More like The Unfortunate Platformer Robot.
Cubit The Hardcore Platformer Robot has found itself in hot water as it tried to compete for a spot in the simplistic runner landscape. In a year where some of the best games of this genre have released, Cubit really struggles and falls behind in many regards. It tries to be an entertaining and joyful ride, but the end result is in reality quite depressing.
At first glance, you might think that it is an endless runner. This is not the case actually, as the stages are pretty much set in stone. You will always encounter the same obstacles, the same terrain and the same set pieces. Instead of smaller stages though, you are required to unlock these in succession by completing the stage before it and reach the new starting point without dying. If you do die, you are sent back to the last checkpoint and have to restart the trials again and again. It is incredibly frustrating and it does not make for an entertaining time. I have seriously lost count of how many times I lost a life, which at points, made me turn off my Nintendo 3DS in anger. This is when I was playing the Softcore mode, but at the discovery of Hardcore mode I zoned out. In this mode, you can only die a couple of times. If you don't make it, you will have to start all over again.
The game is also somewhat of a mess. The jumping is quite floaty and it requires quite some time to get the hang of, and even then the jumps don’t always register. You will press that button as hard as your heart races, but there are moments where Cubit simply doesn't do what you want it to do. The speed of the game makes most of the mistakes made not entirely your fault, making the game feel cheap and quite unfair at moments.
Cubit has been advertised as a rhythm platformer, but the music just mostly contains beats with some tunes here and there. There is no real way to master it as the music and gameplay are not in sync with one another. The game looks okay with, at least, some nice 3D effects to back it up. Cubit's world is somewhat static and just a few objects throughout the venture really move. This makes it somewhat maddening to look at when you are playing it for the 125th time.
Cubit The Hardcore Platformer Robot really tries, but it misses the mark in many regards. The gameplay is floaty, the presentation is okay at best and the overall structure is quite unforgiving. In a world of true nails as hard platformers, Cubit doesn't impress or make even the slightest impact. That is perhaps the biggest crime the game has committed.