Lol! Well, first, let me say wow to your new custom title. As for Yoshi's New Island, meh is about right.
I seem to be one of the few people that was pretty positive on Yoshi's Island DS based on what I recall of what other users posted about it back in the day when it came out. My biggest complaints against that game were that sometimes the levels went on way too long (but even the original SMW2 can have that feeling too) and it didn't have item cards like the original. With item cards, you could give yourself more stars which could be useful like if you are fighting a boss and drop Baby Mario for a moment. Don't have to replay the whole level over again to get a perfect score. YIDS required you to play it over again making it much tougher than the original in that regard. I felt the different baby abilities helped give it enough of a hook to make it feel like a pretty good mix of new and old even if it did feature a lot of what came before.
So, from that experience, even though I knew YNI had gotten pretty average and middling reviews / scores, I wasn't discouraged by that since YIDS sort of had the same reception. But in this case, the reviews and feelings matched mine as well and if people thought YIDS didn't do much to get out of SMW2's shadow then YNI may help change their minds with how much it rehashes the original game.
I mentioned before that I was playing SMW2 on the SNES online and then realized I could be playing New Island instead of the same old. The developers of New Island probably didn't expect anyone to be playing these games at the same time when making it but, since I was, it just showed me how much they copied the original. Yes, the levels are new but the same concepts are copied over and hit at the exact same time. Nep-Enuts show up at 3-2 in SMW2. They show up at 3-2 in New Island. ShyGuys on stilts show up at 1-6 in SMW2 and they show up at the same point in New Island. Wall Lakitus show in 2-7 in SMW2 and New Island does its spin on them at the same spot.
Now, not everything is copied over. For instance, with how things were going early on, I was expecting the Baseball Boys to show up early in World 2 but they never even make an appearance in the game. Nor will you touch fuzzy and get dizzy in New Island. The main addition this game makes are the giant eggs which pop up for a brief appearance here and there. However, due to how they work and what they can do, they're limited in their usage and s-egg-regated to a small portion of a level so their effect on the game is fleeting and hardly game-changing.
The story starts off where the original ends with Mario and Luigi being dropped off to their parents only for it to turn out the stork has gone to the wrong house. That felt like a bold beginning but it just leads to the stork being attacked again by Kamek and the exact premise plays out again as it did in the original of working to reunite Mario with Luigi and Kamek trying to get the baby. Despite it being a new island, it sure seems a lot like the old. Even the ending when confronting Bowser is pretty much the same. Baby Bowser wakes from a nap, stomps on Kamek and wants to ride on the donkey. They couldn't even develop a new confrontation there. Baby Bowser is still scribbling on the wall with his crayons as shown by the background. Even with something as minor as this, they couldn't come up with anything new? Just repeat it all again?
Adding gyro controls during the Yoshi transformations seemed like a desperate attempt to make them a bit of a different and pretend that they'll be more fun but it just makes them all seem very similar instead. And yet, (AND YET), I won't completely write off the game as near the end around the latter part of World 5 and into World 6, the game did seem to finally start justifying its existence with the levels being a bit more difficult and engaging. The bonus levels also showed that there could be more done still with the mechanics of a Yoshi platformer and some creativity from the developer. Although designed to be quite challenging, they were tough but not Galaxy 2 - Perfect Run or 3D World - Champion's Road tough. While this game also didn't have any kind of item cards or inventory which could help you complete the level with a perfect score like SMW2, it at least divided the needed inventory of flowers / red coins / and stars into their own sections. This means that if you collected all the coins and stars in a level but missed a flower then stars and coins were checked off as complete and all you had to do was replay the level and collect all the flowers on the second go around to complete that aspect and not all the red coins and stars as well. It's a bit of a compromise between the original and Yoshi's Island DS but it did allow me to speed through a bit on some of the level replays I had to do to get some item I missed or was short on the first time.
There's more I could breakdown about the game but I think this is enough typing and paints a pretty clear picture about the experience. I'll just close by saying that after playing the long and expansive Xenoblade Chronicles, I was looking for a smaller and simpler experience. Something I felt I could probably get through in about a week and this pretty much fit what I was looking for and in the mood for. It's probably why I started replaying Yoshi's Island on the Switch Online app in the first place. Just check in and chip away at a few levels to make some progress in short gaming bursts here and there. It filled that role well. If you don't mind redundant feeling platformers and want something that can be finished off pretty quickly then this might be the game for you. Also, I did like the backgrounds. I think they're painterly quality was a bit more pleasing than the crayon coloring book backgrounds of the original.