Topic: Stupid things you've done while intoxicated

[Requiem]

If you are of the legal drinking age (or have a friend who is), I'm sure there's been at least one moment you can recall (notice how I didn't say remember) where you:

A)) Completely made an ass of yourself

B)) Passed out somewhere halarious

C)) Did something halariously stupid

D)) Made out with some obscenely fat/ugly chick (not hatin on fat/ugly chicks or anything)

or E)) All of the above.

This weekend, for me, was one of those moments.

After drinking delicous beer (2 coolers full) and gulping down harsh liquour (4 1/2 gallons), my friends and I were trashed (a total of 12). It didn't help that we were in the hot sun all day, swimming in a lake and jumping off my friends boat. Actually it was because of that that we almost passed out before we even headed to town (I definitely could have passed out; in fact, I had to go outside and juggle a ball to keep me awake as I waited for everyone to finish taking a shower).

We split up with our friends and it's me and just 2 of my buddies. We get back into town around 11:00, and after a quick break at my friend's house we head to the bars. After even more drinking (none of which I paid for), we finally decided to chill out at this chick's place.

Now, at this point in time (4:00 a.m.), I had been drinking for an almost 16 hours (I started at 12:00 p.m.).  So it wasn't a surprise for me to wake up to my friends looking down on me, as a lay so comfortably..........in the middle of a parking lot.

I don't know why I decided to leave the apartment, or why I decided to curl up behind my friends car; the fact is....I did.

Jeez -- what a day.

Your stories?  

[Baltron87]

ugly woman

[Nephilim]

rolled in dog poo, after drinking half a bottle of jim beam + beer

[Requiem]

hahaha

[Nile Boogie]

I was in the Navy, overseas in South America, 2 hookers, a lil boy called me a mokey, the chief of my division peed. Good times indeed!

[Dasmos]

My friend an I broke into a construction site, stole a whole pile of stuff (including a roll of contruction tape), we then proceeded to wrap every telephone box we could find with the construction tape and we also wrapped up a childrens playground.


photo taken the morning after

[Requiem]

Dude,

*bows down*

Your are my role model! hahaha

But seriously, you don't know how much I've wanted to steal construction/police tape. Ever since 8th grade, where I wanted to prank my friend into thinking her house was the setting for crime scene (by wrapping her house in contruction/police tape). She was, of course, out on vacation for a week.


I'm glad someone is at least having fun with it!

[oohhboy]

While I was Japan me and a friend got invited to head out for a drink with a bunch of Rugby playing office workers.

We got this private room for all 15 of us. We are all drinking away. Once we're all drunk I procced to throw parmisane chesse all over the place while everybody is calling me mouse man and just stinking up the place.

Eventally one of the office worker gets drunk enough to strip naked. A lighter gets produced and gets used on the guys ass. Myself being more than merry obtain sadi lighter for my turn on this guy. As I try to light his ass on fire he turns around 180.

Fried Dick.

What has to be the most horrifying scream I will ever here comes out from the guy. He moves with unholy speed towards the nearest drink to cool off. I spills the contents over his coutch and procceds to continues dancing.

I guess this would come under C)) Did something halariously stupid

[Requiem]

Wow.

That was one of the most grotesque drunk stories I've heard in a while.


Pretty damn funny though.

[BlackNMild2k1]

Wow, stupid things I've done while intoxicated..... I wouldn't know where to start. I could probably fill this thread all by myself and only post things that have happened in the last 3 years, not just by me but stuff that I've seen other people do too*. (I'm 26 now and the stories start back at age 15 or 16). Ahhh highschool, what fond memories and stories that were told to me the next day since some of us couldn't remember.

*and I still have some pictures too, almost all innappropriate for PGC forums

[Requiem]

"....what fond memories and stories that were told to me the next day since some of us couldn't remember.

Amen to that brother.

[oohhboy]

Oh on an additional note to that story. I fell over my chair laughing like a mential paitent after commiting said deed.

When ever I feel down I think about that incident and it readyly puts a smile on my face and atleast a sniger or two.  

[BlackNMild2k1]

*Story may not be appropriate for children that can't handle adult situations*

I'll tell one story that happened when I was 21 or 22. Me and some friends had another friend that went to UCDavis(Cali) and they were about to take a multi-UC trip to Colorado.

It was on a 24 hour party-bus road trip that made 2 stops: 1 in Reno so that we could get something to eat and once again when the backup bus driver had fallen asleep behind the wheel and flipped his car on the side of the road. The bus was loaded with hard alcohol in the front and a 12 pack under each row of seats on either side of the row. It was great!!!

Anyway, to make a long story just a little shorter, I'll skip all the inbetween happenings and get to the main story . When we got to Steamboat, Colorado all the UC's had their own building, ,but since UC davis was full and all of us(non-UC friends) were last to sign up we got stuck in the UC Santa Barbara building, a good 6-10 minute walk away from the UC Davis.......awww poor us. We didn't even get to share a room with our UC Davis friend, we got stuck with some other UCD person that we didn't know.... aww poor us. What it didn't take us long to realize though was that the UCSB building was filled with nothing but women and we were the only room with men on our floor, if not the entire building !!!!

Every nite all the UCSB girls would come to our room or we would goto the girls room next door, and we would get hammered. But everyday our UCD friend would tell us to come to the UCD building to hang-out and party..... yeah right, we got a floor(if not an entire building) full of women all to ourselves, why would we leave?

Alright, now to fastforward to the last night....
After stealing the girls disposable camera from next door and taking pictures of our genitals *surprise, surprise* we had one last party. There was one girl that none of us had even really attempted to hit on except for the outsider UCD guy that was roomed with us, so I made a little friendly with her as I got all the girls drunk for the 4th or 5th nite in a row, but a little later in the night I decided I would rather talk to the better looking girl from next door that I connected with the first nite. So I left the girl I had personnally spent time getting drunk all alone and another friend took that opportunity to swoop in for the kill despite numerous poor half-hearted attempts to c*ck-block by the out-sider UCD guy. About an hour later they were upstairs and he was getting his knob polished in the bedroom upstairs.

The UCD guy was drunk as hell and kept going on about how he hadn't hooked up all week and really liked the girl that my friend took upstairs. So we all decided to boost his confidence and have him go for and quit being such a p*ssy. After 20 minutes of pep-talks and telling him exactly what to say, he went up stairs and basically pleaded that she come out of the room. <meanwhile my friend finishes and *oops she swaaalowed it *> The girl comes out of the room and the UCD guy starts saying what we told him too(we are all standing at the end of the hall watching) and they start making out!!!!! Not even 30 seconds after what had just happened in the room, is was f*ckin disgusting!!!! Then they go into the room across the hall and do whatever it is that they did.

Now we come to the day we are all leaving, we all pile back onto the party bus (w/ more liquor for the ride home) and all start getting drunk again. One guy has been documenting the trip on his video camera and wanted some of the worse drunk stories that had happend to be told into the camera. So I volunteerd up the story I just told you now(only I gave him the much shorted and to the point version). I didn't say any names or point out who was involved except for the fact that those involved were on the bus. The whole bus was in riots with laughter and comotion after that except for two people. The guy with the camera kept asking me to reveal the two involved so that he could interview them for the documentary he was making but I refused to reveal who it was, cause now I regretted telling the story. Instead my other friend pointed out both the guy and the girl and it was probably the most embarrasing moment in either of those two persons lives. They ended up sitting together after that for the rest of the trip.

I actually really did feel bad at the time for bringing it up infront of a camera especially when the two people involved were sort-of trapped on the bus and had no where to run and hide in shame. But now that I look back, it still is one of the funniest and nastiest stories I can think of.

p.s. I have a picture of the girl it happened to who happens to be in the same pic as myslef, the girl I ditched her for(the one I connected with the first nite), my friend that pointed out the guy and girl involved + all the girls that were on our floor.

edited for spelling, sentence structure and story clarity.  

[S-U-P-E-R]

I can't help but mention I have to be a bit drunk for maximum beatmania performance, like the first time I beat Summer Vacation :3

[Caliban]

I will never get intoxicated, so no stories for anyone.

[EasyCure]

sounds like someones straight edge...
anyway, BnM that was a f*king great story. bravo!

[BlackNMild2k1]

I got one that actually kinda involves me in one of the stupid things that happened

*Kids, do not try this at home, or ever anywhere for any reason*

One night we had a bon-fire down at Ocean Beach in San Francisco, CA. Typically we would bring a bunch of broken pallettes that we would get from Safeway or some warehouse and we would drink lots and lots of alcohol around the fire while it burns. This time we had a little trouble starting the fire, so some guy thinks it would be really funny to squirt all kinds of lighter fluid(from the metal container) all over the place and then flick a match and get the fire started quickly!!!

Well not only did the flames start up quickly on the pile of pallets and newspaper, but it also caught him on fire too. At first it was just his pants leg, but when he went to brush the fire out with his hands his hands and sleeve caught fire too(this was not a professional stunt). He starts running towards the water, which is about 60 feet away, but becomes disoriented and starts running in circles as he trying to pat out the flames. So we tackle him and roll him in the sand. *This all took place in about 15 or so seconds* Everyone had a good laugh and no one was actually hurt, so we all started drinking and having a good time.

About an hour or two later, after lots of beer bottles were being emptied, people started throwning them into the fire. I'm not sure if you've ever done this, but after they heat to a certain temperature, the bottle will make a loud *POP* sound and then collapse on itself. Well now two guys were intent on challenging each other to jump over the fire back and forth because they were drunk and needed to escalate the level of self entertainment to a whole new level. So someone took an empty 40oz bottle and placed it in the fire when they weren't looking and just before the third or fourth jump across... the guy was running towards the fire and *POP*!!!! he studdered and only half jumped landing on all fours in the center of the fire. I could have planned this if I had tried. Luckily he got out w/o any serious burns or bruises that apparently alcohol didn't cure. We had more laughter and continued to drink and have a good time.

fast forward --> fast forward -->
Now it was really late(actually it was kinda early.... 5-6am) and the sun was starting to come up. So we pile
the rest of us that are left into two cars and try to drunkenly navigate our way through San Francisco(lots of one way streets, it can be a nightmare at times). I was driving the lead car and my friend was following behind us. I was smoking a cigarette and taking directions from my navigator(passenger seat)when all of a sudden an !!!!EXTREMELY HOT!!!! woman in light blue hot pants/short shorts and a very tiny top comes walking out of some building on our right. Everyone in my car is like "Daayum!!" and is turning their head around backwards to keep looking. This happened right when I went to pick my cig up for a drag and it hit my steering wheel and fell on the floor. I was already slowing down to get a look at the girl and the light in front of me was turning yellow anyway, but when I looked up from grabbing the cig I happened to glance into my rear-view window and notice that everyone in my friends car behind me(including the driver) were all breaking their necks to look at the girl too. Thats when I yell "OH S#!T" and stepped on the gas hard!! But that was also right when he plowed right into the back of me.

He catapulted me right into the center of the intersection during a red light, so I had to react quick. I made a right turn and tried to get back to the street that we were just on when he hit me. But all we run into are a bunch of one way streets and couldn't remember what street we were on or how to get back to it. I call my friend to try and see if there was anything we could do to help but I already had a full car and some people in the car really had to get to work.

To wrap this story up, he smashed his radiator into his engine and now his car was dead. My car didn't even have a scratch on it. He was left standing there with a wrecked car, full of people, in the middle of the street, completely intoxicated at 6am on a sunday morning. He tried to blame me for stopping, but I told him the light was changing anyway and he wasn't even looking in front of him cause he was looking at the same thing all the rest of were.

[Renny]

Drunk driving is seriously cool.

[Rhoq]

I haven't really done anything stupid while intoxicated, but I can tell you a funny story about the first time (and only) I drank so much that I "blacked-out".

It was a few years (Summer of 2001, if I'm not mistaken). There was a Freestyle (club music, not hip-hop) show at a new club. I happen to be a Freestyle producer, but that's another story. Anyways, me and my friends started drinking about an hour before getting to the club. We started off with a bottle of Strawberry-Banana Mad Dog. We then stopped at a bar and picked up a couple of 40s (2 each). We downed everything while trying to find a decent spot to park. We were nice and buzzed by the time we got inside the club.

Anyways - soon after I got inside, I saw a good number of "acquaintances" (Freestyle artists, fellow producers and fans). For whatever reason, everyone and their mother began passing bottles of Coronas to me. Keep in mind I already had a 1/3 of a bottle of Mad Dog and 80 oz of malt liquor in me. I lost count after 3 Coronas. During the 2nd performance (I remember seeing Stephanie Bennett perform first and the Synthia Figueroa as the 2nd act), I began to feel ill. After that I left the main room to "get some air". I bumped into Willie Valentin (a Freestyle artist/producer who also performing that night) in the hallway. I vaguely remember talking to him, but I do remember him telling me that I was the 2nd voice to be heard on the outtro of his newest release at that time. Somehow, I made it to an outside deck/bar. I sat in a plastic lawn chair.

This is one of the last things I remember besides the feeling of falling out of the chair and landing on the deck with my face. My friends tell me that club security wanted to call 911 but they told them to "fu*k off and they would handle it". I vaguely remember being helped into a friend's car. I'm told that when I got to my home, my neighbors were sitting on their front steps (which were connected to mine). I threw up all over the neighbors (LOL). When I woke up the next morning, on the couch, I had no idea how I got there.
 

[vudu]

All this talk about 40's reminds me of a great game.  Anyone ever played Edward 40 Hands?  You play by duct-taping a 40 to each one of your hands.  And you can't take them off for any reason (including, but not limited to going to the bathroom, answering the phone, changing the CD/TV station, etc) until both are empty.  The reason it's called Edward 40 Hands is because by the end of the game you're socially awkward and completely retarded, much like the game's namesake.

Oh, and I have no good drunk stories; if I get that drunk that I lose control over my actions I typically just pass out.