Speaking of 7th Grade and Playboy....
I had a science class, and in this class we were told that we would be doing sex education with videos and stuff. We sit down, the lights go out, most of us were kinda excited and ready see some sex on the TV. To all of our surprises, and utter disappointment, it was all about insects and their mating rituals. All the guys let out a huge groan, and some of the girls laughed, but I knew how to make things much more exciting. Right before the class ended, the teacher informed us that we would pick up the rest of the video tomorrow.... but not if I had anything to do with it.
The next day I show up to class about 2 minutes early, which is very uncharacteristic of me, and make my way up to the front of the classroom. The teacher was busy with students asking her questions, so she never even saw me enter the room. I approach the VCR and quietly switch her nature tape with a tape I brought from home. I quickly walk back towards the door into the classroom to dispose of the VCR tape case(in the garbage can outside), since I knew that I would be the 1st one blamed once it was known what was on the tape. I told my friend that he should come with me, so that we could both enter the class late on purpose, but he refused and wanted to be witness to everything going on.
I wait until the lights clicked off in the classroom and the teacher was standing next to tv before I entered the classroom and took my seat. The teacher commented on my being late again, like I planned and expected(alibi), then asked for a volunteer to start the movie. My friend, the one I asked to leave with me, volunteered and made his way up to the front of the class so that he could press the play button. What happened next went down as legendary in the middle school halls for many years to come...
The first scene was a lady riding bareback on a horse naked, bouncing all over the screen. Then it cut to a close up of a naked woman floating by on a floaty in a pool with her breast taking up the entire screen. A few more shot of naked woman dancing around the screen and then the previews were over.
The teacher was still sitting at her desk completely oblivious to what was onscreen, and much of the class was sitting there with their jaws dropped to their desk. The room was completely silent, so silent that you could hear the teacher shuffling papers at her desk behind the TV set. What came next was a video on sensual massage of the female figure which sounded like a documentary as a soft voiced female instructed us on how to arouse your woman with the sensual touch on her most sensitive parts. We watched over 5 minutes of the massage video before the teacher started paying attention to what was being said on the video. The teacher stood up to say "This isn't the video that I put on!!!" as she rushed to turn the VCR off and turn the classroom lights back on.
This is where my alibi saved my ass and prevented me from getting a severe suspension. A girl that showed up to class early and was sitting at her desk, was the only person that saw me exchange the teachers video with my own, besides my friend and 2 girls that I asked to distract the teacher before I went in the classroom. When the teacher tried to call me out after the lone girl in the class that saw me tried to rat me out, everyone else in the class stood up for me by pointing out that I came to class late and couldn't have possibly done it since she(the teacher) made a point to call me out for it just before starting the video. This now makes everything fall upon the shoulder of my friend, the other trouble maker in the class (who was not as well liked as myself), since he refused to leave and show back up late with me.
He got sent directly to the principals office which led to a suspension and almost getting expelled for other unrelated reasons. By the time the next class was over, the entire school knew who put the tape in & what was shown. I was like some sort of hero and the story would come up for many many many years afterwards too.
p.s. For those interested in what the video was, it was Playboy's Art of Sensual Massage and the techniques on there have been helpful(more like ace up the sleeve) up to this day. I studied that tape before I sacrificed it towards my middle school legacy.
Topic: So Refreshing (Read 18641 times)
