I keep cracking up randomly over the memory of something I witnessed last Saturday. It was quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen.
I was driving and my friend was sitting shotgun....
Now before I get into what exactly happened, let me explain a little something about my friend. As much as I love him, he's a little bitch sometimes. When drunk he gets even worse and becomes pissed off when things are not going his way and especially when he is not the center of attention.
So anyway, we are escorting a couple of girls after the bar back to my buddies place (he lives on the lake). While I'm driving back, I continue to tease everyone in the car. The girls were laughing and having fun, but my friend was oddly quiet. I shrug it off and continue the conversation with the girls. They started asking me all sorts of questions about a range of topics, but of course, it turned to sex (GP, I swear I didn't bring it up). While all this is happening, I look over and my friend now has his arms crossed. Odd...He should be all smiles now.
We're getting closer now. Like most girls who go home with strange men, these girls we're some freaks. A few words and a couple dares later, they start making out and fondling each other in the back seat. I just burst laughing at the spectacle and I try to give my buddy a pound. Completely ignoring me, he asks if he can smoke a cigarette in my car. I reply "How many times have you been in this car? **** no you can't smoke a cigarette!" He starts pleading with me telling me that he really needs to smoke this cigarette. I reply "So you can spit up more blood? I thought you were done smoking? Don't be a dumbass. If you want to smoke, you can smoke at the crib." He starts to raise his voice. The girls stop kissing and focus on our conversation. "Who do you think your raising your voice too? Better behave or I'll kill us all!" While laughing maniacally, I speed up and swerve wildly back and forth. I soon chill out and now everyone is laughing....except him.
He says one thing, "Well **** you then!" and this motherfucker opens the door and jumps out the car! But he didn't dive and roll, he literally tried to run! I had no idea what to do; all I could do was watch! As soon as his face hit the ground, I hit the brakes and jumped out of the car.
"What the hell is wrong you?!" I help him up, but he throws me off. I notice he has a huge bruise on his cheek and arm. I start laughing into tears.
"Why? hahaha Wh hahahahaha Why?!?! Why would you do that?" He looks at me, lights up his cigarette and starts walking down the road. I don't know how concerned I should be, so instead of being his fucking therapist, I jump in the car and follow him. I slowly pull up to him, roll down the window and yell "Hey....HEY!.....How much?!....Well **** you then punk!" Again, the girls laugh, but he's not in the mood. I roll the window back up cause the smoke is getting in my car. I talk to the girls and make up some story but don't reveal any details; basically I do him the favor of making him look "complicated" rather than a "goober".
He finally finishes his cigarette and hops in. The girls start to swoon over him and this son of bitch has the audacity to crack a smile. I guess he was threaten by me even though I had no intentions to do anything with these girls.
We get back to the house and everyone is already there. They ask me "What took you guys so long?" With no emotion on my face, I walk up to the hookah, already in session, jack the hose and hit it while staring them all in the face. After blowing out a hit, I replied flatly "____ jumped out of the car." They looked around puzzled, "Wait, what?!" I repeated "HE FUCKING JUMPED OUT OF MY CAR! IT WAS THE FUNNIEST **** I'VE EVER SEEN! Look at his face!"
I proceed to tell them what I told you. Throughout the rest of the night, we would bring it back up like, "Hey guys, remember that time ____ jumped out of a car?"
Topic: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand? (Read 3848 times)
