Topic: Mature MAFIA - Day 0: The World Ends With vudu

[UncleBob]

Reports are coming in that fellow townie vudu has been found shot to death in his home today.

More news as this story develops.

[UncleBob]

We're coming to you live from the North Ridge Asylum for the Insane where we're being told by inside sources that one of the inmates has escaped through in a laundry truck.  Due to HIPPA laws, the inside sources cannot divulge the private medical information of this individual, but they are claiming that this person killed a security guard and the truck driver and stole their teeth before making their way into town.  None of this is being officially confirmed by the director of the asylum or by local authorities, but one thing's for sure, I'm double locking my doors tonight.

[UncleBob]

...bal Warming is a fraud.  There has been a minor increase in the world-wide temperature over the last few years, but it's not "man-made" - similar dips and spikes have happened since humans started recording temperatures - there's no such thing as "Global Warming" and the warming of the planet sure to hell isn't going to bring forth a new Ice Age.

[UncleBob]

Our very own local drunkard is in the news again today - after running over the mayor's mailbox with his car... for the third time. Sheriff Darnyll was on the scene "I'm telling you, I ain't seen nutin' like it - the damn drunk was curled up in the back seat, claiming he didn't do it, raving on about how a giant squirrel was drinking and driving the car and he was the one who hit the mailbox... again."  The mayor has decided not to press charges, this time, so long as the driver starts to attend AA meetings.  Meanwhile, if you see a giant squirrel driving a vehicle, Sheriff Darnyll urges you to call 911 immediately. 

[Pale]

Man, this game will be more interesting than I expected.    I was totally ready for uncle bob to be like "A bomb blew up the city.  Everyone is dead."

I guess there is still time for that.

[UncleBob]

...these messages.
"Come on down to Crazy Jeb's Buttered Camel Emporium... Ain't no one alive who can beat Crazy Jeb's prices on Buttered Camels. Want to buy a Buttered Camel for a friend in France? You can buy 'em! Our Buttered Camel prices are to die for!"
"Crazy Jeb's Buttered Camel Emporium for all your Buttered Camel needs!"

[Crimm]

I hope day 1 ends with "EVERYBODY DIED!"

[UncleBob]

...ack on our values, our beliefs and eveything our country was founded upon! Take the story coming out of North Ridge this week - There is NO reason why a civilian company needs to have that much explosive material to begin with - let alone security so lax that it can be stolen overnight. The president is right to assume everyone is a terrorist unless proven otherwise, because these kinds of actions are nothing but terrorism against loyal, law abiding American people. The War on Terror won't be won in Afghanistan or Iraq people... The War on Terror must be fought here...

[UncleBob]

After announcing a video press conference eariler today, the Mayor of North Ridge was seen leaving town on Heli-Force One, his own private helicopter.  As the town sits on edge fearing the recent theft of large amounts of explosive materials from Wal*Mart Explosives Factory located right here in North Ridge, we're all left wondering, "Why abandon us now?"  Perhaps the mayor will answer this question tonight from his undisclosed location during his video press conference. Meanwhile, townies are fleeing the city by the thousands, in fear that this potential mad bomber might blow up the town any moment. Likewise, the City Leaders have left town, leaving only the forum moderator in charge of the town meet...

[UncleBob]

...more on the story we brought you eariler today, townie vudu was found dead, shot 27 times in the head. Oddly enough, vudu was actually dead before this, as it appears the killer actually drained all the blood from his body before shooting him, as there was minimal blood found at the scene of the crime. Details are still slim at this time, but we hope to bring more on this story as it develops.
We bring you now to Ollie Williams with the blackuweather forecast - Ollie

IT'S RAINING

Thank you Ollie.

[UncleBob]

After receiving some exceptionally creepy letters from someone calling herself "The Queen", the forum moderator announced a few minutes ago that he was taking command of the North Ridge Police Department and contacting the White House for assistance from the local Natioal Guard Training Facility to help get the town back under control.  He also announced a strict 6 PM cerfew for all remaining townsfolk.

The local National Guard Training facility announced that they are ready to help, as needed. You may recall, our local National Guard is where an unnamed recovering solider from the Iraqi war has been since having half of his body blown away by an IED. Modern medical miracles have allowed robotic parts to be grafted onto this man, turning him into a so-called "Super Solider" for the American Army. A hero to us all - perhaps the events today in North Ridge will allow us to see the first glances of this "Unstoppable" fighter of the American people...

[Pale]

I see now.  This mafia game is an elaborate ruse so that UB can inflate his post count!

[UncleBob]

...aughter has been kidnapped! Are you a bad enough dude to save her?  Bad Dudes: The Movie - see it in theaters this Friday with special midnight previews in select cities.

Pale: everything I do is an elaborate ruse to increase my post count. 

[Crimm]

Is UB playing?  Is this one of those mafia where the host can be killed?  He did kill vudu before it started, and this is MATURE mafia where "everybody dies."

Stop the spam. Vote UncleBob.

Edit: So I can't vote UncleBob?  Damn.

Okay, vote WindyMan. Time to take out the boss.

[UncleBob]

I am not a character in the game, nor can I be voted for or killed, nor can I be the winner. Also, the reports that I am responsible for the death of vudu are greatly incorrect.

[DAaaMan64]

Crimm doesnt knows rules

vote Plugabugz.

Changed as requested by blackfootsteps

[EasyCure]

when you said this was going to be a mature mafia i got the wrong impression.. i think your new title threw me off a bit..

[UncleBob]

We're live at police headquarters in downtown North Ridge where we're about to hear a statement regarding the killing of townie vudu early this morning.

*ahem* - Yes, we've just received this letter, written in blood.  DNA testing shows the blood is a likely match to that of Mr. vudu.  The letter describes the rantings of a mad-man who claims he's going to kill everyone in town and that he cannot be stopped.  Currently, we have no leads and no suspects in the case.  We urge anyone with any info to please call the special hotline we've set up at 618.384.6938 as soon as possible.  I will now answer a few questions...

Is this at all related to the escapee from the North Ridge Asylum earlier today?

As the escape happened after the murder, we don't believe so - I do repeat, we do not believe these incidents to be related, so it is quite possible we have two crazy killers on the loose.  Next question?

What is the NRPD doing about the explosive theft from the Wal*Mart Explosives Factory?

Due to the nature of that case, all details are being handled by a special unit of Homeland Security that's being set up in North Ridge.  That is all the details I have, please keep the questions related to this incident.  Next question?

What is being done about this?  You have no leads, the mayor is gone and, apparently, the Town Hall Forum Moderator has been left in charge - what plans are being put in place to actually, you know, catch this killer or the escaped asylum inmate?

We're doing everything we can - while the mayor is out of town, he is not out of contact - we've been meeting with him via teleconference during the day.  I can't speak of any plans, as we don't want to tip the killer off, but I believe the mayor will touch on a plan later this evening.  Next?

How can you be expected to solve this when you still haven't caught the individual who, just last week, raped, killed and stole the skin from that 18 year old waitress?

Again, we're doing the best we can, given the circumstances.  Next question?

How long until the MEGATON announcement by the mayor?

The mayor will make his announcement as soon as he has all the necessary details in place.  Please be patient. One last question...

Do you know where I can get a Nintendo Wii?

Umm.. that's totally unrelated to the topic at hand.  I wouldn't worry about it though, they should be pretty easy pretty soon, don't pre-order or anything.  Now, if you want a crappy ROB the Robot, there's one right down the street.

Why the hell would I want one of those?  They're so crappy.  They're even crappy in Smash Bros. Brawl.

Yeah, they're pretty crappy.  That's it for questions, again the number to call if you have any leads on the murder of Mr. vudu is 618.384.6938.

[blackfootsteps]

The Mafia are trying to spread suspicion.

[DAaaMan64]

LOL if thats the case I'll happily change my vote to whomever you dictate.

[blackfootsteps]

OK. Plugabugz has been quiet, too quiet.

Vote Plugabugz

[DAaaMan64]

okay, sure

[blackfootsteps]

Thanks Don DAaaman

[Dasmos]

So do I have to read Bob's posts or are they just nonsense?

[UncleBob]

They are nonsense... but I'd read them anyway.