*This is a non-partisan joke that can be enjoyed by all parties. Not only is this joke Politically Correct, it is also relevant in its timing!*
Heaven & Hell: Race to the Gates
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a
truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it
seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem, just let me in,' says the senator.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to
spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the senator.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf
course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his
friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his
hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the
expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf an d then dine on lobster, caviar and
champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good
time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he
realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises ..
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is
waiting for him.
'Now it's time to visit heaven.'
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving
from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and,
before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose
your eternity.'
The senator reflects for a minut e, then answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I
mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in
hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it
in black bags as more trash falls from above...
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't
understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full
of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?'
The devil looks at him, smiles and says.......
'Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.'
Topic: B!tch, Don't Correct Me! - The Joke Thread (Read 231573 times)
