Topic: Adventures in Hoboton.

[Maverick]

While waiting in line for the Xbox 360 launch at a Toys R Us, a local homeless man approached us.  The rest of the line all shunned him and looked away as to avoid conversation, leaving me and my friend standing there hoping he didn't stab us.  He asked us "What are you guys waiting for?"

We explained that we were waiting for the Xbox 360 video game console.  My dumbass friend then proceeded to ask the hobo "Are you going to get one?"

The hobo exclaimed, "WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING TO PUT IT?!"

At this point I was sure that we were going to be hobo-stabbed.  Fortunately the hobo seemed to have a sense of humor and just carried along with his hobo business.

Anybody else have any other interesting hobo stories to share?

[animecyberrat]

I was the hobo and I regret not stabbing you to this day.

[Maverick]

That explains a lot, actually.

[Bill Aurion]

I thought this topic was going to be about GoNintendo for some reason...

[bustin98]

I thought it was going to be about the new Hobbit movie.

Maverick had a dream he was Bilbo Baggins, and he happened across a ring while escaping the Golum. Then a dragon showed up and spilled bile all over him. Before he knew it, he was growing funny hairs out of his back and his fingers were falling off.

What wierd dreams Maverick has.

[Maverick]

Are you the Dream Police?

Get 'em out of my head!

[Khushrenada]

This might be one of the top five stories ever told on these forums.

Minnie the Moocher being #1 of course.

[ShyGuy]

I remember was back in the 90's I was working at K-Mart, supporting myself and barely getting by. There was a hobo who stood out on the street corner with a sign. A coworker struck up a conversation with him and the hobo said he lived in a tent up north and couldn't work because he had a bad back. He got a government check each month for $600. At the time I was making about $550 a month from Kmart. I wanted to hit that hobo with my crappy car.

[DAaaMan64]

I flipped off hobo hiding behind his sign trying to make a cell phone call.

[Maverick]

This might be one of the top five stories ever told on these forums.

Minnie the Moocher being #1 of course.

Funny, I was sure that my roommate story tops the hobo one.

I remember was back in the 90's I was working at K-Mart, supporting myself and barely getting by. There was a hobo who stood out on the street corner with a sign. A coworker struck up a conversation with him and the hobo said he lived in a tent up north and couldn't work because he had a bad back. He got a government check each month for $600. At the time I was making about $550 a month from Kmart. I wanted to hit that hobo with my crappy car.

Where did his $600 dollar check go to?  "123 Tent On A Hill Dr."?

I flipped off hobo hiding behind his sign trying to make a cell phone call.

You must ever be on the lookout for the ever present "False Hobo".

[ShyGuy]

I donno, a PO Box, maybe a relatives address, maybe a caseworker got it to him.

I prefer the rail-traveling country hobo myself. I've known people who lived that life for a while.

[animecyberrat]

I honest to god lived out of my car for a whole summer. It was great, except the part about begging for food. But I had my sister for that part so I managed to get by.

[EasyCure]

This might be one of the top five stories ever told on these forums.

Minnie the Moocher being #1 of course.

Funny, I was sure that my roommate story tops the hobo one.

i'll agree with you since i didnt hear about Minnie the Moocher...

I honest to god lived out of my car for a whole summer. It was great, except the part about begging for food. But I had my sister for that part so I managed to get by.

i'm not gonna go there....


Here's my hobo story (one of many i assure you...)

I was 18 at the time and didn't own a car yet so i was taking the public bus to work on a hot summer day. The bus stop isn't very far from where i live, but its on a main strip that has a lot of small businesses, and the stop closest was in front of some sort of rehabilitation center and there were always weird characters hanging out in front.. some looked mentally challenge and some looked fine but then they'd speak and you can tell that crack or whatever drug of choice they were on fried their brain.

So i'm waiting at this bus stop because the rehab center has these stone slabs meant for siting, and they were in the shade so a cold seat was welcome on such a hot day. Two seats down there was a guy who was clearly homeless. A few minutes after sitting there, minding my own business listening to my cd player, i can see that this hobo had started talking to me even though i wasn't paying attention and couldn't hear anything. I felt bad so i pulled a headphone down and said "what?"

he was in mid-sentance saying "i'm not doing nothing. You look like a good kid. Some of these kids... they... these kids kick me in my sleep. I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! i'm just trying to sleep and these kids come and kick me but not you... i've never seen you around but you look like a good kid. I'm afriad every night i try to go to sleep cuz they try to mess with me but you're a good kick I'M NOT DOING NOTHING"

at this point i'm staring at my watch wondering why the bus is late. I excuse myself to get up to check the schedule and he's still going on and on about how kids beat him and throw things at him cuz he's homeless. I felt bad... plus it was too hot outside of the shade so i sat back down. I'm sitting there, nodding to everything he says. We're on a corner mind you, in front of a street light when a cop car stops at a red light.. The bum see's the cop car and stops mid sentance to scream out to them "I'M NOT DOING NOTHING WE'RE JUST TALKING I AINT DO SH*T" then whispers "i'm not botherin nobody, you know you look like a good kid i don't have to be 'fraid of you"

The bus came, i said 'gotta go' and he thanked me for listening and put his hand out....
i felt reall really bad so i extended mine to him. His hands were so dirty but i did it, i shook his hand and hopped on my bus. i made sure not to touch anything with that hand till i got to a bathroom and washed it

[Maverick]

You're a good kid, EasyCure, he had no reason to be 'fraid of you.  HE AIN'T DO ****!

[EasyCure]

there was another time at that same bus stop (later that week actually) when i was sitting there, waiting for the bus and drinking water and some woman sitting next to me starts begging for some water. She was sitting there smoking, and started complaining her mouth was so dry. She asked if she could have some water. I said "no i'm sorry, i only have this one bottle." She asked if i could just pour her some in her empty bottle, i did since my bus was coming and i just wanted to get it over with. I pour it in, she drinks and goes "maaan thats good. thanks.... (looks around) wanna smoke some of this?"

i dont think i need to mention she wasnt smoking a cigarette...

[Maverick]

So did you take a hit or what?

[EasyCure]

no i dont smoke

this one time a saw a drunk guy crossing the street and he stopped in the middle clucking like a chicken.. it was more one of those 'you had to be there' stories.

[ShyGuy]

<-- Looks at EasyCure's location.

"Yonkers... Okay, let's make a note to never go THERE."

[EasyCure]

but what if i hold a tournement with fabulous prizes???

nah, i wouldnt expect you guys to come. I keep sending letters to the mayor to please change the cities name to Bonkers so passers thru know to stay away.

but we're not all bad..., see?

[nickmitch]

While waiting outside a club one Saturday night, RAPPING HOBO. 'Nuff said.

[EasyCure]

oh yeah?

Subway ride with Comedian Hobo, multiple sightings.

Gets on, announces everyone he's homeless, starts telling jokes:

"you know i heard michael jackson was sent to the hospital, supposed to be really really sick. Yeah, turns out he ate a ten year old weenie!"

laughs, and jingles the little bit of change he had in his cup.

[Maverick]

I'm so glad I started this thread.  You guys have truly enriched my life with your tales of hobodom.

[EasyCure]

more to come, trust me.

[ShyGuy]

Yonkers notable people:
# David Berkowitz, serial killer known as "Son of Sam"

[Svevan]

We have two famous hobos in Medford: Downtown Dan and the dude that practically lives in Starbucks. Both of them are nuts, but one of them is actually insane.

I have hobo stories from Portland, but, meh, they're just awkward. Like a homeless guy threatened me physically by pretending he was going to punch me in the face after I didn't want to buy a bus ticket from him (was waiting for a bus just like EasyCure). And another one stole my lighter after I gave him a cigarette. I started to walk away, and he was like "aww man I'm sorry take your lighter," then he threatened me loudly and called me names as I walked away.