Topic: Infiltrate 2old2play?

[couchmonkey]

Hey dudes, anyone familiar with 2old2play?

Obstensibly (BIG WORDS), it's a site for gamers over 25.  Hey! I'm over 25!  It runs a lot of articles on Microsoft products.  They're all very positive. It has an Xbox section, but no other sections.  It ran some Wii impressions lately, they started out with, "Say hello to jaggies, LOL the graphix sux!"  It ran another article on Xbox Live not being free, after many well thought out and seemingly unbiased points, it ended with "The only other 'sure thing' being Microsoft's obvious success with the Xbox Live Service."  Oh yes, free online is so silly, give me the SURE THING OBVIOUS SUCCESSS XBOX LIVE SERVICE.

Most of all, the site is owned and run by Lytis, a web marketing company.  This site was paid for by Microsoft, or my name is Christina Aguilera.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to help me invent a user that will be hilarious, anti-Microsoft, yet hard to ban from the site.  If you don't choose to accept it, I'll just come up with something on my own.

[18 Days]

I think we all need to join this site, irrespective of age.

[TrueNerd]

More liek "2Dumb2spellwithletters" amirite?  

[Ceric]

Once your over the age of 25 you have reached such a higher level of being and press of time that the mere saving of 4 letters is a great advancement.  Shorthand is king.

(I was going to find a shorthand system to convert this to but ended up not finding a non-symbolic one.)

[Smash_Brother]

An ancient force stirs within me at the mention of this site...

The fanboy who used to revel in the suffering of other console owners as they were repeatedly burned, often using their own logic against them, claws at the inside of my subconscious, once again seeking to taste the virtual blood of his sworn enemies, the rival fanboys...

But I just don't have that kind of time anymore.

[couchmonkey]

FANBOYS UNITE!  Hee hee.

I'm really not that much of a fanboy flaming type.  I just look at this site and consider how it's not named after any one console, yet one console seems to feature more than any of the others...and it's owned by a marketing company.  So suspicious.  Like a dog with shifty eyes.

[Zach]

heh, this was very funny

Quote
From the 2old2play review of TP
I tried to picture myself in an eight hour session marathon of Zelda (which is totally common for me and the franchise) using only the Wiimote. I cringed at the thought. Games like this need intense hours of hands on button mashing and sore thumbs - not risk of carpal tunnel. In fact, when I asked the Nintendo representative if I was able to switch to a classic controller over the Wiimote he said, “No, then again we recommend a game session of no longer then two to three hours.” Two to three hours!?! Do they even know how people play Zelda?

So what do you expect them to say, you can play for 10 hours and then you can sue us when you need an operation!!!

This guy has obviously never read an instruction manual, where it says FOR EVERY GAME ON ANY CONSOLE that you should only play for an hour before you take a break, and not to play for too long.  The representative could not have legally said that it was ok to do an eight hour play session.


I read the Wii review.  All in all, there were some stupid statements, but it did point out some strong good points of the console and wasn't completely wii bashing.  Does sound like the writer is biased towards the 360 though.  It was an ok read.

Edit: quote formatting.

[Smash_Brother]

Quote
Originally posted by: couchmonkey I'm really not that much of a fanboy flaming type.  I just look at this site and consider how it's not named after any one console, yet one console seems to feature more than any of the others...and it's owned by a marketing company.  So suspicious.  Like a dog with shifty eyes.

Ha! "The one on the right is Mel Gibson, but I'm not sure who the other two men are."

I used to live on IGN, even worked my way up to being a moderator before I realized that being looked up to or envied by prepubescents in exchange for mopping up the equivalent of internet diarrhea wasn't how I wanted to spend my free time.

But yeah, the fanboy wars ran WILD there. Basically, I came to PGC to escape that crap.

[ShyGuy]

I also used to frequent the IGN boards. I was lured here by Bloodworth's seductive charms.  

[Svevan]

Ugh, riffraff.

[S-U-P-E-R]

video games are for children

[S-U-P-E-R]

Quote
Most of all, the site is owned and run by Lytis, a web marketing company. This site was paid for by Microsoft, or my name is Christina Aguilera.

Exposing crooked web advertising is awesome, and hilarious. However, I can't really condone invading forums (beyond baiting one or two hilarious responses) via the funhouse lest we get in trouble.

So yeah, MSN/AIM

[S-U-P-E-R]

I'm going to Akihabara this afternoon instead of reading this awful forum, please link the funny threads/features for me. I recommend starting with the Ladies forum :x

[Arbok]

Quote
Originally posted by: S-U-P-E-R
I'm going to Akihabara this afternoon instead of reading this awful forum, please link the funny threads/features for me. I recommend starting with the Ladies forum :x

I was looking for "weekend web" style posts in there... but nothing... I have failed...

[couchmonkey]

The news stories are really the best, the forums I think have quite a few honest visitors.  Though most of the big ones still appear to be Lytis employees and their close friends/relatives.

Here's a news story on Microsoft's quarterly results..  My favourite quote:

Quote
Microsoft remains committed to world domination with its Xbox360. As of the end of September, the Xbox360 is available in 36 countries and has an installation base of 6 million so far. The breakdown of that is 3.6 million in North America. 1.7 million in Europe and 700,000 for the rest of the world.

WORLD DOMINATION!  EVEN-HANDED REPORTING SIR.

[wandering]

Quote
invent a user that will be hilarious, anti-Microsoft, yet hard to ban from the site.

I'd go with a 70 year old man who thinks microsoft is run by communists.

[couchmonkey]

But then does that mean he supports fascism?  Or does he think those wily "Japs" are out to get him too?