Movie theaters SUCK.
I feel like I should be able to smoke hookah and get as drunk as I want without receiving a complaint from old Bitchy McBitchnson because it's his day off and he can't do the same and instead has to take out his wife who took his balls along time ago. I also think a god damn slurpy that looks delicious because I'm really high shouldn't cost 5 bucks when I can't even get a motherfuckin' refill. So don't look at me all weird when I'm drinking a side by side milkshake and stuffing a patty melt in my mouth while you pansy asses are sipping sugar water and sharing little bags of bullshit popcorn.
Oh and don't get mad at me if I happen to enjoy eating cheetos while watching a movie. Sorry, they're not the most silent chip. Doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it and sigh and shake and look at me as if I just stuck my dick in your salad. You need to pay attention to the movie before something bad happens to you.
Oh and what's with this business of no instant replay? Everytime I call out to the little **** who runs the movie to rewind, nothing happens. If I want to see a stupid kid from 'Final Destination' get blown up again because it was hilarious, then damn it I should be able to!
And don't get me started on the families and dates that go to the theaters; always bitching to me about something. "Sir, can you lower your voice? I can't hear the movie." "Sir, can you please put out that blunt? I can't breathe." "Sir, can you get your smelly sock away from my face? I can't see." Oh I'm sorry. Am I ruining your shitty date? Like you could get some even if you rented this place out. Besides, you don't see me complaining that your little whiny bitch of a kid won't stop crying. So unless your name's on the front of the building, stop acting like you own the place! And damn, can't you see I'm trying to get head?! If I can't have my balls played with while watching 'Puss in Boots', then what's the point?
Then there's the sumamabitch who can't hold in their piss and just continues to walk up and down your aisle fucking up the video recording. Can't you see I'm trying to make some money?! Damn.
Insensitive.