I had been quietly watching this thread, since I recently kicked out a housemate, we did it badly, other housemates were drunk and text messaged him from the safety of 200kms away while I was in the house with him and had to put up with his passive aggressive **** for the next month. But didn't really have any advice to offer. Since reading your mega update uh, I guess mine went pretty smoothly.
I was thinking I should just let RABicle stop by and do the kicking out for me since he needs places to stay. 
Oh god. You were going to set this guy on me? Holy ****.
Since he has no insurance and cannot afford to get stitches, I take him to the nearest gas station where he procures some bandages and ghetto-rigs his wound. We return home, and he collects a few things to last him for a couple days, and departs.
I hope you got him butterfly strips / steri strips whatever they're called. Holy ****.
Also in a semi related note I was playing strikers today and my housemate stole my chips that I was eating and as I was playing oniine and couldn't pause I did the simple thing and kicked him in teh nuts and he flipped out and punched me several times until he realised I wasn't resisting at all cos cos Mario Strikers and then I got my chips back. I'll apologise in the morning for kicking him in the nuts.