Donkey Kong punched another couple vultures out of the air.
"This is getting us nowhere," he grumbled and then beat his chest.
"Are you sure the Banana Gnomes actually saw a shard land here?" asked Diddy to the Banana Gnome King.
"APP! SO! LUUUUUUUUUUUUTLY!", the Banana Gnome King declared, his face puckering up in anger, "Do you dare to call my Gnome Oglers filthy liars?! UN! E! MANIGABLE!"
"Not this again," groaned K. Rool, "if it was up to me. I'd have put a magic lock around this Gnome thing already and made a poorly constructed Crystal tracker."
"I don't care how it's found, I just want it found so I can get out of here," Donkey Kong interrupted, bring a fist down to the ground, "I'm freezing out here. If your Gnome Oglers saw a Crystal shard land here, why can't they find it now?"
"That is....................................................... A CONUNDRUM INDEED!" the Banana Gnome King suddenly shouted, "I MUST.............................. ASK!"
With that, the Banana Gnome King began to do a dance.
"Now we're talking," said Funky Kong, suddenly waking up and magically pulling out a turntable, "Here we, here we, here we GO! So they're finally here, performing for you. If you know the words you can join in too! Put your hands together if you want to clap as we take you through this Gnome King Rap! Huh! Gnome King! Banana Gnome! He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well. He's.."
"KNOCK! IT! OOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!" the Banana Gnome King screamed, interrupting Funky Kong, "I've already performed my dance macabre and attracted the attention of my Gnomians. I don't know what you were spewing out over there but it wasn't even close to our song."
Funky Kong stared daggers at the Banana Gnome King. "I can make a hovercraft out of barrels!" Funky spat at the Gnome King. Then he packed up his turntables and walked away muttering to himself how he is just ahead of the times.
"Musical differences aside, what do the Gnomes say?" asked Paulina, trying to smooth things over and hurry them along. She was freezing wearing her skimpy dress and was getting tired of having to snuggle up to all these different apes to keep warm.
"Nosy Parker swears, and I mean curses, that the Crystal Shard was dug into the rock wall over here. But now it is missing. The answer is obvious. One of you have taken it already," the Banana Gnome King accused.
"Not again!" Donkey Kong replied, exasperatedly. He turned and faced the crowd, "Let's not do this again. If you have a crystal shard, hand it over."
No one moved as they glanced suspiciously at one another.
"If you ask me, Stanley seems to be spraying more bug spray than usual," Candy Kong commented, "Is he trying to create a smoke screen to hide his theft?"
"Good question. We're all getting tired of your antics and how you keep spraying us with bug spray. Cut it out," Donkey Kong ordered, turning to Stanley.
"No way. This spray helps to keep the sun from giving us sunburns," Stanley said defensively, clutching his bug sprayer a little tighter.
"You're a bloody liar," Donkey Kong accused, "I'm sick of it."
"I'm not a liar," Stanley replied.
"Yes, you are. You're lying right now by saying that you are not a liar," Donkey Kong growled, "I'll prove it. You're standing on a sheet of ice right now, aren't you?"
"I know what you're trying to do. It doesn't matter what I say, you're going to accuse me of lying and say that I'm actually standing on frozen water. But we both know that's still not really accurate," Stanley began blathering as he started pumping his spray more and more nervously under the glare of the angry eyes staring at him, "But it's really all just H2O, whether it's frozen or not. Even then, that's not really correct since underneath that layer is ground so I'm really standing on soil that may or many not have something on top of it. And even then, what kind of soil I'm standing on could be.... AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Stanley screamed as he fell over the edge of the precipice and into a deep chasm below. He really was standing on a sheet of ice and his furious pumping had caused him to slowly propel himself backwards along the ice and over the edge.
"Great. Now, we'll have to go and retrieve the body to get the crystal," Donkey Kong sighed. They group sagged their shoulders and started to head off in the direction that Stanley fell.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!WAIT!OHJOY!OHBOY!WAIT!OHHAPPYDAY!YIPPEE!HOLDIT! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD! IT!" the Banana Gnome King suddenly cried out. Everyone stopped and turned towards him. "I found the crystal. I was standing on it the whole time."
Donkey Kong glared at the B.G.K. and shook his head. "Whatever," he muttered, tired of the Banana Gnome King's incompetence, "At least we got it. Let's go."
With that he walked over, picked up the shard and held it close to the other pieces of the Crystal Kumquat. The Crystal gave a quick flash as the new piece fused together with the others they had collected. With that, they turned and started heading down off the mountain.
As they walked down the mountain, day slowly turned to night. As they walked in dark, Swanky Kong turned to Rambi. "Is it just me or do you hear a weird hollow clanging?" he asked.
Everyone stopped and strained their ears. Sure, enough. They could hear a noise in the distance that seemed to be getting louder. It sounded like a... like a... LIKE A BUNCH OF STEEL BARRELS ROLLING DOWN TOWARDS THEM!!!!
Looking back behinds them, they could see a sea of steel barrels reflecting some moonlight here and there, rolling down towards them. "Run!" yelled Swanky Kong. Everyone began running at top speed as fast as they could. But the barrels were gaining speed.
"Why is this freakin' kart so slow?" Donkey Kong Junior whined as people kept running past him.
"What's that up ahead?" Dixie screamed, terrified.
Everyone strained their eyes to see. "It looks like... yeah, it's a wall of crates. Box crates," Donkey Kong answered, looking ahead.
"CRATES?!" Rambi cried, immediately stopping in his tracks. "Did he say crates?" Rambi asked as the others ran by. Looking ahead, he saw in the pale glow of the moonlight it was true. There was a wall of crates stretching across the path. Rambi broke out into a cold sweat as he thought of all the times he had been held captive in their dark hearts. Crates! His only weakness! His kryptonite!
"Hurry up," the others called to Rambi as they scrambled over the crates, helping one another up and over the wall, "The barrels are picking up speed!"
Alright, this is it, Rambi thought, trying to psyche himself up. This is how I conquer the crate. The Kongs are there. They can get me out if I get stuck in one. I can do this. It's now or never. It's do or die. It's.........
Rambi wasn't able to finish his thoughts as he got pummeled by the sea of steel barrels rolling down behind him. Barrels hit his body and careened off into different directions. He was knocked senseless, knocked out, knocked dead by the cold steel barrels. Eventually, his battered Rhino body was knocked around by so many barrels that it began to roll with them on down the hill.
"Rambi! Noooooooooooooooo!" cried Dixie Kong at seeing him get overwhelmed by the wave of barrels.
"Come on," Donkey Kong yelled and grabbed Dixie, leaping off the top of the crate wall onto the other side. The rest of the group ran further along the path. Behind them was a tremendous crash as the barrels rammed into the crate wall, their fast speed suddenly coming to a halt. The crate wall fell over as barrels flew all over into the air behind it from having to suddenly stop at such high speeds into the barrels ahead of them. The group ran on ahead a little further but it soon became apparent that the danger had passed. The barrels had lost their momentum.
"I've had it up to here with these father-hating barrels on this father-hating adventure!" Donkey Kong burst out, "It's time we got to the bottom of this. Where are these things coming from? How many people are going to die from these barrel attacks? I say we try and find the source of these things."
"Where would that be?" Diddy Kong asked.
"The Mekanos Factory District," Donkey Kong answered.
"ME..ME..MEKANOS?! That.............................wouldbemost SPLENDID!" the Banana Gnome King declared, "One of my Oglers says that he say\w a shard land in a factory over there. We could kill two rhinos with one stone. Pardon the expression."
"That's not even how the expression goes. We just lost a good friend and you want to act like a jerk?" Swanky declared, losing a bit of his cool, "He gave this to me before he died today."
Swanky held up a barrel with an X on it.
"You realize that's the kind of barrel you use to nullify power? That's why your unable to get power for your show and cameras," asked Funky Kong.
"Father-hater," Swanky Kong said in a low whisper, realizing how Rambi was actually sabotaging him.
"Whatever. It's decided. We go to Mekanos!" Donkey Kong declared, "Let's go."
With that, they trudged on to the land of the incredibly unsafe workplace.
Topic: Mafia XXXVI: Donkey Kong. Day 5. Mekanos Factory District. (Read 10216 times)
