Have you ever said something outloud only to realize that what you jsut said proably didn't come out in the best way or you just wish you had never said anything at all?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did just that...
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
And asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
He knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
Who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and Passed by a store that sold a
Variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
The boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, My sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, My toddler decided to release
Some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of
Her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a Voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
Kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and
Walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when
The door closed behind me, Were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
So of course I checked My seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny Had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, And he said "No".
I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
Because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, Yanked down his pants, Bent over, Spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better, Thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
SIXTH TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
And a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, In the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, The day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
Turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, But half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
MY PERSONAL TESTIMONY:
One day while I was at work, I went to Quiznos and got a sandwich and a soup. After I finished the sandwich and soup, I decided to eat the cracker that came with the soup. So I sat back in my chair and enjoyed my crackers while I surfed the internet.
About a minute later my boss hands me some work to do which required me to make some copies of some documents. So I get up from my desk and proceed to walk over to the copier. When I'm about halfway there my boss points out that I have crumbs all over my shirt.
I look down and say "Thats why I f#ckin hate crackers!" as I start brushing all the crumbs off.
A silence falls over the office and another co-worker look at me akwardly. Thats when it dawned on me how some one who didn't know I was just eating crackers might take that statement the wrong way.
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Now I know you all have done it before, so who has got the worse one?
Topic: Why you should think before you speak (Read 3680 times)
