okay, i'm not infernal, but i'll tell you how i think. i think it was great, extremely good, but it had a little too much description in the first paragraph. it would have been much better if it was actually in a book, becasue reading it on a web page does it no justice. the lines were to long (no, not the sentences, although some were lengthy) but the actual lines. it's early in the morning here and i'm still groggy, so and can't really think of the words to express how much i liked it, but keep up the great writing, and i only wish that i could write as well as you. if you post anymore of your works on the forum, i'll read them.
oh yeah, i didn't read all of july, but i liked what i read better than zelda. but with july, you should break it up in to chapters or something because it was a little overwhelming the way it was, again, becasue it's alot harder to read when it's on a webpage.