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Episode 570: The Super Ponzi Bros.

by James Jones, Greg Leahy, Jon Lindemann, and Guillaume Veillette - May 6, 2018, 5:53 pm EDT
Total comments: 6

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Where do I even start with this one? New Business this week is full of nonsense plot resolutions and deep disrespect. Greg is back with an update on the long-suffering update to Pinball FX3. Improved performance makes for improved pinball. He's also finished his bedtime story, Layton vs. Wright. James' tease of an ending that was "absolute nonsense" turned out to be accurate. It's hard not to spoil it, because even years on it can make someone incredulous. Speaking of preposterous narratives, James gives his court-ordered single comment on Yakuza 6. It's still the absolute nonsense you expect from this series, including its own nonsensical plot resolution, but now in an impressive new game engine. Guillaume continues to show his true colors, with an update on his quest to dominate the world of Graceful Explosion Machine. He also finally got around to River City: Tokyo Rumble. It turns out this brawler is single player-only, and for a full-priced brawler, that is more preposterous than Layton, Wright, or Yakuza. Jon concludes New Business with a "best life alert" as he wanders in Morrowind. He's greatly enjoying his time pressing the A button for hours straight.

After the break, we handle a grand total of two Listener Mail questions. First up we return to everyone's favorite game: Nintendo Franchise Executioner. Do we kill Paper Mario or Earthbound, BoxBoy or Pushmo, Pikmin or Splatoon? We then look at statements from Nintendo's new president. Is a 100 billion Yen mobile division really possible? Does his plan for an executive committee to greenlight games make sense? You can exchange 5 orbs for a chance at getting your question answered by sending us an email.

BREAKING NEWS! We've got our next RetroActive lined up. We'll be playing Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure for the Nintendo DS. No date to announce yet, but we'll be trying to do it before E3. Talkback article will be up soon, and we'll have a full announcement for our plans during next week's episode. Go and order your copy now.

This episode was edited by Guillaume Veillette. The "Men of Leisure" theme song was produced exclusively for Radio Free Nintendo by Perry Burkum. Hear more at Perry's SoundCloud. The Radio Free Nintendo logo was produced by Connor Strickland. See more of his work at his website.

This episode's ending music was selected by Greg: Windmill Hills, from Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. Primary composition by David Wise. All rights reserved by Nintendo Co., Ltd.


ClexYoshiMay 06, 2018

You guys have been on a roll of horribleness. I love it. and I love listening to Gui have an existential crisis over the fact that he has literally lost the ability to get it up for Single player games that aren't made in the style of a Lucasarts point n' click adventure. He attempts Auto-erotic high score chasing, but he just cannot get it up.

Play FF5 or something. you can play that game 2 player. or FF14. that's a 10,000,000 player game, and the idea of you and Karen with side-by-side gaming PCs, TVs set up next to each other running Sigmascape V4 with empty poutine containers strewn about the room at 4 AM is kinda cute.

Also, yeah, I didn't bother watching Greatest Royal Rumble myself, but yeah, it made me smile that people started making Shockmaster memes about Tidas O'Niel for that trip he made there.

I grinned with sadistic glee that removing Undertale and it's ilk from the timeline was looked upon as a pro.

That's right, Screw you, fans of LISA and Super Lesbian Horse RPG!

Also, I kinda have a feeling that the Ape Inc/Creatures are not very talented on the coding end and we might have gotten far more stable/bug free Pokemon games.

WanderleiMay 06, 2018

I often wonder if the mental image I have of these guys is close to what they actually look like.

Consider my culpa mea'd on the River City review.

And I would wager that there are more stans for Thousand Year Door specifically than the Mother series, especially since Nintendo is sating most of the demand for Earthbound by literally just re-releasing it (Wii U, New 3DS, SNES Classic). So if you want to cause pain to more people, get rid of Paper Mario and watch Nintendo's good first party games on the Gamecube drop to a trio.

KDR_11kMay 07, 2018

Looking forward to Smash Royale, the gacha based Clash Royale clone with Smash Bros styling.

BTW, when killing FZero or Star Fox remember their impact on the SNES. Star Fox was Argonaut's big hit that resulted in the design of the Super FX chip that affected loads of later SNES games including Yoshi's Island. Dunno if erasing FZero would impact Mario Kart.

ClexYoshiMay 07, 2018

Quote from: KDR_11k

Looking forward to Smash Royale, the gacha based Clash Royale clone with Smash Bros styling.

BTW, when killing FZero or Star Fox remember their impact on the SNES. Star Fox was Argonaut's big hit that resulted in the design of the Super FX chip that affected loads of later SNES games including Yoshi's Island. Dunno if erasing FZero would impact Mario Kart.

Okay, so... I think we'd still have Pilotwings as a showcase of mode7.

but the Starfox argument is interesting. not because it gets rid of Yoshi's Island. I think that game exists with maybe some levels changed to not have 3D Graphics. Stunt Race FX gets obliterated, and... actually the knock-on effect of that is kinda devestating.

first and foremost, Argonaut never gets close enough to Nintendo to then pitch their prototype of Croc: Legend of the Gobbos. their 3D platformer Yoshi prototype. this never gets turned down, and never ends up inspiring Super Mario 64.

The Rumble Pak now has to ship with some other game. maybe this is something like goldeneye, but there's no excellent use case for it, and maybe rumble/force feedback controllers don't catch on in the same way they do in our current timeline.

Argonaut never gets the rub from ever working with nintendo. yes, they made some compitent stuff for the Amiga, but without Starfox and Croc under their belt, who's to say they never make it out of the Amiga space and onto the Playstation, even? This means they may have never gotten the Alien: Ressurection license, to which they made a game that by all intents and purposes, invented the default control scheme for MANY games that would come out in the future on consoles. left stick for move and strafe, right stick for free look, and R2 for firing.

wcmullinsMay 07, 2018

Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door was one of my favorite games on the GCN. I basically blew through it in one week. However years later, I tried playing it and got really frustrated by the BS there is towards the end.

So I kinda see where Guillaume is coming from. Pikmin 3 is like one of those special games that only comes around a few times in a lifetime and you killed it....for squirt guns

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