So apparently since I wasn’t at E3 I wasn't allowed to help with the E3 awards. Well I don’t subscribe to that “logic” and decided to make my own. Yep, I gave out these awards in a secret ceremony that happened in my head. Expect to see them listed on the box for said games when released.

Best use of a Kirby: Super Smash Bros.

The new Smash Bros. has Kirby in it. It was the only game at E3 with Kirby in it. Kirby is much better a character than Mega Man; I would actually prefer a Kirby variant character instead of Mega Man.

Worst Use of a Kirby: The Legend of Zelda Wind Waker HD 

There was absolutely no Kirby in this game. Link’s Awakening had Kirby, why can’t this? That’s pretty dumb on Nintendo’s part, and will most likely cost them sales. I mean Besides The King of Red Lions who is Link supposed to talk to when he is out on the ocean? What else can Link do by himself? Please don’t answer that.

Most Disappointing Announcement: Super Smash Bros. 

We had known about this for two years, and, come on, Mega Man? Really I want Shulk from Xenoblade Chronicles, or Captain Dante from Steel Diver. What is up with this Mega Man nonsense?

Most Offensive Anti-Nintendo Statement: Aisha Tyler Says Wii U Is an Abandoned Platform 

Wii U is an abandoned platform? Then how come games are coming out on it? Sega Saturn is an abandoned platform; they haven’t made a game for it in years!

Best Next Generation System: Ouya 

Forget about the PS4, Xbone, and Wii U: Ouya is where it’s at. It has a GBA emulator. Come on Nintendo, why don’t you let us illegally download GBA games for free?  All Nintendo cares about it money, Ouya only cares about innovation. What's more innovative than stealing games?

Most Egregious Use of Donkey Kong: Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

Seriously another Donkey Kong Country game? Sure it will probably be fantastic but that does not make it any less hurtful that Retro Studios is making another one of these instead of a new IP that would play the exact same way but use a new character, maybe one named Bonkey Long.

Best Press Conference: EA

I have to give EA a round of applause for not supporting Nintendo systems. We only buy Nintendo systems for first party games so it does not even make sense to support the system with quality third party titles. Heck, the last time I played a third party game was Phil of the Future on GBA. Come on, no one wants Battlefield 4, it's only looking to be a good military FPS in a sea of awful ones.

Best Virtual Console Game: All of Them

The upcoming Virtual Console games are so virtual, they don't even exist. That is how virtual they are, virtually non-existent. 

Worst System: 3DS

Where does Nintendo get off releasing exciting new games on their system? How come we can't get shoddy ports of existing games, like the PS Vita does? Shame on Nintendo; once again there are still no half-hearted  ports of existing titles on 3DS. 

All-Around E3 Winner: Sony

Apparently someone always wins E3, even though it is not a contest, and this year it was Sony. They won't be blocking used games in anyway, and will be offering great first party content along with second screen games. What other home console out there is doing that? I can't think of any.

Any awards I forgot to give? Don’t be a stranger, leave a comment.