Waaah! Waluigi here, continuing my story of villainous ne'er do-welling.
At 8:00 AM, I got up and hurried to the golf course. I had a tee time with my man on the street and on Tuesday's he golfed instead of playing tennis. The course was lovely by the sea. I enjoyed the par 3 with the Koopa Troopa hill. Of course, I made a wager with my secret informant. If I won, he'd tell me what he had learned since tomorrow. If he won, I'd have to dress like Princess Wadaisy and work at his nightclub. I don't think he's all there.
Not that I was worried. I know that there was no one who could surpass my skill at the game of golf. I hit powershot after powershot. Unfortunately, they kept going in the water. Because I was trying to keep the game close. Yeah. That's it. Fortunately, I am also skilled in the art of smack talk. My constant cries of "Today!" seemed to shake him up enough and I beat him with a 15 over par. With my victory secure, he was forced to uphold his part of the bargin.
"Alright," he said, "Listen up. I have about as many valuable pieces of information as Diet Coke has calories. Which is to say, I don't have any information."
"What?" I cried, "That's it. That's all you have to offer me?"
"Yep," he replied. "You..you lousy...I had to bet to work in your nightclub....as a princess! All you had to offer was this? What kind of trade-off is this?" I demanded.
"Not my fault I'm better at making deals than you are. It was a smart business decision on my part," he replied.
"You're cheating," I said and slowly walked towards.
"What...what are you doing?" he cried.
"Are you sweating?" I taunted.
As the paramedics carted his body away, I drove back into the city to see if I could find some more info on my own. I decided to look into this rumor about the abondoned warehouse district. As it happened, I arrived just after another murder had been commited.
Appearently a villain called Ganondorf, who was using the alias Stevey, had attracted a lot of attention to himself. People didn't like the way he kept insulting the gods and desiring the wind. The fact that he had a piece of some golden triforce caused a lot of people to think that he had a part of the treasure. So, they confronted him. And there was a massive swordfight. Ganondorf was able to hold them off for quite a while. But then, someone hit a crane which caused a bunch of crates that it was holding up to come crashing down on Ganondorf. Even in this beat-up condition, he was not yet defeated and cast some black magic towards his attackers. Unfortunately, the crates contained butterfly nets. The attackers were able to repel the black magic towards Ganondorf. With him stunned by his own black magic, someone finally found a sword and put it in his head. Hearing the wail of the siren, they fled the scene. Seeing these attackers run by me, I ran towards where they came from and searched the scene as fast I could for clues. I wasn't able to do as thorough a search as I would have like but I found enough information.
I wondered what I should do next. Who would be targetted now? I found out in a flash. The sirens were not coming becuase of Ganondorf's murder. They were coming because the owner of the warehouse district, Tom Nook, also known as Garnee in some circles, had been killed. Apparently, there had been a scuffle between Tom and some people he was renting too. They had a disagreement about money owed. Tom Nook took a whack at one of the people's legs and the others just pulled out some pistols and filled him with lead and then took off. Although, since Tom Nook was dead, they decided to help themselves to the post office collection he had. With the police swarming the warehouses, I decided to look up Tom Nook's residence and search his house.
He lived in an apartment downtown. Going into a back alley, I climbed the fire escape up to Nook's apartment. Looking at my reflection in the glass shattered it and allowed me to enter. I searched his apartment for clues and came upon some interesting tidbits. Well, going through a book of loans and debts he had, I heard sirens from the police arriving at the apartment. I quickly hightailed it to the window in time to see another figure racing down the fire escape. Someone was trying to get information also. I hurried after and gave chase. We ran through back alley after back alley. Somehow, he managed to give me the slip.
As I stood around trying to figure out where I had lost him, I heard some shouting and ran in that direction. I found Bowser Jr. or as he is referred to on the street, MaryJane, lying dead on the ground in a dark alley. I looked around the alley for who might have done it but saw no one. Lying beside Bowser Jr. was some spiked koopa shells. His back shell had been blasted open and he had been stabbed by a magic paintbrush, impaling him to the ground. Some tires screeched in the distance and I saw the figure of the person I had been chasing earlier running down the road. Was he connected with this. My mind raced with possibilities as I tried to piece together what has been happening these past two days.
I decided I'd better see my informant one more time. Even if he has no information, maybe he could help me piece together what had been happening. The new rumour was that the gang of thieves had an underwater base that they had fled to. I decided I'd check for myself tomorrow after I was finished talking with my "friend".
And so the next day, things went something like this: