Oh, I never once passed myself off as never complaining about a game.
So that wouldn't make me a hypocrite.
However, failing to pick up on biting sarcasm and retorting with a direct insult?
That's just plain golden.
Since we're on the subject, I hope Brawl is 20% faster than Melee. I hope there is no option to play without items. I hope wave dashing has been removed. I hope the only new characters are Pokemon. I hope online play is restricted to three stages, four characters (all of them Mario), and only 2 player 1v1 matches. I hope the game can somehow detect if any movies of it are being recorded, and it explodes upon this realization. I hope every stage is moving/scrolling, that Snake is a ripoff Captain Falcon, and that there's a tier for every character in the game, such that one character will always beat those under them, no matter how skilled anyone is. That way, when we find out Fox is the best character, everyone is just in a rush to get him. It thus follows that two Foxes in one match will simply end the game immediately, both crowned champions, and the game rewrites data on the disc itself to "game has been eternally beaten," forcing people to buy another copy of Brawl since they've already beaten that first copy they've bought. I hope no one bitches about the game, cuz the game will bitch about itself. Everyday you'll be able to boot up your Wii and it will have logged into a livejournal.ssbb.com, where it talks about how much no one likes it. I hope this, too, will cause it too explode in a fit of digital suicide. I hope the minigames revolved around how fast you can fully spin around a trophy, because when I say trophy, I imply singularity, as there only needs to be one trophy to get - Mr. Resetti in a bikini. I hope the Sandbag is a playable character with 3 moves - stand, jump, and fall over. I hope everyone gets equipped with a gun AND a morphing ability, and in some cases you can morph the gun as you are shooting it AND as you are morphing, which will cause earthquakes to break out in Pennsylvania and South Dakota, as well as various nations in South America. I hope there are no particle effects. I hope the FPS cycles between 15 and 22 for dramatic effect. I hope the game is capable of 14 man battles, but can only handle 4, even though it says explicitly on the label.
Yes. All of that would be awesome.