A Dirty Double Feature - Sick Jokes for the Sick Minded - You Have Been Warned
A man goes to a whorehouse but he only has $2... so they tell him "go to the last room upstairs, we have a dead hooker". So he goes upstairs and comes back down a while later and they asked him how it was. "It was fine... the only problem was that her nose kept running."
"Oh, she's probably full." - Gilbet Godfried
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A very broke, pitiful & desperate man with literally one dollar left to his name is horny beyond all belief. So horny he's likely to **** the first thing moving, if it would let him. The man is so desperate to get laid he goes to his local whorehouse and meets with the person in charge of all the whores.
"What can I get for a dollar?" asks the man.
"There's not really much that I can do for you for only a dollar," replies the woman in charge. "If you're really desperate, I can set you up with Mildred, but be aware that she is a dirty, disgusting woman."
The man, still horny beyond belief, accepts the offer and hands over his dollar. The woman takes him in the back of the whorehouse where he walks into a dark room and meets Mildred. Not only is she ugly, she has sores all over her skin, wrinkly skin hanging down all over her body, warts all over her face and is balding considerably. The man, still horny as a dog in heat, walks over to her and prepares for insertion.
"It's really scratchy and painful down there," the man says to Mildred.
"One second and I'll fix it," she replies.
The man gives her a couple of minutes and then tries reinserting himself. "Wow," he says, "this is much better. This is like the best sex of my life. How did you make it so much better?" he asks.
"I just picked off the scabs and let the pus start flowing."