When God said, "Let there be light", Reggie said, "say please."
Even at its most flaccid state, Reggie's penis is still hard enough to knock your teeth out.
If by some small chance that the woman that Reggie had sex with did not die, because they all do, she would continue having children non stop for the next 13 years
Princess Diana did not die in a car crash. She in fact saw Reggie's penis and exploded in awe.
Shortly after Bruce Lee's death, Reggie worked as a Chemist, during which time he discovered the element of surprise and later, painium. He won a nobel prize for his work which he put next to his imaginary Oscar on his trophy shelf
Reggie stopped the bullet that was about to hit JFK, after witnessing such speed and agility JFKs head exploded in amazement
Reggie once decided to find a substitute for butter. He took a crap and invented Nutella.
There has never been a hurricane named Reggie because it would have destroyed everything.
Reggie once inhaled a seagull.
Reggie was the original Master of the Universe until He-Man drugged him and stole his sword. Reggie retaliated by raping She-ra with He-Man's dead carcass
Upon reading a fictitious story in his local tabloid, Reggie ripped out the heart of its writer and used his blood to fertilize his lawn. To celebrate, Reggie let Steven Seagal out of his cage and beat him mercilessly. Mr. T, who was also present, pitied the crap out of Segal. Reggie then screw your wife, and lit her body on fire using pure grain alcohol and bolts of lightning from his eyes
Reggie once claimed that Clear Pepsi, "was for queers." The following day, Pepsi pulled the product from shelves.
Reggie gave asexual, immaculate birth to MacGyver simply because there was not yet a person to compare Reggie to. When MacGyver got popular, Reggie ate him whole.
The temperature on Reggie's testicles is 750 degrees celsius. That is because his sperm can breath fire and crap lightning.
Reggie has to carry a permit for concealed weapons every time he wears long-sleeved shirts or pants.
Reggie once found his way into an alternate dimension in which God had decided Reggie was too powerful and had split his strength into several pieces. Reggie left in disgust when he found out that the largest piece was called Goku and spent its time flying around chasing Dragonballs.
Reggie was the actual cause of death of Fredo Corleone. The Don, Michael Corleone, wanted to show mercy. But Reggie knows you don't ever take sides with anyone against the family.
Steven Hawkings can't speak because Reggie told him not to.
There are 3 definite facts of life: death, taxes, and severe pain caused by Reggie.
Twenty years ago Reggie smiled when he thought about elephants having sex. He has not smiled since.
When "Angel" was cancelled, Reggie wanted something for all his fans, so he invented Internet porn.
One day Reggie brought his famous, extremely spicy salsa dip to a party. Many people then asked for the recipie. It included his semen and several dead children.
Reggie wears a cross around his neck. A damn shame that he only got one for the purpose of crucifying small rodents.
Reggie was taking and evening stroll in a local neighborhood when a mountain spring water truck slammed in to a retarded child playing in the street. Reggie rushed to the scene, destroyed the driver, and resurrected the child making him normal again. This event is celebrated as a show on TV called Captian Planet.
Reggie doesn't trust mirrors because there can only be one Reggie
Reggieweighs as much as a thousand suns. Normally, the laws of physics would cause him to collapse in on himself, but the laws of physiscs are afraid of being roundhouse kicked into another dimension.
Reggie's money shot can actually be counted in $10s and $20s.
If you shout his name out your window, Reggie will hear you.
Reggie once ate an entire live crocodile, then punched Steve Irwin in the face for being such a pussy.
Reggie's blood type is D.O.A.
Reggie can only get drunk from a combination of rattlesnake venom and hot sauce. And he's sober again in six minutes.
Reggie clogs the toilet even when he pisses.
We are all but figments of Reggie's imagination.
Reggie is so badass that Oreos seperate in the package for him. Reggie only likes the cream.
Reggie was originally cast as RaĆ¢??s Al Ghul in Batman Begins. He was released from his contract after it became clear he was never going to let Batman win.
Reggie invented the spork. He then killed Colonel Sanders with it.
Reggie does not leave messages. Reggie leaves warnings.
Reggie caught the roadrunner while blindfolded and then ate it alive, right in front of that f*ing coyote. He then put the coyote in a cage and watched it starve to death. Who's wiley now?
Reggie urinates once a year, this is known as monsoon season.
Reggie was recently credited with finding a new race of people living in his chest hair.
Reggie only kills one person on Christmas, and tears out their insides to give as presents.
Fear was a word created to describe Reggie.
To be stuck between Reggie and hard place makes the hard place pretty damn appealing.
Reggie eats Failure for breakfast, and shits out Success less than one hour later.
Upon his birth during the ice age, Reggie ate his own umbilical cord, thus proving he was destined to be badass forever.
Reggie was one of many strangers David Blaine came up to and asked "Hi, do you have a minute." Reggie thought this was an attempt to get him alone and kicked the sh*t out of David Blaine and stole his deck of cards after.
God is Reggie's prototype.
A vampire once bit Reggie. Twelve hours later the vampire became Reggie.
When asked if videogame-related violence was a threat to America's children, Reggie promptly roundhouse kicked Jack Thompson in the face. Ironically, moments later two 13-year-olds were found dead less than a mile from the scene, attempting to reenact this stunt.
Anyone can kick down a door. However, only Reggie can eat the door and proceed to rip you in two by firing the splinters of the door out of his nipples.