You are welcome to try to push my buttons, but even when my posts are a bit more strongly worded, it doesn’t really bother me. I’ll defend myself or a viewpoint, but the way I see it, I’m not letting comments on a video game message board ruin my day.
If you felt I was being smug, it isn’t my place to tell you that you’re wrong. What I will tell you and everyone else is that isn’t my intention and I don’t mean anything personally. You brought up Ian, and to be honest, I actually like Ian. I generally like everyone on NWR, admittedly some more than others. My issue with Ian (before he mellowed out in the past year or so) wasn’t that he disliked say, motion controls. It was that he would disrupt so many discussions, and often with statements that made no sense. “Nintendo tricked people into buying the Wii.” Like, how the **** is that even possible, sir? We could be trying to have a nice conversation about pancakes and then it would always devolve into Nintendo being ****.
I can tell you that I don’t like condescension or flat-out false statements, things that objectively can’t be true. For example, I vaguely recall getting into it with someone who complained that it was Nintendo’s fault because they bought a DS right before Nintendo announced DSi. In those instances, I feel the urge to say something. More often than not, I should just walk away because the thread is done at that point. In the last few years, I have. The point of a previous post in this thread is maybe I should more often.
Look, thread derailment happens often here, but it will usually at least be kind of relevant/related to the original topic and often everyone is having a fun time until someone drops a hate bomb. I still post here because I want to talk about Nintendo things, and it’s small enough that we all internet know each other. I like lurking ResetEra for example, but I’d never join that community because I feel like there are so many people, I wouldn’t be able to get to know anyone.
And yeah, I’m aware that I wrote a lot here.
Yeah, I never disliked anyone, but I now see most of my habits were that of a true troll. I didn't mean to be, or didn't realize I was being that way, and that is the truth. Most of my blow outs weren't over people disagreeing with me, it was what I felt like was bullying. I see now, well I was wrong. But I always felt like the whole world was bullying me so I took that with me everywhere I went.
I am the opposite. Or I used to be when I started out. I prefer playful banter. I often would say things, this is true, that weren't meant to be taken 100 percent literally, and then get attacked (or I felt like I was being attacked when people would post 10 pages of arguing over what was literally just me being silly most of the time) So when someone would mistake my, in my mind, innocent hyperbole if you will, for malicious falsehoods, I got offended. I took it personal.
I also have a physical handicap with my hands. My fingers do not bend right. My hands were damaged as a kid. So when I started out typing was painful (still is to be honest but I grew up I can deal with the pain) so I typed fast and moved on. I refused to us spell checker because, I was a kid. I was a hyper active mess. But, I always felt loved here, I felt welcomed. If I didn't I wouldn't keep coming back. Now, it's just habit. I come here because I have always come here. I have no where else to go.
I did mess up and call Ty some really bad names when he made me angry over the bullying. I stand by my assessment what he did was bullying. The whole Petriots crew I grew to resent. (I am sure I spell that wrong I don't care though) I am over it now. I don't get their 'humor' it bothers me. What I took personal though, always did but now I just push it aside, Rabicle, others like him, would never be serious, always posting obvious joke threads, even outside the funhouse, so I assumed that was the vibe here and I guess I wasn't their kind of humor so we clashed and it upset me people thought their antics was funny and I was just stupid and thats as far as this goes. Its all in the past.
I like you guys, I want to be a better person and I am trying to not be a jerk. The only reason I said anything is I truly do not want to repeat my past bad habits and I am just being overly cautious so forgive me if I get paranoid because I really don't want to revert to my old habits.
I think, I won't name names, but I think some of the racial people hold a grudge for some of the ignorant things I said in the past not realizing I was being hurtful or disrespectful. I never owned up for my sins. I just made excuses. I am trying to own up to them but also, move past them.
Yes, okay I know that changing my name to Stephanie and dressing like a girl doesn't make me a whole new person. And yes I know I have a really bad history on this site. I just, I really have changed. I really have found a place in my life to see how ugly I really was and try not to be that person.
Also, more than anything, I just want to be the new me, and forget the old me. Thank you Adrock for engaging with me in this discussion, it's helped me get past some of my, why I was a monster.