2016 or 2017
Judge: We are in trial!
Phoenix: I think the defense is ready, but I really don't know what's going on.
Edgeworth: The prosecution has finished rigging everything.
Judge: Ok, let's begin. Prosecution, tell us the suspect and the crime.
EW: Some Person with little-to-no motive was seen at the scene of the crime by this Witness of questionable background and character. Said person killed Victim.
Judge: Clearly, I must say, Some Person must be guilty!
PX: OBJECTION! Uh, you can't say that, Judge.
J: But I've already made up my mind!
PX: Oh, in that case, ok.
EW: Here's what happened: Yesterday or the day before, Some Person killed Victim with this knifegun. We've taken and hidden Witness, knifegun, and all other evidence from the defense, because it will get in the way and possibly make this trial last more than ten minutes. I'd now like to call Witness to testify.
J: Witness, state your name and age.
W: No, it doesn't matter.
EW: Please?
W: Ok, but only for you, Mr. Edgeworth. My name is Witness, and my age is the age of Victim. We went to school together fifteen-ish years ago, and I've hated Victim since. I bumped into Victim that day, when I saw Some Person kill him.
EW: I see, can you give use your testimony?
------Testimony of Witness------
W: I was in the park. It was sunny.
W: I was in the tree with my knifegun.
W: Watching Victim intently, I took a picture of Some Person.
W: Clearly, Some Person violently and brutally murdered Victim.
Judge: Well, that settles it. Some Person must have killed Victim. There's no other way!
PX: OBJECTION! Your honor, this is ridiculous!
Judge: You now are penalized! !!!!!
PX: (I should probably have been a prosecutor before I objected. Next time, don't be an idiot!)
Judge: Ok, Phoenix. On the slight chance we're wrong, I'll wait three minutes before calling Some Person guilty.
-----Cross Examination-----
~Testimony of Witness~
W: I was in the park. It was sunny.
W: I was in the tree with my knifegun.
W: Watching Victim intently, I took a picture of Some Person.
W: Clearly, Some Person violently and brutally murdered Victim.
PX: Something in here must contradict these random items I found somewhere!
I must press harder!
W: I was in the park. It was sunny.
PX: (No point in pressing this random detail that has no impact on the case, I'll skip it and go to the important parts)
W: I was in the tree with my knifegun.
PX: HOLED IT! What were you doing in a tree, in the park, with a gun that's also a knife?
W: Well, it's what I use to kill large mammals, like monkeys, apes, gorillas, or perhaps a different primate specie
EW: OBJECTION! This detail has nothing to do with what we're here for today!
J: I agree. Why would this matter?
PX: Ok, you win this one, Edgeworth.
W: Watching Victim intently, I took a picture of Some Person.
PX: WHOLED IT! Why would you just happen to take a picture of Some Person?
W: I like to collect pictures of people and [red text]frame[/red text] them.
PX: [smile]Fair enough, go on.[/smile]
W: Clearly, Some Person violently and brutally murdered Victim.
PX: HOLD IT! Witness, how can you...
EW: OBJECTION! Does this even matter judge?
PX: OBJECTION! Couldn't there be something we're overlooking?
EW: OBJECTION! You're badgering Witness!
PX: OBJECTION! I...
EW: OBJECTION! Judge, he's messing with my case!
Judge: That is true, so let's go on.
PX: Something in here must contradict these random items I found somewhere!
I must press harder!
W: I was in the park. It was sunny.
W: I was in the tree with my knifegun.
W: Watching Victim intently, I took a picture of Some Person.
W: Clearly, Some Person violently and brutally murdered Victim.
PX: [wield picture of Victim being shot and stabbed at the same time by Witness] OBJECTION! Your honor! Clearly this evidence contradicts what the witness just said.
J: How does it contract this?
PX: I...uhh...uhh..uh. [/wield picture of Victim being shot and stabbed at the same time by Witness]
J: I'm sorry Phoenix, you should think before you speak. I'm going to penalize you. !!!!!
W: Clearly, Some Person violently and brutally murdered Victim.
W: Watching Victim intently, I took a picture of Some Person.
PX: OBJECTION! [wield map of area showing that Victim and Some Person could not be seen from the tree at the same time] Your honor! Clearly this evidence contradicts what the witness just said.
J: How does it contract this?
PX: I...uhh...uhh..uh. [/wield map of area showing that Victim and Some Person could not be seen from the tree at the same time]
J: I'm sorry Phoenix, you should think before you speak. I'm going to penalize you. !!!!!
W: Watching Victim intently, I took a picture of Some Person.
W: I was in the tree with my knifegun.
PX: OBJECTION! [wield knifegun with Witness fingerprints and matching Victim blood stains. Also, they bullets have the same "fingerprints" as the gun gives.] Your honor! Clearly this evidence contradicts what the witness just said.
J: How does it contract this?
PX: I...uhh...uhh..uh. [/wield knifegun with Witness fingerprints and matching Victim blood stains. Also, they bullets have the same "fingerprints" as the gun gives.]
J: I'm sorry Phoenix, you should think before you speak. I'm going to penalize you. !!!!!
PX: (I better be careful, what should I do now?)
W: I was in the tree with my knifegun.
W: I was in the park. It was sunny.
PX: HOLD IT! According to the weather report, it was partly cloudy that day...
W: Well, there may have been some clouds, I wasn't really paying attention to the sky...
J: Witness! This is unacceptable! You must change your testimony to fix this contradiction!
PX: (This is my big break! Now that I've found a contradiction, I've got Witness right where I want him!)
W: I was in the park. It was partly cloudy according to the weather channel.
W: I was in the tree with my knifegun.
W: Watching Victim intently, I took a picture of Some Person.
W: Clearly, Some Person violently and brutally murdered Victim.
PX: OBJECTION! [wield statement admitting to murder of Victim signed by Witness]
PX: Well, your honor, this proves otherwise! This paper says that Some Person did not murder Victim!
J: Well, if Some Person didn't murder Victim, who did? !!!!!
PX: (Hmm...The judge is showing those exclamation points again. I better choose the right person. Was is
"Witness"
"Edgeworth"
"I don't know"
PX: Your honor, I have evidence that shows Witness killed Some Person!
J: I'm sorry Phoenix, you should think before you speak. I'm going to penalize you. !!!!!
J: Well, after seeing all the evidence, I'm ready to stop waisting time and show that Some Person is...
G
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PX:...
EW:...
Some Person:...
PX:...
EW:...
SP:...
PX:...
EW:...
SP:...
PX:...
EW:...
SP:...
PX:...
EW:...
SP:...
EW: OBJECTION!
J: You're right. It's not too late to change things, but why would you object to a guilty verdict?
EW: I just wanted to rub in that I'm much better than Phoenix is.
J: Well, I think we all agree to that.
Topic: OBJECTION! (Read 4265 times)
