Topic: Worst ideas for using a time machine.

[UncleBob]

So, as I mentioned in the "crap I bought" thread, I bought a tiny-screened, giant TV from the 80s that's super-awesome.

I've joked that I want to build a time machine so that I could go back to the 80s and show off my awesome TV to all the envious people.

To which someone pointed out that would be a really stupid waste of a time machine.

Go back and see real dinosaurs? Prove or disprove the life of Jesus?  Kill Hitler as a baby?

No. That's for more men with far more grand dreams than I.  I'm but a simple guy with simple dreams.

So, I got to wondering... what other really lame things could I use a time machine for?

Today, I think I came up with the best plan ever.

I will use my time machine to go back in time and sneak into this photo:

[ShyGuy]

I would use a time machine and go back in time to complete my loop and deliver myself some gold.

[Pixelated Pixies]

I cooked a frozen pizza last night and over cooked it ever so slightly. I still ate it, but the crust was a little bit burnt. I'd probably go back and take it out of the oven a minute or two earlier.

[UncleBob]

I cooked a frozen pizza last night and over cooked it ever so slightly. I still ate it, but the crust was a little bit burnt. I'd probably go back and take it out of the oven a minute or two earlier.

That's way too much effort.  You should just use the time machine to send yourself a note telling yourself to take it out earlier. 

[Pixelated Pixies]

I cooked a frozen pizza last night and over cooked it ever so slightly. I still ate it, but the crust was a little bit burnt. I'd probably go back and take it out of the oven a minute or two earlier.

That's way too much effort.  You should just use the time machine to send yourself a note telling yourself to take it out earlier. 

lol. Or I could send back an appropriately cooked pizza to the exact time when I realised that I had overcooked the original one. That way, in the burnt-pizza time line I would go to the oven only to realise that it contained two pizzas, one which was slightly burnt and one which was cooked perfectly  (little would I know that future me had built a time machine to send back said perfectly cooked pizza).

[UncleBob]

But then you have to cook a second pizza and the burnt one would go to waste.

Now, if you sent back a good pizza to the point in time when you were all "Man, I'm hungry.  I think I want a pizza.", then, you turn around and *bamn*, there's a perfectly-cooked, hot pizza just waiting on you.

Man, wouldn't it be awesome to screw with your past self like that?  You'd think you had the ability to conjure up stuff out of thin air.

[Pixelated Pixies]

Now, if you sent back a good pizza to the point in time when you were all "Man, I'm hungry.  I think I want a pizza.", then, you turn around and *bamn*, there's a perfectly-cooked, hot pizza just waiting on you.

You're clearly better at this time travel thing than me, lol. That would be awesome.

[UncleBob]

The down side is, since you didn't overcook the pizza, you'd no longer be motivated to build the time machine, thus would not send a good pizza back in time.  Meaning that your past-self would then overcook a pizza, making you decide to build a time machine to send yourself a good pizza back in time.  Then, since you didn't overcook the pizza, you'd no longer be motivated to build the time machine, thus would not send a good pizza back in time.  Meaning that your past-self would then overcook a pizza, making you decide to build a time machine to send yourself a good pizza back in time.

Next thing we know, Apes rule the planet and weird, underground mutants worship a nuclear dildo-shaped bomb that blows up the planet.

All because of your precious, overcooked pizza.  I hope you're happy, you nancy.

[Stogi]

I would go back in time to slap M. Night Shalamalamalan in the face.

[UncleBob]

I would go back in time to slap M. Night Shalamalamalan in the face.

What time frame are we looking at?

Go back too far and we might miss out on the original Stewart Little.

Wait too long and we could still end up with The Last ShitbenderAirbender.

[BranDonk Kong]

I thought this thread was for bad ideas. All I have seen are great ones.

[Ceric]

I would go back multiple times.
Each time would be to save a French Fry that escaped while eating in the car before it becomes uneatable.

[BranDonk Kong]

[Shaymin]

Regarding the German guy: Killing him only makes things worse.

[Ceric]

I wouldn't be around if it wasn't for WWII.  No mincing there.

[pokepal148]

maybe to give insanos mom another round
but i dont need a time machine for that

[Crimm]

I would go back in time to pitch the idea "Splash" to ABC executives, because clearly they're dumb enough to greenlight anything.

[bustin98]

I'd go back to do something wonderful, but once I arrived I'd be fucking dead because I couldn't take the Earth, and the rest of the universe, back with me.

[nickmitch]

I would go back and help myself get laid more.

[BranDonk Kong]

I'd probably go back to a random time and give myself a handjob. Is that gay?

[Shaymin]

"In either case, yes, it is gay."

[Plugabugz]

I would go back in time to pitch the idea "Splash" to ABC executives, because clearly they're dumb enough to greenlight anything.

Please tell me you're not referring to that ridiculous TV show over here?

[TJ Spyke]

I would go back in time to pitch the idea "Splash" to ABC executives, because clearly they're dumb enough to greenlight anything.

Considering the first season/series got huge ratings in the UK (the premiere episode got a 23.4% share) and is confirmed for a second season next year (UK shows are weird, the first season started this year and only aired 5 episodes, and season 2 wont be til next year), I dont think ABC thinks they are stupid for hoping the show will do well here too. I think the idea of the show is stupid, but it did well in the ratings.