ROFL
Finally figured out why it's so bloody hard to get a game. Since I am in New Zealand, my country server wise is unlisted or not grouped. So when I use the terrible match maker, it only looks very locally and not over the ditch where the ping is only a 100 at most.
I also found the half ass server browser with f'ed up fonts and with the very first game come upon the formerly mythical asshat I hear so much about. Chat spam, voice spam, meme usage, TKing, the works. Thank the RNG I already have enough friends listed so I never really have to suffer wankers too much.
Seriously, Valve games are cheap as chips. Even if you don't buy their big pack, just wait for a sale and bam! you barely have to pay double digits for one of their games.
I wish that the servers pushed the map to you opposed to the current system now of having to go out and get the bloody map yourself. Or at least holding those developers choice maps on their steam server so it's painless.