Author Topic: My friend is attending a death brunch. (Read 7752 times)

ShyGuy · « **on:** March 30, 2012, 11:31:58 PM »

This is morbid to the point of being bizarre.

My friend's boyfriend's uncle has been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. His reaction to this was to decide to kill himself with assisted suicide (now legal in Washington state.) In advance of the dirty deed, the family is having a brunch with him before he's dead. This brunch has been labelled the Death Brunch. My friend is mortified but it's her boyfriend's favorite uncle and he wants her to meet the man.

Normally you'd wear whites and an Easter hat to a spring brunch, but should she wear black because it's a death brunch?

The suicide has been delayed because his doctor refused to kill him. I would assume he's shopping for a back alley Kevorkian now.

Caliban · « **Reply #1 on:** March 30, 2012, 11:37:10 PM »

Pancreatric cancer is terminal?

TJ Spyke · « **Reply #2 on:** March 30, 2012, 11:42:46 PM »

Quote from: Caliban on March 30, 2012, 11:37:10 PM

Pancreatric cancer is terminal?

It's the 4th most common cause of cancer deaths in the world. Only 25% of people last 1 year, only 6% last 5 years (when counting all stages of it).

FZeroBoyo · « **Reply #3 on:** March 31, 2012, 12:14:21 AM »

That's pretty grim. Hope the rest of the family bears through it...

S-U-P-E-R · « **Reply #4 on:** March 31, 2012, 01:58:34 AM »

Haha, talk about awkward. If it turns out to be an April Fool's prank, don't spoil it for your lady friend, okay?

Also, there are a lot of funny ways to kill yourself. I think I would probably cut my wrists in the tub and write "FIRST POST LOL" in blood on the wall.

Lithium · « **Reply #5 on:** March 31, 2012, 05:48:13 AM »

Quote from: S-U-P-E-R on March 31, 2012, 01:58:34 AM

Haha, talk about awkward. If it turns out to be an April Fool's prank, don't spoil it for your lady friend, okay?

Also, there are a lot of funny ways to kill yourself. I think I would probably cut my wrists in the tub and write "FIRST POST LOL" in blood on the wall.

Never change you magnificent bastard

BranDonk Kong · « **Reply #6 on:** March 31, 2012, 10:43:07 AM »

I would drive to the Everglades and jump into a crocodile-infested swap. It would be horrible on the family, but people would be like, "holy ****, that's guy really fuckin' died right there."

Morari · « **Reply #7 on:** March 31, 2012, 12:49:48 PM »

Quote from: ShyGuy on March 30, 2012, 11:31:58 PM

The suicide has been delayed because his doctor refused to kill him. I would assume he's shopping for a back alley Kevorkian now.

Why does he need a doctor at all? There are more than enough ways to kill yourself. Frankly, I'd get together a hit list and take care of a few other people first... Might even take requests as a parting gift to my friends and family.

BlackNMild2k1 · « **Reply #8 on:** March 31, 2012, 03:57:10 PM »

Quote from: Morari on March 31, 2012, 12:49:48 PM

Quote from: ShyGuy on March 30, 2012, 11:31:58 PM
The suicide has been delayed because his doctor refused to kill him. I would assume he's shopping for a back alley Kevorkian now.

Why does he need a doctor at all? There are more than enough ways to kill yourself. Frankly, I'd get together a hit list and take care of a few other people first... Might even take requests as a parting gift to my friends and family.

Or rob a bank and see if I can get away with it. Free with money or death by cop.

or do something stupidly heroic like run into a burning building to save someones stuffed animals from being destroyed by smoke saturation and dirty ash water.....

or volunteer myself for live scientific study.
such as radical AIDS and/or Stem Cell Cancer Research
Inject me with stuff and then use the craziest theories to try and cure me. Worst case scenario.... I die and my family is paid handsomely for my sacrifice.
Best case scenario... you accidentally cured my pancreatic cancer and possibly whatever disease you purposely infected me with too.

S-U-P-E-R · « **Reply #9 on:** April 22, 2012, 10:45:11 PM »

So did this death brunch ever happen??

Chozo Ghost · « **Reply #10 on:** April 23, 2012, 12:15:08 AM »

Quote from: Caliban on March 30, 2012, 11:37:10 PM

Pancreatric cancer is terminal?

Just ask Patrick Swayze.

That said, people can and do survive it, but the odds of survival are extremely low. Like less than 10%. Of those who survive my guess is they had detected it very early. Patrick Swayze never gave up and fought it to the bitter end. I kept hoping he would be one of those few who survived it, but sadly that didn't happen.

ShyGuy · « **Reply #11 on:** April 23, 2012, 01:58:12 AM »

The death brunch happened, but his doctor refused to kill him, saying that to do it would destroy him, and he decided he wanted to live to see his 50th anniversary. I was told he died in his sleep about a week ago. There will be no funeral.

Chozo Ghost · « **Reply #12 on:** April 23, 2012, 02:31:34 AM »

Quote from: BlackNMild2k1 on March 31, 2012, 03:57:10 PM

Inject me with stuff and then use the craziest theories to try and cure me. Worst case scenario.... I die and my family is paid handsomely for my sacrifice.

That might not be the worst case scenario. What if you don't die, but become some sort of horrible mutant abomination from all the chemicals? Maybe you would want to die but because of the crazy treatment they did it made it impossible for you to die, so you end up sorta like a zombie or like dracula and you live forever and prey on the living. That would be the worst case scenario.

BlackNMild2k1 · « **Reply #13 on:** April 23, 2012, 09:35:14 AM »

Quote from: Chozo Ghost on April 23, 2012, 02:31:34 AM

Quote from: BlackNMild2k1 on March 31, 2012, 03:57:10 PM
Inject me with stuff and then use the craziest theories to try and cure me. Worst case scenario.... I die and my family is paid handsomely for my sacrifice.

That might not be the worst case scenario. What if you don't die, but because of the crazy treatment they did it made it impossible for you to die, so you end up sorta like dracula and you live forever and prey on the living. That would be the worst case scenario.

if i wasn't deformed..... that would be awesome.

GoldenPhoenix · « **Reply #14 on:** April 23, 2012, 08:37:21 PM »

Quote from: BlackNMild2k1 on April 23, 2012, 09:35:14 AM

Quote from: Chozo Ghost on April 23, 2012, 02:31:34 AM
Quote from: BlackNMild2k1 on March 31, 2012, 03:57:10 PM
Inject me with stuff and then use the craziest theories to try and cure me. Worst case scenario.... I die and my family is paid handsomely for my sacrifice.

That might not be the worst case scenario. What if you don't die, but because of the crazy treatment they did it made it impossible for you to die, so you end up sorta like dracula and you live forever and prey on the living. That would be the worst case scenario.

if i wasn't deformed..... that would be awesome.

Yes!

Louieturkey · « **Reply #15 on:** May 01, 2012, 06:07:12 PM »

Quote from: ShyGuy on April 23, 2012, 01:58:12 AM

The death brunch happened, but his doctor refused to kill him, saying that to do it would destroy him, and he decided he wanted to live to see his 50th anniversary. I was told he died in his sleep about a week ago. There will be no funeral.

Wait, a death doctor first agreed to killing him, then backed out because it would destroy him? That's an odd excuse.

nickmitch · « **Reply #16 on:** May 01, 2012, 08:27:52 PM »

I took it to mean destroy his (the doctor's) career.

ShyGuy · « **Reply #17 on:** May 01, 2012, 10:44:55 PM »

I think he was his primary care physician, not a ghoul.

Oblivion · « **Reply #18 on:** May 01, 2012, 10:49:04 PM »

Kinda reminds me of The Lathe of Heaven.

Louieturkey · « **Reply #19 on:** May 03, 2012, 04:06:43 PM »

Quote from: nickmitch on May 01, 2012, 08:27:52 PM

I took it to mean destroy his (the doctor's) career.

Ah, that makes much more sense.

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Author Topic: My friend is attending a death brunch. (Read 7752 times)