For the record, the only real bitterness I have at anyone is Billy Berghammer, due to his being less than understanding (more like NOT AT ALL) of my poor mental health and contributing to it greatly through all the pressure he put me under. I am a little salty at some of the NWR guys who were Director post-Berghammer, who kept me from coming back despite attempts to and even an invite to write stuff up at one point that never got used, but eh, who cares now? I really don't in the big scheme of things.
I honestly don't even *Hate* Billy & am even glad he is certainly living out his dream working for Nintendo of America these days. He undeniably put in the work to be where he is. It would take more energy for me to hate Billy than I want to put into it. I'd rather just not think of him and get on with my own **** to the best of my ability. I have another friend who was done wrong by someone in their past who wants to--given financial ability to hire lawyers--inflict a great deal of wrath on the person who fucked him over, even if it costs him a great deal. I don't even think of Billy that much, and am relieved I don't have that kinda consuming hatred or bitterness about that for Billy, or really anyone, except the guy who robbed me last summer masquerading as a friend and stole among other things, many games and my wife's Nintendo DS... And like I said in the interview, if it wasn't Billy bringing me on way back when, or me having developed panic attacks, I never woulda met my wife, and she is EVERYTHING to me. My best friend, my lover, my soul mate. Period. I think I even said in the interview, I kinda owe that fucker Berghammer.
The only real video gaming I am doing this point is SNES and MAME emulation really. I still have my Wii but it's the only system I have really 100% intact. I don't have much interest in spending much money in games despite some cool **** being out. Steam is great fun & I have a ton of games for it, just need to allocate some HD space (or get a new HD!). I really do want Mario Maker and a WiiU at some point, as all of my friends with WiiUs don't seem to have that game. But yeah, I'm a comic book & action figure junkie & often spend on those vices. Not to mention some of the other habits I talked about in the interview costing $ too, games aren't high on my list of things to buy. Though I really need to start saving up to get to Canada... Permanent Residency applications alone are $1500.
It's awesome to hear from some of you guys with anxiety issues who could relate to stuff they heard in the interview. That's one of the biggest reasons I did it and was so frank. Anxiety is worse than being in a living hell, or can be. But it can improve. Hell, I thought I had it beat, and I hopefully have it on the run. I'm seeing a new doctor tomorrow who will hopefully help me get back to work with some good anxiety medicine. HOPEFULLY. But it is definitely a struggle. My best advice is find something that helps and exploit the hell out of it. Music. Games. Comics. Anime. WHATEVER. Whatever can help you get thru another day, another round of anxiety. Life definitely IS worth living, though it is a bitch. Hell, I can barely perform my job as a dishwasher when Billy's off working for NOA. :p But I'm not bitter. It's just funny how life goes. I just wanna be able to get back with my wife and start a new life in Canada asap. But I definitely wanted to clarify I'm not really bitter at any of the NWR crew EXCEPT Burgermeister. And hell, best of luck to him. In fact, it's been cool reconnecting with a few folks from those days because of this interview and I've been getting to know some of the new guard at NWR too. Like one of you guys said, just gotta take it all one day at a time! Thanks for the additional comments!