Author Topic: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.  (Read 10368 times)

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Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« on: July 30, 2009, 08:25:00 PM »
We've all run across the oblivious "idiot" during our days of interacting with the general public, so I though why not start a thread on it so that we can vent our frustration with the Idiocracy of our society.

I'll start it off with this list that was sent to me.

IDIOT SIGHTING: 
We had to have the garage door repaired.  The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.  I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.  He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower."  I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.  He said, "NO, it's not.  Four is larger than two."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
 
 
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and  I gave the clerk a $5 bill.  Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.  She said, "You gave me too much money."  I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back."  She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.  I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing."  The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
 
 
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area.  We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!   I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

 
 
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'  He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
 
 
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"  To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"  He smiled knowingly and nodded,  "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
 
 
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.  I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.  She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.  I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.  Appalled, she responded, "What are blind people doing driving?!"  She is a probation officer in Wichita, KS
 
 
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We were having a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker, as she was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.'  Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun.  We should do this more often."  Not another word was spoken.  We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.  This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
 
 
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.  A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.
 
 
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.  As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"  His reply, "I know. I already got that side. This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS.
 
 
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When I left  Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii.  I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?"  I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the Hawaii-San Francisco Bridge."  He nodded his head and said "Cool!"
« Last Edit: August 11, 2009, 02:32:05 PM by BlackNMild2k1 »

Offline Stogi

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2009, 08:31:03 PM »
This thread is great but ugh...I've heard way too many stupid things to care enough to acknowledge one by writing it down here.

But remember that thread about my friend who threw himself out of the car? That counts doesn't it?
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Offline NinGurl69 *huggles

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2009, 08:40:20 PM »
The PATHETIC state of HUMANITY
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Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2009, 08:45:29 PM »
This thread is great but ugh...I've heard way too many stupid things to care enough to acknowledge one by writing it down here.

But remember that thread about my friend who threw himself out of the car? That counts doesn't it?

I would say it does, as does my story about my friend throwing himself out the car.
But the thread is here if you feel the need to vent about some random stupidity that you just encountered.
We see it all the time, sometimes it really bothers you, other times you just let it go.
Sometimes it funny, other times its just really f'n annoying.

Offline nickmitch

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2009, 10:59:23 PM »
Who the hell asks for minimal lettuce??
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Offline that Baby guy

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2009, 11:04:59 PM »
That's what I was thinking.  Taco Bell has a hard enough time when you ask them to hold the lettuce :-/

Offline BranDonk Kong

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2009, 12:43:34 AM »
I think everyone has gotten this, or a similar e-mail, sent to them at some point. The stories are pretty much all made up.
I think it says on the box, 'No Hispanics' " - Jeff Green of EA

Offline NinGurl69 *huggles

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2009, 04:14:12 AM »
The true stuff is worse.
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Offline Caliban

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2009, 05:48:21 AM »
I, and my department coworkers get this a lot of times.

Customer: Do you have any fresh *insert produce item* in the back?
Me: Uh (thinks), no sir/ma'am (mostly ma'ams).
Customer: So you won't bring any out?
Me: We don't have anything yet. The shipment hasn't arrived. (sometimes we just didn't get a product even after receiving the shipment)
Customer: Can you check in the back?
Me: Sure. (I walk to the back room all the way to the cooler. I wait a minute. Then I walk back)
Me: Sorry ma'am/sir, we don't have any *insert produce item*.

This also happens a lot.

Customer: Hi. Do you have any *insert produce item*?
Me: I'm not sure. Let me check, ok?
Customer: Ok.
I go and check. I come back, and the customer is nowhere to be seen...
That's when I go after them, I walk aisle by aisle until I see them and surprise them. They actually are surprised that I would go as far as doing that because not many do that at all, and I only do it when I'm not too busy.

Offline EasyCure

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #9 on: July 31, 2009, 11:51:23 AM »
I, and my department coworkers get this a lot of times.

Customer: Do you have any fresh *insert produce item* in the back?
Me: Uh (thinks), no sir/ma'am (mostly ma'ams).
Customer: So you won't bring any out?
Me: We don't have anything yet. The shipment hasn't arrived. (sometimes we just didn't get a product even after receiving the shipment)
Customer: Can you check in the back?
Me: Sure. (I walk to the back room all the way to the cooler. I wait a minute. Then I walk back)
Me: Sorry ma'am/sir, we don't have any *insert produce item*.

This also happens a lot.

Customer: Hi. Do you have any *insert produce item*?
Me: I'm not sure. Let me check, ok?
Customer: Ok.
I go and check. I come back, and the customer is nowhere to be seen...
That's when I go after them, I walk aisle by aisle until I see them and surprise them. They actually are surprised that I would go as far as doing that because not many do that at all, and I only do it when I'm not too busy.

I had that when i worked retail.

Customer: Do you have this in a [size]/any more of these in the back?

Me as Manager and literally unloading shipment as we speak: No, I'm sorry its just whatever stock we have out on the salesfloor.

Customer: Can you go check in the back just in case?

Me: Sure no problem [Hangs out in the tiny stockroom/sends a text message/take a piss/sit for a minute or two/bang the ladder around/pick up then drop a heavy box/then walks out (usually with a bit of sweat on my brow so it looks like i searched extra hard)] Sorry ma'am, i looked everywhere *dissapointed look*

Customer: Aww, well thank you SO much for looking anyway... this size should be fine though

Me: *facepalm*

Sometimes my act was so convincing, they'd give me a tip! Now before you go thinking i'm an asshole, I only do that when i know for a fact whatever it is they're looking for we DONT have in the stockroom. The rest of the time, i really did go through the trouble because somehow I was the only person who couldn't tolerate that mess of a closet we called a stock room (probably cuz i took my lunches there and it was my place to relax) and so I tried to keep it as organized as possilbe so that it was easy for us to get any back-stock items out on the floor, thus clearing up space. The head manager i worked with was a dick and didn't care, he'd have everyone just throw **** in boxes and seal em up, write what was inside on the side and stack em up.. So whenever we needed something, it either couldn't be found or was just inaccessible, and as time went on it just got worse and worse till you couldn't fucking walk back there. It was disgusting.

/rant
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline NinGurl69 *huggles

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #10 on: July 31, 2009, 03:17:35 PM »
I nominate this thread for the Slap Chop Awards.
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Offline Plugabugz

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #11 on: July 31, 2009, 03:23:05 PM »
Working in recruitment. Great to talk to people. Not so for people who are applying for jobs but don't have a reason why.

ME: So why do you want to work for <company>?
Person: Err.... because i like the role and it seems to interest me and it pays well and errrr..
ME: So why do you want to work for <the company>? (I have to emphasise this now).
Person: Errr because they are a high street company and err. Yeah they are good.

Offline ThePerm

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #12 on: July 31, 2009, 03:47:11 PM »
I, and my department coworkers get this a lot of times.

Customer: Do you have any fresh *insert produce item* in the back?
Me: Uh (thinks), no sir/ma'am (mostly ma'ams).
Customer: So you won't bring any out?
Me: We don't have anything yet. The shipment hasn't arrived. (sometimes we just didn't get a product even after receiving the shipment)
Customer: Can you check in the back?
Me: Sure. (I walk to the back room all the way to the cooler. I wait a minute. Then I walk back)
Me: Sorry ma'am/sir, we don't have any *insert produce item*.

This also happens a lot.

Customer: Hi. Do you have any *insert produce item*?
Me: I'm not sure. Let me check, ok?
Customer: Ok.
I go and check. I come back, and the customer is nowhere to be seen...
That's when I go after them, I walk aisle by aisle until I see them and surprise them. They actually are surprised that I would go as far as doing that because not many do that at all, and I only do it when I'm not too busy.

the second customer is stealing ****, the first customer might be too


personal idiocy of myself

subway: you want white or wheat bread
me: yeah

actually i didn't hear what they said, i hate subway...Quiznos, I'm not the type of person to get all nitpicky on what goes on sandwiches.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2009, 03:51:00 PM by ThePerm »
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Offline EasyCure

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #13 on: July 31, 2009, 03:55:11 PM »
Working in recruitment. Great to talk to people. Not so for people who are applying for jobs but don't have a reason why.

ME: So why do you want to work for <company>?
Person: Err.... because i like the role and it seems to interest me and it pays well and errrr..
ME: So why do you want to work for <the company>? (I have to emphasise this now).
Person: Errr because they are a high street company and err. Yeah they are good.


I only had to do that once with a new-hire. I remembered how weird it was when i was interviewed, so i tried to make it a much more laid back experience for the kid, but i still had to ask that question and thats when they had the deer in headlights look on their face. Always hated that question, yet somehow i always do good answering it with some made up BS.

Oh and the perm is right about people stealing **** when they send you to the back. Thats a whooole other story though. We were pretty good about making sure someone stuck around the customer when they seemed to demand us to go in the back for whatever.
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline Plugabugz

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #14 on: July 31, 2009, 04:23:14 PM »
Working in recruitment. Great to talk to people. Not so for people who are applying for jobs but don't have a reason why.

ME: So why do you want to work for <company>?
Person: Err.... because i like the role and it seems to interest me and it pays well and errrr..
ME: So why do you want to work for <the company>? (I have to emphasise this now).
Person: Errr because they are a high street company and err. Yeah they are good.


I only had to do that once with a new-hire. I remembered how weird it was when i was interviewed, so i tried to make it a much more laid back experience for the kid, but i still had to ask that question and thats when they had the deer in headlights look on their face. Always hated that question, yet somehow i always do good answering it with some made up BS.

Oh and the perm is right about people stealing **** when they send you to the back. Thats a whooole other story though. We were pretty good about making sure someone stuck around the customer when they seemed to demand us to go in the back for whatever.

The thing is, where i worked we had to mark them on their communication and what they say. So they were rejected. and then they phone up and start bitching. Oh you're racist! You discriminate against teenagers! You don't want them to develop their careers!

Offline NinGurl69 *huggles

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #15 on: July 31, 2009, 04:24:06 PM »
ahahahahahaha

people
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Offline Caliban

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #16 on: July 31, 2009, 06:10:37 PM »
personal idiocy of myself

subway: you want white or wheat bread
me: yeah

actually i didn't hear what they said

That has happened to me once at Harvey's. She asked what I wanted on my burger, but she had a soft voice and I'm almost deaf to soft voices, so I said "might as well", and my buddies were laughing behind me.

Offline ThePerm

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #17 on: July 31, 2009, 06:57:29 PM »
personal idiocy of myself

subway: you want white or wheat bread
me: yeah

actually i didn't hear what they said

That has happened to me once at Harvey's. She asked what I wanted on my burger, but she had a soft voice and I'm almost deaf to soft voices, so I said "might as well", and my buddies were laughing behind me.

yeah this was way back in like 8th or 9th grade, i was with my buddies too. We had walked to the subway from his house, because it was before any of us could drive.
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Offline EasyCure

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #18 on: August 01, 2009, 04:29:40 PM »
Teenagers are their own race now?
 
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline BranDonk Kong

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #19 on: August 01, 2009, 11:31:31 PM »
This isn't the same thing, but when I happen to answer the phone and it's someone wanting to place a to-go order (I'm a restaurant manager - no, not Denny's, etc), I usually say "hang on just a minute", then put the phone down and make myself a drink or something for a little bit, then take the order. Either that or I find someone else and pretend like it's someone on the phone for them.
I think it says on the box, 'No Hispanics' " - Jeff Green of EA

Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #20 on: August 01, 2009, 11:40:14 PM »
This isn't the same thing, but when I happen to answer the phone and it's someone wanting to place a to-go order (I'm a restaurant manager - no, not Denny's, etc), I usually say "hang on just a minute", then put the phone down and make myself a drink or something for a little bit, then take the order. Either that or I find someone else and pretend like it's someone on the phone for them.
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Corporate Lessons

Corporate Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.


Offline Caliban

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #21 on: August 02, 2009, 08:29:17 PM »
Today someone asked me if we had frozen ice... lol.

Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2009, 09:07:21 PM »
You should have directed them to the water section and then tell them all you had was the unfrozen kind.

Offline Caliban

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #23 on: August 02, 2009, 10:19:01 PM »
haha yeah I suppose, but I'm not that kind of guy. I just thought it was humorous.

Offline ThePerm

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Re: Idiot Sightings: Beware... they walk among us.
« Reply #24 on: August 02, 2009, 10:55:02 PM »
were the foreign?
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