Topic: Community Funhouse Playhouse - "The Only Pleasure Treasured is in Map Relief"

[Khushrenada]

Are youse saying Zechs or sex?

[Lady Une]

Eh, aren't they the same thing ta ya?

[Khushrenada]

Ya know, Trixie, one a' dees days...

(Treize takes out a gun and points it to her)

Bam! Straight to hell!

(Treize puts the gun away)

[NotΚhushrenada]

(Meanwhile, Barney tiptoes away behind Zechs who is now completely fixated on the Khushrenada's conversation happening inside. He sneaks to the front door and quickly enters.)

Hell-low everybody! Ho he! It's good to see you all again!

[Khushrenada]

Barney! What are youse doin' here? Where's Zechs? WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ZECHS!?!

[NotΚhushrenada]

Awww, don't you worry! Zechs is perfectly safe and sound. (Barney shifts uncomfortably for a moment.) In fact, it was Zechs's idea for me to come back here. After we left, we started having a really wonderful chat and I mentioned how worried I was that there might not be anyone to look after the party for the Senator if I was being pummeled over by my good buddies and he became concerned about that as well.

So, it seemed like the best idea would be for me to come back here and put on the super-dee-duper party like you had wanted me to do. We're going to have so much fun! I'll make sure there'll be some drinks, some tasty snacks, ha-who, some great games and we'll even sing some silly songs! He he!

[Evan_B]

(Zechs busts through behind Barney, grabbing him by his dino-collar. He gets the purple dinosaur into a headlock.)


You slippery dick! If I didn't know better, I'd say youse was an eel, not a T-Rex! Tryin' t'lie to the boss about me, of all people.


(Zechs nods to Trieze)


Ah, don't worry boss. I'll go put him in the shed. That's where lousy tools like him belong, eh? And, um. I just wanted to add that I make a mean martini.

[Khushrenada]

Ah, Zechs, ya magnificent, manly mammal. I truly believes youse could make a mean martini. But, on da other hand, Barney is pretty good with parties and dat idea of singing some silly songs does sound awfully fun. It's hard for me ta decide since I really like Zechs and I'm really mad at Barney right now and I always tells myself to remove emotion from when making business choices. However, I'm finding dat ta be a real struggle at da moment.

I think da best ting ta do right now would be ta have a bartender battle. Botha yuz will makes a drink youse thinks will knock the Senator's socks off. Then, during da taste test, youz will both de-tail yur plans of what kind of a party ya'd wants ta put ons.

[NotΚhushrenada]

Hu-who-ha! That sounds like a WONDERFUL idea! I'm going to get started on my drink right away! I know just the perfect thing to make any party a success.

[Evan_B]

...Huh. Erm. Okay, then.

[Khushrenada]

Ah, dis is gonna be sweet. Finally, something good is happening ta day.

(Khushrenada walks over to a couch and stretches out across it.)

I needs ta unwinds a bit before the Senator gets here. Trixie, why don't chuse put on a record to helps with da mood around here.

(Trixie looks over at Khushrenada clearly annoyed. But with a huff, she gets up and goes over to the record shelf and selects a record and puts it on. " Groove is in the Heart" by Deee-lite starts playing. Trixie stays by the record player and starts doing the Charleston.)

Ah, dat's nice. I asks ya, isn't dat Trixie a wonderful dance-ah?

[NotΚhushrenada]

(Barney giggles) She sure is, Boss! I think Trixie is a bea-U-tiful dancer. Why, I dare say, her hips don't quit.

[Khushrenada]

(Khushrenada bolts right up from the couch)

Nose! Not youse! I don't wants ta hear no compliments to Trixie from youse, ya got that?! I wants ta hear compliments from everybody else but youse, capeesh?

[Evan_B]

Ah, yeah, boss. Trixie's got a helluva good pair of... um, dancin' feet.

[NotΚhushrenada]

(Barney giggles again) Well, sure thing, boss! That sounds like a GREAT idea! I'm just so very happy to be your friend.

(Barney goes back to mixing a drink.)

[Evan_B]

(Zechs clumsily begins work on his own)

You lousy... I oughta... grumble.

[Khushrenada]

Khushrenada to Barney: Good. Keep it dat way.

(Khushrenada turns to Zechs)

Good eye, my one, true friend. Trixie's got a great set o' dancin' feet alright. O'course, the gams they is attached to ain't nothin' to sneeze at either. Just wish the mouth wouldn't move more then the feet at times. (Khushrenada gives Trixie a sideways glance to make sure she gets his point and then goes back to lying down on the couch.)

[Lady Une]

(Trixie sticks out her tongue at Khushrenada once his back his turned. She dances a bit more than stops. She looks towards the door for a moment and then stops the record.)

Hey! I think I hear a noise coming from outside! I think there may be somebody out there.

[NotΚhushrenada]

(turning to Zechs and speaking in a low tone)

Don't worry. If you want to go out there to investigate, I can mix your drink for you while your gone. That's what friends are for!

[Evan_B]

The fu...? You'll probably muck it up, ya jerk!

[NotΚhushrenada]

(giggles) Well, you might be right. My tiny arms aren't always the greatest when it comes to hands on tasks like this. But they're great for clapping. Oh, if you're happy and you know it clap your hands. (Barney claps his hands 3 times) Oh if you're happy and you know it.......

[Khushrenada]

Shaddup, youse mugs! I'm trying ta listen for outside noises ta see if Trixie's right.

[Lady Une]

(Suddenly, there are 4 loud knocks on the door.)

I tolcha I heard something!

(Trixie hurries away from the record player over to Khushrenada and stands behind him, clutching him on the arm as she peers around his shoulder looking towards the door.)

[Khushrenada]

(Khushrenada turns to Zechs and asks in a hushed tone.)

Hey Zechs, where are da boys? How come some joker's able to come and knock on dis door here?

[Evan_B]

You know, boss. They was takin' care of that slimy sack a crap, Baby Bop. Tryin' t'sell us out, absolutely despicable. We'll be dumpin' her off the docks so she can sleep wit the fishes.