As some of you know, New York Comic Con just took place this weekend. Being the fanboy I am, I’ve made it a point to go for the past four years, this year not being the exception. I was lucky enough to get in on Thursday this year, and I knew what had to do; had to get my hands on The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. 

As I arrived, I made my way through the crowds and throngs of people who smelled like 2 week old laundry, and eventually arrived to the glorious banner that served as my beacon, a beacon of hope, if you will. It hung from the ceiling in a magnificent fashion as if to say, “Come to me, Josh. I’ve been waiting.” Pushing past Hatsune Miku and The Green Man cosplayers, I kept my head up and took powerful steps, feeling almost pulled in to the biggest screen there. 

When I finally made it to the big screen, there was a couple finishing up their run of the  level. The man could not, for the life of him, learn how to kill a spider. His girlfriend was ever cheerful and encouraged him every step of the way. “Pfftmamateur,” I thought, “I will show him and all these peasants what a true Zelda fan can do.” Eventually his time ran out--- Oh, sorry. I forgot to mention that each player had a window of 10 minutes to clear their stage. The couple’s time ran out, and they walked away slightly pissed off at their inability to finish the stage. Then it was my turn.

“Do you want a walkthrough of the controls?”, the man running the demo said. “I’ll be fine,” I replied. I tightened the wrist strap, chose “Boss Battle” and was anticipating a cake walk. How wrong I was. After a fairly impressive cut scene the battle begun. I was swinging my Wiimote like I thought Link would swing his sword. Silly, I know, but effective. I landed a few hits on the boss easily and was laughing to myself, “Pathetic worm! You have crossed the great Josh Max, PREPARE YOURSELF!” A line had started forming behind me with little whispers flying around. I ignored it as I watched my opponent draw his sword. “Bring it on.”

Not more than two minutes after this, I was getting my ass kicked. Both of my shields had been broken, and I had no idea how many hits the boss had taken. I knew his moves, I knew his range, and yet I was getting kicked around like a sick puppy. One of the men behind me asked “Hey dude, you need some help?” Without missing a beat, I said, “I got this.” I had drunken 7 of the 8 health potions I was given. I had only one faerie on me. The crowd was growing restless, anticipating my imminent death. With all of one minute left of my demo I started going berserk, attacking with everything I had. 

Then I saw it, the opening I was waiting for. I started swinging my Wiimote around like a madman, screaming with the vigor of a viking as I slashed up the boss as fast as my arms would let me. Then it happened. He fell. I threw my arms up into the air, and the crowd of people behind me cheered. Many "Good jobs" and "Alright, dudes" were exchanged. I turned to my followers and clenched my fists as hard as I could. I had done it. I had won. The man running the demo looked at me and said, "Do you want to watch the ending cut scene?" I turned to him and said, "I have defeated him. I care not for his words." And with that I got my free T-shirt and left.