Run, Forrest! Run!
I’m not sure if this confession disqualifies my gamer Street Cred, but I have never played a Bit.Trip game. I know; I’m a monster. These games are held in high regard by gamers generally and by indie fans in particular. The most popular of the five, by far, is Bit.Trip.Runner, a game in which the pixelated protagonist, Commander Video (who you may remember from Super Meat Boy) runs to the right endlessly, and your job is merely to get our boy to avoid obstacles and collect gold bars. I’m told that the music is incredible, and that it syncs up with the gameplay like Lumines or something, and that it’s very addictive and I’m a terrible person for having never played it.
I incorrectly assumed that Runner was just like endless runners such as Robot Unicorn Attack or Jetpack Joyride that I somewhat irrationally enjoy. So you can imagine my apathy when Neal Ronaghan and Patrick “Trick” Barnett started squawking excitedly about Runner 2, an alleged sequel to a game about which I had no interest in the first place, and that everybody should run out RIGHT NOW and buy a copy (on a digital platform). Well, it wasn’t long before half the damn Nintendo World Report staff was running to the tops of virtual mountaintops and singing the praises of this game on Twitter. Like any self-respecting sycophant, I instantly caved, but for TWO GOOD REASONS: 1) I am insanely prone to peer gamer pressure; and 2) like many of you, I’d forgotten I had a Wii U in the first place. It helped, also, that I had exactly $15 in Wii U bucks sitting on my eShop account, which made the purchase risk-free.
The next few days are an endlessly running blur.
ON YOUR MARK...GET SET...I’ve determined there are two kinds of Runner 2 players: those who merely want to run to the end of the game, an easily-attainable goal—a finish line in sight, as it were. Then there are people like me, who spend dozens of hours in the first two worlds alone, trying and trying and bloody well trying to get to the top o’ dem leaderboards, which record the top four scores among your Wii U friends. These scores are displayed before and after each stage, demanding your attention and, if necessary, immediate do-over.
No longer restricted to the pixel plane, Commander Video now animated in EYE-POPPING HD, and the worlds he inhabits are vibrant, colorful, and above all, increasingly bizarre. Our boy avoids obstacles through a combination of leaping, sliding, kicking, blocking, springing, bouncing (yes, these are separate actions), slide-jumping, pole-riding, jump-kicking, wind-riding, loop-de-looping, and various other acrobatic achievements. You’d be amazed how many little actions become second nature as you’re pattering full-tilt through a series of interconnected fishing docks. It’s easy to forget about taking the harder path (for more points or unlockable stuff) or jumping over the checkpoint (for more points) or dancing (for more points and hilarity).
There’s really no lack of content here, either. Each stage—and there are so many I can hardly believe it—gives the player an opportunity to pick Easy, Medium, or Hard difficulties. The three are often different enough that conquering all three is like playing three separate stages. You get major bonus points for firing Commander Video into a comical bullseye at the end of each stage. The gigantic levels feature tons of unlockable costumes for each of the game’s menagerie of slowly-revealed runners (including CommandGirl Video and Reverse Merman), stages unlocked by collecting a certain amount of gold, giant keys that, themselves, bring out new unlocks and paths, and of course, those Atari-esque retro stages, activated by finding Famicom cartridges in certain stages. You’ll be running until the cows come home.
Ah, back to simpler times.When it was first released, Runner 2 came under moderate fire for some irritating bugs: leaderboard placement wasn’t permanent—the second you played that level again, your new score completely replaced your old one whether higher or not, or the “would you like to play online” screen just sat there, looking like the game froze, after you selected yes or no for about ten seconds. But most dazzling, Runner 2 had the strangest problem wherein it would actually hard-lock the Wii U upon either turning the system off from within the game, or exiting to the Wii U menu. For some, like me, this last point proved too severe to put considerable time in (more considerable time) so I’ve taken a break. However, I’m happy to report that the patch is out and seems to fix all the problems, including the hard-locking.
So rejoice, dear friends, and do as Forrest Gump did: Just run.
