Attack of the Blonde Jokes
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a
drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
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Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in the
world was Chinese.
***************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the
escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a
really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the
next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that
she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really
hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and
started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she
blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are
you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed
her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents
to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You
need to roll up the windows first."
****************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for
glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with
the left eye while covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye
doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a
hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked
her to read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down
her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional
about getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set
on wire frames."
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a
silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked
it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things
hot and some things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!"
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . . it keeps hot things hot and cold
things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".
***************
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of
golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it)
blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging
pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf
balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully
and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any
longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
******************
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie,
something nice for their first wedding anniversary So he
decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and
explained to her all of its features.
SUSIE as excited to receive the gift and simply adored her
new phone.
The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her
astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie,"
he said, "how do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice
is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand
though..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart!?"
Topic: B!tch, Don't Correct Me! - The Joke Thread (Read 232998 times)
