Topic: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.

[BlackNMild2k1]

OMG! JAWS LIVES!!!

Back to the shark story, how is that shark still thrashing about when it's missing everything but a small section of tissue holding it's front to it's back.

[NinGurl69 *huggles]

He's a CONTENDER!

[BlackNMild2k1]

*WARNING* Halloween Candy may not be safe *WARNING*

Be careful out there this year as you go door to door, party to party, bar to bar or store to store to get your candy. It seems that all of it has potentially been tainted.

"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."

"Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."

So make sure your last stop for the night is at the local "Holy Water"ing Hole and that all the candy you possess is blessed so that your candy doesn't possess you.




*CBN = Christian Broadcasting Network

[Stratos]

That shark should go in the Funhouse Zoo. He's a tough one.

I want to hear how large they think the attacking shark was if it was able to chomp into that other one like that.

Did you read the comments on that shark article?

Swan Girl of Sydney  Posted at 4:35 PM October 27, 2009

    If this was real where is the blood? Dodgy photoshop job to hype up things for the shark net brigade

Not sure if I buy that it was photoshoped, but I still wonder where the blood went. Already drained out of the creature? Then how was it still alive?

[BlackNMild2k1]

Creative Robbers with "Drawn To Life" Disguises, Just in Time for Halloween!

There was little to disguise what these two had been up to moments before police pulled them over.

Would-be burglars Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller's masterplan had one tiny flaw --their 'disguises' comprised of masks drawn on their faces with permanent marker pen.

American police stopped their car after a witness reported two men 'with painted faces' were trying to break into a flat in Carroll, Iowa.

 
^mouse over

The caller added that the pair were wearing dark, hooded tops and had driven off in a big white car.

Police soon spotted a 1994 Buick Roadmaster matching the description and stopped it at gunpoint.

Inside they found the two men, both of whom had what appeared to be masks, beards or moustaches scrawled on to their faces.

McNelly, 23, and Miller, 20, were both charged with attempted second-degree burglary and released on bail.

McNelly was also charged with drunk driving.

The pair are due in court next month. Hopefully the disguises will have washed off by then.

[ThePerm]

Perm fails at GPS.

you fail..i click on the links and it loads right up for me..givei t about 10 seconds

the third one is unrelated..i just think its funny there has to be a dui school in valdosta ga

[BlackNMild2k1]

Why Drunk Dialing while Drunk Driving is a bad idea.

Clark County, Wisconsin - 911 dispatchers often get calls from people observing an impaired driver on the road. What makes the call Mary Strey made unique, is that she called 911 on herself.

"Somebody's really drunk driving down Granton Road," she told the 911 dispatcher.

The dispatcher asked if the Strey was behind the drunk driver, to which she replied "No, I am them."

The dispatcher asked, "Okay, so you're calling to report you're driving drunk?"

"Yes," Strey said.

The dispatcher told Strey to pull her vehicle over, and she complied. She waited for a deputy to arrive with her hazard lights flashing. According to the police report, Strey failed field sobriety tests, and a preliminary breath test showed she had a blood alcohol content of .19, more than twice the legal limit to drive.

She was given a citation for operating a vehicle with a prohibited alcohol content of .10 or more. She's due in court in December, facing charges of first offense operating under the influence.

[Stratos]

Maybe they will go easy on her for turning herself in? 

[BlackNMild2k1]

No they should hit her extra hard for being stupid.
I hope they also fine her for not using a hands free device when making the call while she was driving.

[Stratos]

I hope they also fine her for not using a hands free device when making the call while she was driving.

LOL, I would have totally cited her for not using a hands-free device if I were the cop that ticketed her.

[BlackNMild2k1]

salt in the self inflicted wound.
I think it was necessary this time.

[vudu]

This woman is a hero.  That drunk-driver could have caused a serious accident if she hadn't reported her.

[EasyCure]

This woman is a hero.  That drunk-driver could have caused a serious accident if she hadn't reported her.

this whole moderator-goodie-two-shoes act is getting old.

[vudu]

I'd call you a douche if personal insults weren't against the rules.

[BlackNMild2k1]

I'd call you a douche if personal insults weren't against the rules.

is that some sort of loop-hole?
can we get away with that?

"I'd call you a whiny crying little lying bitch ass stupid idiotic momma's boy if I thought I could get away with it."

gonna have to try that one day.

[Stogi]

"With all due respect, I didn't know you had experimental surgery to have your balls removed."

[EasyCure]

I'd call you a douche if personal insults weren't against the rules.

is that some sort of loop-hole?
can we get away with that?

"I'd call you a whiny crying little lying bitch ass stupid idiotic momma's boy if I thought I could get away with it."

gonna have to try that one day.

Lol.

I'll give vudu permission to call me a dousche if i can continue to call him a dick (though i can't take credit for "vudu's a dick" comments).

In on way is this women a hero for turning herself in, she's an IDIOT for:

a. Driving drunk
b. using the phone while driving (drunk)
c. turning herself in.

don't get me wrong, it was awesome that she had enough control to realize she was impaired and pull over but turning herself in and facing the consequences? Sorry that's moronic.

Any day that I drive without so much as reaching for my phone makes me a hero? Guess I'm a hero every god damn day.

[BlackNMild2k1]

Court Orders Boy To Surrender His Wii

Forget 'scared straight' -- if you want to keep troubled youth on the right track, you've got to hit 'em where it hurts.

Right in the Wii.

According to The Winnipeg Sun, that's the thinking of judge Marvin Garfinkle, who opted to grant a troublesome 12-year-old boy bail on condition that he surrenders his beloved Nintendo Wii to the court.

"He is pledging as a security, akin to a cash deposit, his Nintendo Wii," Garfinkle told the paper. "And if he doesn't comply, he loses it."

By "comply," the judge means "keeping the peace, appearing for court dates, living with his grandmother and participating in a bail management program." Failure to uphold any of those duties will result in forfeiture of the console.

The odd punishment represents the last ditch effort to curb the boy's bad behavior, which includes smashing windows at his elementary school, punching a classmate in the face, disobeying a court order to stay away from school, hitting another boy with a pool cue and attacking a teacher after a game of dodgeball.

Despite the rough resume, the boy's lawyer thinks he's simply misunderstood.

"I know it doesn't look good," Serena Puranen told The Sun. "I've never seen him enraged, I've never seen him upset. He's a 12-year-old who is generally quite scared."

[BeautifulShy]

Any word on how the people are doing?I'm curious about that boy with the pool cue that was attacked with the cue.

[BlackNMild2k1]

I would assume that they are ok since his punishment was only to give up his Wii.

[ThePerm]

yeah good move, now that the kid is banned with school he has nothing to do. They need to stop feeding him whatever it is thats making him hyper. Just make him watch Bill Nye all the time and anything else thats on PBS, make him listen to nothing but  the Beatles(not helter skelter) and he should calm down.

[EasyCure]

make him listen to nothing but  the Beatles(not helter skelter) and he should calm down.

"here comes the sun.. SMASHY SMASHY... and it's alright.."

[BlackNMild2k1]

The Cake is a LIE!!!

A bride and groom were shocked to discover that their wedding cake was actually fake.

The Daily Mail reports that Aimee and Tony West were cutting into their three-tier sponge cake when they realized they were cutting into polystyrene, a foam material. See a photo of the couple with the cake .

"It was a terrible shock -- in front of our family and friends," Aimee said. "It was a lovely occasion and the ceremony was going to be the icing on the cake -- only there was no cake."

The cake maker, Creative Cakes, said the incident occurred as a result of a mix-up. Karen Williams who runs Creative Cakes told the Guardian that Aimee didn't confirm her order a week before the wedding like she was supposed to.

"By the time Aimee contacted me, it was too late to make a proper cake," Williams said. "I explained I would be delivering an artificial cake -- they are quite common at weddings these days. I offered them a refund so there was no reason to take me to small claims court."

But the Wests did take Creative Cakes to court and were awarded 310 British pounds ($514) in compensation.

Having a fake cake at weddings isn't uncommon. One company called CakeRental.com makes display cakes of foam with one section that's edible, so couples can still cut into it and "feed each other." Guests at the wedding are then served sheet cake that's cut in the kitchen.

[ThePerm]

audio version of the drunk lady who turned herself in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3Wj943tNlA&feature=popular

[BeautifulShy]

So as my 1,000 post in the funhouse I have this story to share.

Yes this actually happened but since this is the funhouse I don't want to get too serious.

So post whatever you think might be funny about this story or maybe some pics.