Author Topic: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away  (Read 7123 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Crimm

  • Get your unfiltered Bowsette here!
  • NWR Staff Pro
  • Score: 1147
    • View Profile
The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« on: August 30, 2010, 07:20:04 PM »

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/blog/23933

Longtime readers might recall when my Xbox 360 died back in December.  I wrote what might be the least dramatic moment-by-moment retelling of a death in human history.  Over a month later, I wrote a follow-up blog post about the absolutely insane events that followed.

The short version is as follows:

1. The Xbox died in early December.
2. I shipped it a few days later.
3. Microsoft's Xbox repair site noted they received the console.
4. I heard nothing for a month.
5. A long series of phone calls ended with someone asking me if I mailed them shoes.

I meant to write an update after everything got sorted out, but I was ready to forget the entire affair.  Following the advice of one of our readers, I emailed Microsoft's customer advocate.  He called me the same day, and I explained to him the entire chain of events.  He was extremely helpful, and within the next week, I had a replacement Xbox 360.

That should have been the end of this story, but alas, fate had a different idea.

On Wednesday, I noticed a large package at the door.  I grabbed it off the step and brought it inside.  It was marked as being from Macy's.  I set it aside, assuming that it wasn't mine.  The box was totally beaten to hell, and UPS had wrapped it in a plastic bag to protect the contents.  On a second inspection, I noticed something confounding: my name was on the shipping label.

I promptly set the box on the table and split it open.  This is the image that greeted me:

Shoes.


Two pairs of leather UGG slippers (size 8) and a pair of UGG women's leather boots.  Of course, I was surprised.  I certainly wouldn't order any of the above, nor could I wear them.  Then, I had the flashback.  "Did you ship us shoes?"

It was like a nightmare echoing in the back of my head.  A thorough examination of the box provided additional clues.  There was a Macy's return/exchange slip taped to one of the boxes.  Scrawled across it was a request for Size 9 replacements.  After removing the packing label that caused this infernal vessel to come to a rest at my shores, I found the truth.  The very same label I had brought to the UPS Store, along side the box that contained the corpse of a once functional Xbox 360, was plastered on this carton.  Having printed my shipping label on normal paper, I was relying on the UPS associate to attach the label I presented him to my container.  Alas, it would seem I was not alone in this folly.  If this woman's shoes ended up at the Microsoft repair center, it is not unreasonable to assume that Macy's at some point received a broken Xbox.

I concluded above all else the need to unload this phantom cargo.  I looked up the name on the return slip in the phonebook, and with great luck I found the exact name/address combination I discovered on the third layer of shipping labels.  I called the number, but, as would have to happen with such a seemingly impossible story, she wasn't there.  Not only that, it seems she moved.  The person I got did not recognize her name.

My best bet now was to contact the origin of this infernal payload.  Of course, none of the documents in the box contained a phone number for Macy's.  Instead, I called one of the local Macy's stores.  I was hopeful they would let me drop this box off.

I was connected with a corporate call center, and after much research, the woman whom I spoke with found the offending order.  She informed me it had initially been filled in November of 2009, and the customer had filed to exchange it in early December.  The shoes never showed, so the customer was awarded a refund.  I'm now certain, these shoes are cursed.

Now, I'm waiting for Macy's to send me a shipping label with which I will divest myself of this phantom footwear. 

Mind you, these shoes must have been shipped the same day as my Xbox.  I know I mailed the Xbox on December 5, 2009.  That means these shoes were in limbo for 263 days before they washed up on my steps.

I ask that you all pray that this is the end of my odyssey.

I would like to point out the following quote from the first blog post:

"It landed in the mail Friday. UPS Stores are predictably a bit chaotic at this time of year, but it wasn't particularly harrowing."

Oh, what a fool I was.

James Jones
Mondo Editor
Nintendo World Report

Offline Nick DiMola

  • Staff Alumnus
  • Score: 20
    • View Profile
    • PixlBit
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2010, 09:47:45 PM »
Just reading parts of this aloud induce instant laughter.

"Did you mail us shoes?"

I don't even know how you kept a straight face when they asked you this. It's that much better that the offending shoes eventually showed up at your doorstep. You should've kept the shoes, put them in a display case, and set them up on a wall in your room. It undoubtedly would've made a good conversation piece.
Check out PixlBit!

Offline Caliban

  • In Space As Always
  • Score: 32
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2010, 11:03:14 PM »
You should call back the Microsoft customer advocate to tell him you got the shoes back, and then you should suggest to him that they should drop UPS altogether, and that they should start using pigeons because they're that much more reliable.

Offline NWR_Lindy

  • Famous Rapper
  • NWR Staff Pro
  • Score: 14
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2010, 12:01:31 AM »
I personally love the fact that they're UGGS, the ultimate in super-trendy bullshit women's footwear.
Jon Lindemann
Contributing Editor, Nintendo World Report

My Game Backlog

Offline FZeroBoyo

  • Score: 12
    • View Profile
    • My deviantART
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2010, 12:23:22 AM »
Just reading parts of this aloud induce instant laughter.

"Did you mail us shoes?"

I don't even know how you kept a straight face when they asked you this. It's that much better that the offending shoes eventually showed up at your doorstep. You should've kept the shoes, put them in a display case, and set them up on a wall in your room. It undoubtedly would've made a good conversation piece.

That is the funniest line I've heard in months.

On another note, it was a very entertaining segment. Surely, this is a tale that will be passed on.
This is where I would write something witty or funny if I had any ideas.

Offline Crimm

  • Get your unfiltered Bowsette here!
  • NWR Staff Pro
  • Score: 1147
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2010, 09:15:26 PM »
I was too dumbfounded and upset to laugh.
James Jones
Mondo Editor
Nintendo World Report

Offline broodwars

  • Hunting for a Pineapple Salad
  • Score: -1011
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2010, 12:46:30 AM »
So as of right now, you still haven't gotten your Xbox 360 back?   :Q   Well, I hope you backed-up your data at least before you sent it in.
There was a Signature here. It's gone now.

Offline Ceric

  • Once killed four Deviljho in one hunt
  • Score: 0
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2010, 12:59:03 PM »
That was hilarious.  So much so I be tempted to pass the shoes around the staff and the forum hardcore.  Maybe even special pattern like the Flip folks.
Need a Personal NonCitizen-Magical-Elf-Boy-Child-Game-Abused-King-Kratos-Play-Thing Crimm Unmaker-of-Worlds-Hunter-Of-Boxes
so, I don't have to edit as Much.

Offline BranDonk Kong

  • Eat your f'ing cat!
  • Score: 10131
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2010, 12:56:56 AM »
I've e-mailed the advocate before to, he (or they) typically gets **** done. I actually e-mailed him because the 360 I sent in was marked as "shipped back" for about 2 weeks, but according to UPS, it had not. Well, he went ahead and had FedEx overnight me one, then UPS finally shipped mine after a few more days (I guess it was stuck in the warehouse). So, I got a free Xbox 360 in addition to the one that I had sent in, they both came with full 1 year warranties and 1 month of free Xbox Live, and then about a week later Microsoft called me to apologize again, and they gave me another 3 months of Xbox Live for free. I paid $35 for the one I sent it because I bought it on Craig's List (intentionally) as an RROD console. I sold one of the ones I got back at school for $120, then I traded one to my friend for his old console that he hadn't used in over a year, JTAG'ed it, and sold it for $185. So...basically I turned $35 into $305, and got 5 free months of Xbox Live.

Sorry about your luck.
I think it says on the box, 'No Hispanics' " - Jeff Green of EA

Offline vudu

  • You'd probably all be better off if I really were dead.
  • NWR Junior Ranger
  • Score: -19
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2010, 02:04:11 PM »
So as of right now, you still haven't gotten your Xbox 360 back?

Nah, he got his system back like 8 months ago.
Why must all things be so bright? Why can things not appear only in hues of brown! I am so serious about this! Dull colors are the future! The next generation! I will never accept a world with such bright colors! It is far too childish! I will rage against your cheery palette with my last breath!

Offline Mop it up

  • And I've gotta say...
  • Score: 125
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2010, 05:39:01 PM »
I think the only thing to do now is ensure that "Did you send us a pair of shoes?" becomes an Internet meme.

Offline mamacitalew

  • Score: -1
    • View Profile
    • Movies!
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2010, 07:17:40 PM »
maybe you're far more ethical than i am, but i would have sold those shoes in a hearbeat.
oh, and ps uggs are by far the most comfortable and, more importantly, warmest winter boots i have ever owned.  i bought a pair of pocahontas-meets-eskimo lace up uggs 3 years ago and they're still going strong, but since dsw is hawking them again at amazing discounts i cracked and bought a new pair with a dope ass colored zipper up the back.  i cannot wait for the cold.

Offline NWR_Karlie

  • twitter.com/JonLindemann
  • NWR Staff Pro
  • Score: 30
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2010, 12:13:23 PM »
This totally just happened http://twitpic.com/2l7d5c.


Offline Crimm

  • Get your unfiltered Bowsette here!
  • NWR Staff Pro
  • Score: 1147
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2010, 11:20:09 PM »
I'm not sure how best to express my disapproval.

Besides mailing you these damn shoes...  Don't tempt me.
James Jones
Mondo Editor
Nintendo World Report

Offline FZeroBoyo

  • Score: 12
    • View Profile
    • My deviantART
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2010, 11:31:01 PM »
I think the only thing to do now is ensure that "Did you send us a pair of shoes?" becomes an Internet meme.

If it does, I will be extremely happy.
This is where I would write something witty or funny if I had any ideas.

Offline BlackNMild2k1

  • Animal Crossing Hustler
  • Score: 410
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #15 on: September 07, 2010, 11:52:22 PM »
I think the only thing to do now is ensure that "Did you send us a pair of shoes?" becomes an Internet meme.

If it does, I will be extremely happy.
sounds like you got some work to do.

Offline Crimm

  • Get your unfiltered Bowsette here!
  • NWR Staff Pro
  • Score: 1147
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2010, 11:31:17 PM »
They're still here.  Karlie's dream of size 9 UGGs is one week closer to reality.
James Jones
Mondo Editor
Nintendo World Report

Offline FZeroBoyo

  • Score: 12
    • View Profile
    • My deviantART
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #17 on: September 14, 2010, 01:53:37 PM »
They're still here.  Karlie's dream of size 9 UGGs is one week closer to reality.

So you're taking Jonny's advice and regifting them?
This is where I would write something witty or funny if I had any ideas.

Offline Crimm

  • Get your unfiltered Bowsette here!
  • NWR Staff Pro
  • Score: 1147
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #18 on: September 20, 2010, 08:22:29 PM »
I wouldn't call it a gift...
James Jones
Mondo Editor
Nintendo World Report

Offline Plugabugz

  • *continues waiting*
  • Score: 10
    • View Profile
Re: The Lord Giveth, and UPS Taketh Away
« Reply #19 on: September 21, 2010, 05:09:03 PM »
"Blessing"