a thumbnail with his face acting surprised, but not in a natural way - in the way no human has ever emoted ever. In history. Ever?

And, of course, what happened to our host? If this is indeed his found footage, right as he discovered this mysterious Pokémon: white fur, yellow eyes, and a red-tipped tail, did it kill him? Did he die? Why did he abandon his footage?

We hear him note that the "adorable" creature was turning this way, a struggle, the sounds of panic, and finally a collapse. The last sounds are the crushing of snow under the feet of an unseen assailant. A murderer.

Was his body discovered next to it, and the discoverer just desecrated his grave? You’re not allowed to do that, unless you go to school for four to twelve years and study grave desecration. The only acceptable answer is that the body was gone. Eaten.

This unknown Pokémon, white maned, yellow eyed, and with a flaming red tail, is a maneater.

A murder set only to sound.

So, we’re arrived at a conclusion. There are two options. The Pokémon Company’s preferred narrative is as follows: A man in the early settlement of Sinnoh, then known as Hisui, discovered a video recording device that was out-of-time - let’s say it was deposited by a time travelling high school girl, something Japan is apparently plagued by. Unsure how to use the device, he spent time practicing before climbing Mt. Coronet to document the “mysterious air.” He’s possibly an idiot, which might reopen our previous theory, because he’s baffled by Snowrunt being present in a cold environment - apparently unable to understand the pun in the name. He would be slapping his head later, if he hadn’t died. He then discovered the above unknown Pokémon, his filming ceased, and was discovered centuries later - presumably separate from his body.

I’ve seen a lot of thinly premised films, but our narrator’s declaration that the camera was a “strange device” gives the game away. This is clearly the voice of the writers’ room. I think we’ve been lied to. This isn’t found footage. This man died making a modern Pokémon commercial and The Pokémon Company goes and tries to recast their shame as found footage. And now? Now there's a killer loose in Sinnoh, and they cover it up.

You monsters.

Even when I was around, I actively did not post in the thread. I don't have to explain that to you, as we discussed it, but I realized people seemed to forget I was playing probably because I had missed a few in a row.

As the killer, especially after night one left me as the ONLY killer, this is a net positive. To note, I did not lie about why I wasn't around, but I did ensure I got night moves in. Making a night move in a day where I didn't even login was - I figured - as good a diversion as I could muster.

With the exception of that day, I was following the game at a distance and taking notes.

As for why I Detective'd Discord.RSS again, I didn't put the moves I inherited in my notes and forgot you told me what he was. Ultimately seeing he was generic townie was the best outcome I could hope for as I wrongly assumed the gem was still in townie hands. Also he was the person organizing the townie alliance, so deciding to kill him was driven by the fact I didn't want to have to provide evidence of my role.

Discord.RSS can confirm I took notes as I shared a few after day 2. I figured it was a good trade for me. All I wanted to know was how many people were in the Townie Alliance so I could decide if I should join and just start knifing or stay far away. I assumed it was already infiltrated. Turns out my suspicions were right. Again, my "lay very low" strategy seemed to be the right call.

It's actually still Men of Leisure. We have the chip-tune version we use for RetroActive (when we remember).

I'm actually planning Season 6 just because Season 5 is hilariously long in its length.

One other note, I was also offered a seat in the townie alliance, but felt like as soon as I came in I would have to provide proof. I instead stayed outside and tried to get information once I confirmed RSS wasn't mafia trying to honeypot me as the killer.

Crimm really flew under our radar, but fortunately only ever took out people from the townie faction.

This was due to me misunderstanding the rules. I had a pretty good read on Mop and had sent "alternate" kills on mafia because I was really ONLY looking for the crystal. I wrongly thought once the townie that had it dropped we'd know.

Therefore I assumed townies without roles were my targets. Very unlikely the killer survives as the last stand. I had known Pokepal's role since night 2 or 3 but figured "eh whatever." Losing the detective sucked but I had a lot of the info I needed...except the rules.

Sending a kill on a day I didn't even log into the message boards was a fun trick though.

...not the cause i posted in the thread though, that was legit.

Vote RABacle because I don't have any better theories

Podcast Discussion / Re: RetroActive 50: Little King's Story
« on: October 15, 2021, 02:42:53 PM »
Thanks everybody who participated!

Hey y'all. Sorry I was out the last couple days. I had let's just say an issue.

It's been a lot of fun.

So I'm playing catch-up. For now I'll Vote Stevey for my own safety

TalkBack / RFN LIVE SHOW: RetroActive for Little King's Story - LIVE NOW
« on: October 13, 2021, 10:49:00 AM »

We'll be talking a little Metroid Dread and Switch OLED before we get rolling on our RetroActive.

"We'll do it live!" RetroActive 50: Little King's Story is upon us and we'll be doing an RFN Live Show to commemorate it! Join us October 14 at 9 PM Eastern! This is a link for the radio feed, but it isn't live yet. However, we'll also be recording in the RFN Discord - hopefully. I'm going to try to get that to work but expect nonsense!

Not a member of the RFN Discord? What's wrong with you? Fix it!

Have you been playing along with RFN for the 50th RetroActive?

Great! We'll take some callers to give us their thoughts.Not? Well it's too late now. Come enjoy the show with everybody else!

We'll start the show with some impressions of Metroid Dread and our shiny new Switch OLED (models). We're going to try to timebox it to about 30 minutes, so the Little King's Story talk will probably start around 9:30.

See you there!

Don't worry if you can't make it; we will release the session as Episode 743.


He's finally here, everyone. And he brought his lawyer friends with him.

Sora is here, and he brought a million pages of contracts and policies with him!

This week we are joined by self-avowed Kingdom Hearts expert, Syrenne McNulty, to explain Sora to us. We never get to the bottom of his poor fashion sense, and nonsense story, but we do at least get to put his depiction in Smash in proper context. We devote the entire first section to this adventure, so hopefully you get to learn something you didn't already know. Which, will be tough, because as we all know everyone is actually Sora, including you.

After a break we dive into some New Business. Syrenne kicks it off with Lost Judgment, the sequel, to the spin-off, to the Yakuza franchise. This time, the world's worst undercover detective is hanging out with children. What could go wrong? DLC and the massive amounts of content locked up as DLC could go wrong. Guillaume has caught Metroid Fever, which is fatal, but until the time comes he's playing Super Metroid and Metroid Fusion. All the hype around the impending release of Metroid Dread got to him, and so instead of patience he plays more Metroid. Speaking of Metroid Dread, Syrenne jumps back in to talk about the first couple hours of the game. While not technically out here when we recorded, she purchased it from the Japanese eShop and had already spent a few hours with the game. Greg is also playing exploration platformers with Castlevania Advance Collection. We knew another Castlevania collection was coming, and they sure did pick a time for it.

One final time, this is our call for comments on Little King's Story. We are recording the RetroActive on October 14, 2021 starting at 9:00 PM Eastern US time. Why the specific time? Because we'll be recording it live with your calls! Join us! Details will be posted in an article on the site soon.

I'm officially dropping my No Vote.

Reviewing what happened yesterday and what's happened so far today, I got nothing. If I decide someone has made a good point I can be persuaded to change it.

NWR Mafia Games / Re: Mafia LXXXVI: Sign-up Thread
« on: October 04, 2021, 05:13:00 PM »
I am a ghost let me in



Simple 2000 lives!

Announcing prequels for crowdfunding projects before the core game is out? Always works well.

Podcast Discussion / Re: Episode 739: Catching Feels for 5-Volt
« on: September 25, 2021, 03:54:28 PM »
I already had a Wii Remote Plus though :(

Podcast Discussion / Episode 739: Catching Feels for 5-Volt
« on: September 19, 2021, 01:03:00 PM »

That art is going to make someone feel something.

Jon continues to not be here, so Greg and James kick-off the show talking WarioWare: Get It Together!. There's a lot to talk about with this character-focused reimagining of the series' core gameplay, and it has proven divisive in reviews. They give society's biggest question the deep examination it demands. Guillaume's vacation had him in a tent with a floor, USB charging, and dishes. He insists on calling it "glamping" and this is beyond the pale. Instead of continuing down this disgusting path, he shifts to talking about Donkey Kong (1994) and the various products Nintendo released to play handheld games on your TV.

Email this week tackles a single question: Nintendo's re-releases of Mario Kart 8 on the Switch, is it greed? You can send us the prototype of your email via the inbox.

RetroActive 50: Little King's Story's will be in mid-October. Post comments here.

TalkBack / Re: Prinny Presents NIS Classics: Volume 1 (Switch) Review
« on: September 01, 2021, 02:12:00 AM »
Soul Eater's rooms are likely derived from the Ogre Battle units. They work in a similar way, except Nippon Ichi'd up with a hundred subsystems layered on top.

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