Captain's Log, stardate 48371.1. Having recently turned our backs on another civilization's need for help because of the Prime Directive, we are now heading to a scientific conference being held on Omicron Persei 8 which we plan to totally blow off and just party hard while there. To prepare for this much need r & r, the crew is engaging in various hobbies of theirs.
Worf is attempting to join the Stonecutter's Club.
Geordi LaForge is gettin' biz-ay!
Dr. Crusher and Deanna Troi are following through on the exercise program I initiated for all female crew members.
Riker is doing all he can to get the crew to kill him over his incessant trombone playing.
As for Data and I, we engaged in some of our favorite holodeck roleplaying.
And I know there's supposedly a lot of other crew members on this ship but I don't have time to be worrying about them or keeping track of what they are up to. Six people is the most I can be bothered to think about so screw the rest. I like to use them for target practice in my holodeck version of Grand Theft Auto: Enterprise.
Things were definitely going great so I should have known it wouldn't last. After all, all good things....
(Q appears in front of Picard.)
Picard: Oh, $%$^ $%^$ &*(E# *$ !%^% (@#$%^ ^& 2$&^!&( !^*&*( #%& (*##% &#^&** $$&* !#$^%^@^&*& *(%$@@!#$& *&(* @$%^ *I(^ @%$&^%^* (* #!!!!!
Q: J-Luc! Dog! Homeboy! Haven't seen you in awhile. Is that any way to treat an old friend of yours?!
Picard: You've never been a friend, Q. Just an annoyance. You only ever come here because you need attention or want something from us.
Q: Whoa! Harsh, man! That's not true at all. I haven't come for any attention.
Picard: Then what's with your face?
Q: My face? (looks in mirror)
Q: Oh, yeah! That bad boy. I got totally hammered in the Gamma Quadrant these past few months and this was part of the result. Wooo! Anyways, long story short, some of the Q Continuum may not have appreciated all my partying when I destroyed all life in the Utopia Galaxy so now I need a place to crash for awhile. So, where can I chill?
Picard: Oh, not this $&!# again. (Picard taps the comm on his Starfleet icon.) Lt. Worf, come here with 4 of your best officers. We have a stowaway I want thrown out of the nearest airlock.
Q: Jean-Luc! I'm hurt. Is that anyway to treat your best friend? Sounds like you need to learn some manners. Fortunately, I know just the lesson to use to teach them. (Q snaps his fingers.) Let's see how long it takes before you come begging for Q to come save you again. (Q smiles then flashes and disappears.)
Suddenly, the ship begins to heave back and forth causing the crew to stumble back and forth. A voice comes through on the comms to Picard. It is Riker.
Riker: Captain, we've got a situation here on the bridge. You better come up here and see this.
Picard: On my way, number one.
Cut to bridge. Picard enters from the turbolift entrance. Everyone is staring out the viewscreen. The view outside seems to be made up of large bubbles all connected to each other. In the various bubbles can be seen the original NCC-1701 Enterprise with Kirk and his crew in it, Voyager, the NX-01 Enterprise, the Deep Space Nine space station along with other Starfleet ships from various moments in history. There are also plenty of other alien ships and planets that can be through these bubbles. Some ships are passing through into different bubbles and engaging in battle.
Picard: What is this?
Data turns around from his helm to face the Captain.
Data: From what I can surmise, sir, it would seem that we have entered a part of the galaxy in which the laws of time have broken down. It is like every moment of time currently exists and that time does not exist either. It is most.. befuddling.
Riker: (with a wry smile) Befuddling, Data?
Data: Yes, commander. Befuddling is to cause someone to be unable to think clearly or confuse them. I definitely think that definition applies to the phenomena we are currently witnessing.
Picard: Forget that. What I want to know is how do you get to the bridge from the holodeck before me?
Data: I teleported up. Once I received the summons to return the bridge, I deemed that taking the turbolift would be too long and, not knowing what the situation was, I therefore transported up in case the situation was time critical and perhaps a potential for loss of life. Taking the turbolift while people may have died during my delay as the crew waited for me to arrive at the bridge seemed an unacceptable choice to make, logically speaking.
The bridge crew all look at Picard. His eyes rove across the room from one side to another taking in the crew's stares then he focuses his attention back on Data.
Picard: Data....
Data: Yes, sir?
Picard: Shut up.
Data cocks his head and gives a confused expression. Then he turns back to face the helm and viewfinder. Picard walks over to Riker to speak to him confidentially.
Picard: What do you think, Will?
Riker: You probably should have taken the transporter.
Picard: (annoyed) No. About this phenomena we're witnessing.
Riker: Oh, that! Beats me. Maybe we should try going to warp 6 and see if we can't just fly through this pocket of fractured time.
Picard: Hmmm. No. We have no way of telling how these pockets are joined or if we'll end up in a time period vastly different from our own.
Riker: Good call. That's why you're the Captain and I'm not.
Picard turns to Worf.
Picard: Can we hail any of these ships?
Worf: Unfortunately, sir, it is like every ship in existence is hailing all at once. The comms can't handle the incoming communications. They aren't designed for this kind of load. It's overpowering the circuits and the systems are malfunctioning or shutting down all across the ship.
Picard: We're going to have to find another way to communicate out there.
Suddenly, the ship is rocked back and forth. The crew tumble across the bridge.
Picard: Lt. Worf?
Worf: We've been fired upon by a Ferengi vessel. Shields still holding at maximum percent.
Picard: So, it's the language of fisticuffs that they want to use, is it? Red alert! All hands on deck. (The camera zooms in to a close up on Picard's face) If it's a fight they want then we'll give it to them.
The rest of the crew then jumps in the air at the same time with the arms stretched high shouting, "Yeah!" Cue the opening credits...
The game is now afoot.
Topic: Mafia LXXII: Star Trek Universe. Day 1. Mind Your Peace and Q. (Read 11066 times)
