Topic: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo

[UncleBob]

Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo

Who would win in a knife fight?

[Pale]

Kangaroo has the best reach if he straps the knives to his feet.

Unless of course this fight is occurring under water?  Is it?

[BeautifulShy]

I think it is blatantly obvious that the squid would win.

[Nick DiMola]

I agree, the squid would take the knife wounds then crush its opponents' skulls with its massively powerful beak.

[stevey]

Squids and kangaroos would never know how to use knifes, a monkey on the other hand...

[BeautifulShy]

stevey the squid would just use its extra limbs and throw everybody around.

[UncleBob]

Y'all are dumb.  First, it's a knife fight, not a beak fight or a throw everyone around fight.

Second, the monkey is the only one with opposable thumbs.  Instant win.

Third, the monkey can jump into the trees and get the drop on the kangaroo.  Knifes strapped to his feet won't help when monkey hellfire rains from above.

[Pale]

What if the Kangaroo draws the monkey into an area that has no trees?

[UncleBob]

The Monkey wouldn't be that stupid.  The Squid, maybe.

[EasyCure]

Y'all are dumb.  First, it's a knife fight, not a beak fight or a throw everyone around fight.

Second, the monkey is the only one with opposable thumbs.  Instant win.

Third, the monkey can jump into the trees and get the drop on the kangaroo.  Knifes strapped to his feet won't help when monkey hellfire rains from above.

This, especially the first sentance. Freaking monkeys man.. thats where its at. If you don't believe a monkey would win in such a fight, you're admitting that if you were in a situation, you'd fail.

[RABicle]

Kangaroo has the best reach if he straps the knives to his feet.

I TELL YOU THIS AS AN AUSTRALIAN. KANGAROOS DO. NOT. NEED. KNIVES. ON. THEIR. FEET.

[UncleBob]

I TELL YOU THIS AS AN AUSTRALIAN. KANGAROOS DO. NOT. NEED. KNIVES. ON. THEIR. FEET.

Knife fight...

[nickmitch]

Well, couldn't the squid have 6 knives?

[UncleBob]

Well, couldn't the squid have 6 knives?

He *could*.  But he doesn't have thumbs to hold them.

[BlackNMild2k1]

snakes don't have thumbs either & I've seen them grip things pretty tight.

why couldn't a squid do the same? don't they have suction cups on the tentacles?
c'mon 6 knives for the squid vs. 3 knives for the monkey & 2 knives for the kangaroo.

the squid has an obvious hardware advantage, not to mention a possible reach advantage.

[UncleBob]

snakes don't have thumbs either & I've seen them grip things pretty tight.

But have you seen them thrust the things they're griping so tightly?

why couldn't a squid do the same? don't they have suction cups on the tentacles?
c'mon 6 knives for the squid vs. 3 knives for the monkey & 2 knives for the kangaroo.

However, monkeys have been known to use tools.  The squid and the kangaroo would look at the knife all confused while the monkey is stab, stab, stabbing away.

[BlackNMild2k1]

can Lobster play too?



Kangaroo & Monkey vs Squid & Lobster!

FIGHT!!!

[ThePerm]

monkeys are smart, but they have some insane add. Squids are smart, but might have a disadvantage on land, in the water the squid would win and thats why i voted squid because monkeys can't swim and i doubt kangaroos can either. Squids are also cold blooded killers, one time a man in korea was eating a living squid, but its parts crawled into his air pipe and suffocated him to death, serves him right. Kargaroos are hard to aproach, but if a monkey could he would slit its throat. Kangaroos can grasp things, but not as well as a monkey.

[UncleBob]

I don't imangine the fight taking place in the water.  I picture something more like a Squid, on land, with some kind of reverse SCUBA helmet on.

I set this up to my wife who, after the initial confusion, instantly said "The Monkey".

See, you all are wrong.  Well, except for those of you who agreed with me that the Monkey would win.

[BlackNMild2k1]

I picture it like this: (too much thought to follow)

Squid on land with a knife in each tentacle doing a magical floaty type thing as if it were in water.
Has extremely long reach with its two striking tentacles and has a crazy 6 tentacle spinning fury attack.

kangaroo has a knife in each hand and some cock fighting claws attached to its feet.
No real reach, but has a lot of power in close range attacks. Jabs with fist, rest on tail to slash with feet.

Monkey, has a major tactical advantage with is speed, agility & small size. equipped with 3 knives
(one in each hand and one gripped by his tail) the monkey can jump in and out of battle and climb trees to drop in from above.

I really see the Kangaroo being at a major disadvantage and not really a factor in this fight.
It really comes down to the Monkey vs the Squid & I don't see the small but quick monkey coming out on top larger, 6 armed, long reached squid in the end.

[stevey]

You guy are extremely over estimating a squid size and power. A normal 3 foot long squid could barely lift a knife. Best it could do is try to strangle someone but the other both have knifes to cut it apart if it tried.

[ShyGuy]

Batman with prep time.

[Arbok]

For all you guys championing the monkey for his opposable thumbs, you are forgetting one major element: duck tape.

[nickmitch]

You guy are extremely over estimating a squid size and power. A normal 3 foot long squid could barely lift a knife. Best it could do is try to strangle someone but the other both have knifes to cut it apart if it tried.

Well, that makes you have to ask what kind of squid are we using?  A giant squid would hold the knives easily.  Also, what type of monkey?  There are a lot of factors here.

[BlackNMild2k1]

i was figuring the best each species has to offer... but that makes it a very one sided fight in favor of the (colossal aka giant)squid