So, for my other game I've been in a bit of a Kingdom Hearts mood lately. The game I've really been wanting to replay was Kingdom Hearts 2, as it's the only game in the series I've never played in its HD form. I've always felt like I should replay the other games in the timeline first, so last month I finally sat down and did my Proud Mode run through KH1 to complement the Never Change Equipment + Speedrun + Never Die run I did a decade ago. After that, I reloaded my decade old save and finished 100%ing the game for the Platinum.
With KH1 out of the way, that only left 1...huge annoyance...in my way of getting to KH2.


The GBA version of Chain of Memories was my first-ever Kingdom Hearts game, and I remember finding it OK at the time but very confusing since I'd never played the original. Years later, Square-Enix remade the game using KH1 assets, and gave...some...of the cutscenes voice acting. I hadn't played it since back on the PS2, but I'd been dreading coming back to this one because...
Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories fucking sucks. It sucked then, and it sucks now, and it ESPECIALLY sucks after having just dumped a ton of time into KH1 so you can really see just how lazy and thrown-together this remake is.
Every bad story habit the KH series ever developed either started or got considerably worse in Chain of Memories:
1. Making spin-off games on other consoles required reading for understanding the plot of the MAIN games.
2. Endless cutscenes featuring dudes in cloaks spending minute upon agonizing minute just standing stiff as a board in empty rooms and talking absolutely meaningless **** AT people.
Or to put it another way...

3. Really terrible voice acting from the KH-original characters.
4. Disney worlds where the plot is ultimately a complete waste of time.
And on top of all that, you have a card-based battle system that is both irritating and completely broken. The devs wanted to have their cake and eat it: they wanted the button-mashy combat of the original Kingdom Hearts, but they also wanted the player to stragically play the card game WAR at the same time. The 2 just don't go together. Enemies attack too frequently to really make it practical to take your time shifting through your cards, and yet unless you set your deck up with high value cards trying to button mash is just going to result in constant broken combos.
Progression is reliant on drawing random map cards with particular values, but if you care about leveling-up and acquiring rare enemy cards, you'll only use a handful of map cards so what's the point of having the rest?
And I feel like whoever designed the Sleights system in this game wasn't talking to the rest of the dev team, because you can absolutely embarrass just about every boss in the game (except Vexen, who loves his 0 cards) by just setting your deck up for sleights like Sonic Blade and Megaflare to stunlock them all to death.
And if you want the full experience, you have to play the game as both Sora and Riku. Riku uses fixed decks and can't use healing cards, so his is definitely the harder experience, but that's really not saying all that much. At least this isn't the PS3 version of COM, where you had to beat the game 6 times for the Plat (3 as each chacter, 1 for every difficulty level).
And what is all this tedium in service of? A story that is both critical to understanding Kingdom Hearts 2, and yet utterly pointless. SDG don't even remember it happened by the end. The main purpose the game seems to serve is to explain why half of Organization XIII is dead by the events of KH 2, and it seems to me Nomura could have just set aside his 13 obsession and just made the Organization...not contain 13 members (and yes, I know there are actually 14, and it's stupid).
Oh well. At least the game is done and I'm clear to finally get to KH 2 Final Mix by the end of the year. I still have to go back and finish-up my Platinum runs (plural) on Birth By Sleep, but as that's generally considered the hardest game in the series to Platinum (since you have to 100% the game as all 3 characters) and it's a prequel, I feel content letting it wait until after KH 2.