KnowsNothing waited anxiously for the Judge to appear. "Swift Justice" apparently didn't bother listening to more than one side of the story and he knew he was doomed. His only hope would be that the Judge had called in sick that day.
"All rise! The Honourable Judge Bill Aurion is presiding," announced the bailiff.
With an aire of pompacity and a fanfare of trumpets, Judge Aurion entered the room. He was looking particularly regal this evening as his head was adorned with a crown and his body covered with a bright red velvet robe with white rabbit fur trimming. Before he sat, he removed the robe exposing a gun vest with "Swift Justice" safely nestled at his side.
"I'm on the scene, like a sex machine. Now sit, and behold my wisdom."
"All sit!"
Everyone obediently sat down.
"KnowsNothing. . .heh heh how delightfully absurd. Why, that name could apply to all of you." the Judge took a moment to giggle at his funny. "You know why you're here today, Mr. Nothing?"
KnowsNothing chuckled faintly, "Heh, no your honor. I know nothing."
The judge burst into a hearty, slow laugh. "You're a funny man, Mr. Nothing. Quite the character. I'm not sure if it's my hangover speaking, but I almost feel sorry for you."
"Uh, thanks?"
"It's my pleasure, now if you would excuse me for a moment." the Judge went to retrieve the magnum from his vest when suddenly a shot rang out and a bits of wall chunks sprayed behind him.
"You'll never take me alive! Not me or any of the Fanboys!" KnowsNothing yelled while brandishing his pistol at the judge.
"What exactly do you mean by that Mr. Nothing? That I will not be alive while taking you into custody or that you will be dead once we get our chance to take you?" Aurion inquired.
"Well, uh, to be honest, I really didn't put much thought into it."
"Don't you look foolish, then? Obviously, one cannot make such a bold statement without understanding neither the meaning nor the consequences. Aside from being part of the Fanboy Mafia, I also find you guilty for being a complete verbal failure."
With that Aurion fired another round of "Swift Justice" and quickly disposed of the town menace.
"Wait a just one blasted minute," Aurion pondered, "Wasn't he the nurse?"
"Yes he was your honor," replied Uncle Bob
"Ha, that's funny! A male nurse. Who ever heard of such a thing? Alright, I've spent enough money this week. TV Man will be paying for our drinks this evening. I'm ordering a bottle of Grand Marnier!"
With that everyone cheered and proceeded to race toward liver failure.
Incidentally, the vote was 6-6. The town whore broke the tie.