After TVMan judiciously blew a hole in his own head for the entire town, everyone went to bed feeling pretty stupid. On the first night, they effectively killed the one man who could really help them. Many prayers went out that night. Many to a certain Captain Lavender, whom the town believed could raise the dead.
Ty felt particularly bad. He went to the local brothel and ordered an appletini. As he sipped the drink, another man sat next to him and placed his own drink order. After half a drink, Ty was already quite tipsy and feeling more than just a little amorous. Believing that the hulking mass next to him was actually Star Jones, Ty used his best lines to no avail. The man would not respond to his advances.
Suddenly, Ty started to cry. The guilt, the pressure, the alcohol broke down what little remained of his emotional wall.
"It's all my fault! I'm the reason TVMan is dead! He just looked so guilty!" Ty buried his face in some peanuts to help dry his tears.
The giant finally gazed at Ty's pathetic figure wallowing in the pre-salted legumes. "I need to thank you for that, buddy." He raised his fist and smashed it through Ty's skull, effectively ending his wallowing and beginning his convulsing.
The man wiped his bloodied fist on Ty's shirt. "Compliments of the Reggie gang."
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That morning, everyone was glued to the news of Ty's death. The kettle was whistling and the water was boiling. Who was next? Where would this all end?
One man had the courage to step up and take TVMan's place: Uncle Bob.
He held The Crucible high above his head. "We will vote again. This time, may the wisdom of Captain Lavender be on our side!"
The crowd retorted, "ALL HAIL CAPTAIN LAVENDER!"