Topic: Can I ask for girl advice, or is that too emo for this forum?

[Ceric]

Don't get stuck on the "would'ves"  they'll drive you mad.

[Guitar Smasher]

In that sort of situation, I would tell her I was interested in another girl, and ask her how to go about it.  Her reaction should be a good indicator of her feelings and this way you can stay good friends if things don't work out.

[JonLeung]

Here's a new devlopment.

I've been having trouble getting a hold of Ada lately but I know she's busy with school.  Recently, a lot of people I know have joined Facebook, so I'm just a couple clicks away from Wesker's profile.

I didn't mean to snoop (well...I don't really want to think I'm snooping) but in the past little while his relationship status has been "It's Complicated" and just now I noticed it's changed to "Single" and his "looking for:" thing says "Anything he can get".  In other words, it really seems like he's no longer with Ada as of very recently.

I did email Ada in a simple sort of chat-type email yesterday, which was before this revelation, but it was an innocent one so I don't think she would take it as odd if the breakup did happen today or yesterday, nor do I think it could be the push that broke up the relationship (that would be flattering myself, however I do know that Wesker has gone through Ada's email before and he knows I like her).  In any case, if/when the conversation does continue (email, Facebook, Windows Live Messenger, phone, in person, whatever), is it a good idea to mention Wesker or her current possible availability at all?  Or should I just remind her (without being too obvious) that I'm always there at least as a friend and maybe let that lead into something?

Mentioning that she was with Wesker was always a common response if our conversation headed in a particular direction.  Now she can't say that she's with Wesker, but if she says she's with someone else or flat-out not interested in me, I think that would be more painful than her classic response.

But then again it's not about my pain.  At the moment, she's probably not feeling too good.  How can I turn this bad scene into an opportunity for the two of us to get together?

[18 Days]

Facebook is terrific. You can make your news feed focus more on Ada. I love it.

Unfortunately, facebook never details the whole story. You are going to have to become a detective and interrogate everyone to glean all the details surrounding their relationship. If that means being upfront with Ada, so be it.

[Shift Key]

Quote
Originally posted by: JonLeung
How can I turn this bad scene into an opportunity for the two of us to get together?

Moral support. But I guess this depends on actually seeing her online/in person/whatever.
If she's not willing to open up, ask her how she's doing. Mention that you saw Wesker's facebook yadayadayada. Once things are out in the open, go from there.

[Hostile Creation]

Facebook is awesome.  I simply do not have the energy to keep up on the "who's with who" deal, so it's a godsend in that respect.

Honestly, I'd just be real blunt about it.  Ask her out.  "Do you want to go out sometime?" Maybe prelude that with "Are you and Wesker still together?", but I don't think that's necessary, and it could make things awkward.
However, you do want to establish that things are definitely over between them.  So I agree with what 18 Days said.

[ShyGuy]

How many of those ten other women have you date yet?

[JonLeung]

LOL, what other women?

[18 Days]

Hey guys is this true love?

[ShyGuy]

no.

[Pale]

Rab lives in the tropics.

[18 Days]

Desert. There be no rain here.

[JonLeung]

[JonLeung]

I'm sure no one cares, but earlier this week we had the dreaded "just friends" talk.

I guess me and "Ada" are going our separate ways...

I took it surprisingly well, but that doesn't mean I'm not unhappy about it.

*whine*

[nickmitch]

[Kairon]

Quote
From the movie Starship Troopers:
Ace Levy:  Ain't it great how they want to be your friend right after they rip your guts out?

 

[18 Days]

So how many years of your life have been wasted on this girl then?

[JonLeung]

Too many.

I either have to make more effort into figuring out what's possible with someone a whole lot sooner, or to stop being so monogamous with my crushes.  >_<

[BlackNMild2k1]

Be a more of a player, and always keep your options open.
The one thing women love is a man that already has a woman(women)

[Kairon]

Quote
Originally posted by: BlackNMild2k1
Be a more of a player, and always keep your options open.
The one thing women love is a man that already has a woman(women)

How does that work, I mean, biological-imperative-speaking? Maybe a man who already has a woman is actively demonstrating the ability to provide for her, which demonstrates his successful genes in the process?

[BlackNMild2k1]

Women are jealous/vindictive creatures, and when one woman sees an attractive man with a woman that she thinks she is better than, let the games begin. Lots of women appear to want either what they can't have, or what everyone else wants too, especially if it will make someone else upset/jealous. I can't begin to tell you what would be going through their heads, but I've seen the process in action on numerous occasions.

If you can show your confidence in yourself by being genuinely entertaining by being able to hold a conversation and/or being funny mixed in with a little sexual suggestiveness and flirtation, it can go along way.

for example:
If guy A ignores girls X, Y and Z because he has a crush on girl J, but girl J ignored his advances for guy C
Then guy A better re-evaluate his options, cause if he starts successfully flirting with girls X, Y & Z his stock immediately raises the attentions of girls H, I & J. Now that girl J takes notice of guy A, she might come flirt with him just out of curiosity of what girls X, Y & Z have found so interesting.

I see this happen all the time. If guy A plays his cards right, he can have fun with X, Y, Z & most importantly J.  

[Kairon]

Works the other way too. A typical way of getting a guy's attention when he's being hardheaded is to inspire his jealousy by going out with someone else, thus making the guy (knucklehead) realize that he really wanted you all along, and that he's gonna have to prove it now.

[EasyCure]

dont think of it as a failure thinking of it as a lesson learned and a hurdle jumped over.

i've been in similar situations and they've ended the way yours have, and yes it hurts but guess what? you lived to see another day. give it time and it wont hurt and you'll realize you gained something from the experience so thought things didnt turn out the way you wanted, you still won out.

next time you'll be able to say something sooner and have the hardened skin to let any rejection roll right on off, but you'll also have that confidence instilled in you that even if your pour your heart out to someone and they "reject" you initially, they'll pick up on that confidence and it might just spark something.

i think the problem with this Ada was you just waited too long, so be sure that doesnt happen next time.
next time you meet a girl you can have fun with, even if you dont have (or think you'll ever have) feelings for her, treat her as if you did cuz you never know what could happen in either of your heads and hearts.

my curren gf was just a friend who i met at a friends birthday party last year, when i had a gf of 2 years already. we bonded and started geting a lil closer but i didnt think it would turn into anything more than a friendship, especially since i wasnt single at the time. when that relationship ended she was there for me, just like i was there for hers when a potential relationship of hers ended, and one day it hit me.. this is the type of girl i could be with, this is the type of girl i SHOULD be with.

one day i found the confidence to say something (albiet i had a few drinks to help me find it) and i told her new years day:

"look i always thought you were cute and the closer we got the more i felt i should be with someone like you. whose more like you than you? a physical attraction is there, a small emotional bond is there too.. so why not try to start something and see where it ends up? you might not feel the same way and probably think im crazy but i'd be kinking myself if i didnt say anything.."

she was quiet for a moment and basically said "im so glad you said something cuz i never would have" and we've been together since. my only regret about that was i said what i did over the phone because i couldnt see her in person, so i couldnt see her reaction or take her in my arms etc etc.

we've been together since, spent my birthday, yesterday, all day together and i've never been happier with anyone or closer with anyone than i am with her. i mentioned before i had a gf of 2 years when i met this new girl and in all that time.. working together in the same place and seeing eachother EVERY SINGLE DAY.. i never once felt as close and open with her as i do with my new girl.

sometimes you just gotta take the jump man.

(sorry for rambling)

[nickmitch]

It's easier to get women to date you within a few weeks of meeting you. This way, they'll see all of your good qualities at once and assume you're full of 'em. Comparatively, knowing a girl for a long time let's her see your good and bad sides. In other words, they'll be used to you.

[EasyCure]

and if all else fails get them drunk..


date rape is wrong but Sublime makes it sound so right