Chapter III: How to Poop at Work
How To Poop At Work: Part 1 of 4We've all been there but don't like to admit it.
We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly
felt something brewing down below.
As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise,
the
WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate
pooping at work, following the
Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.
CROP DUSTING:When farting, you walk really fast around the office
so the smell is not in your area and everyone gets a
whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be
careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full
fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to
make sure the smell has left your pants.
FLY BY:This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before
pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If
there are others in the bathroom, leave and come
back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT
FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch
you constantly going to the bathroom.
ESCAPEE:This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at
the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This
usually is accompanied by a sudden wave of
embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not
acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you
are standing next to the farter, pretend you did not
hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is
uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or
laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.