Author Topic: Jokes reborn (Read 20370 times)

Bill Aurion · « **Reply #75 on:** December 07, 2003, 06:14:14 PM »

No idea if I'm bending the parameters of your riddle TOY...

99 is more than 100 when both are negative...

TOY · « **Reply #76 on:** December 07, 2003, 06:32:22 PM »

No Bill there really is a time when 99 is more. Has nothing to do with negative numbers. I'll put the answer Monday night if no one guesses.

TOY

Swordsplay · « **Reply #77 on:** December 08, 2003, 05:22:38 AM »

Expressins I question:

Takes the cake:

"Boy, he really takes the cake." Where? Where did he take the cake? To the movies? Down to the bakery, to see the other cakes? And how come he takes the cake? How come he doesn't take the pie? A pie is easier to carry than a cake. "Easy as pie."

Ian Sane · « **Reply #78 on:** December 08, 2003, 07:09:07 AM »

"Edit: Ian, I remember my Calc teacher talking about that infinity riddle...

N x (1/N) = 1

N = any number

And as you get closer to infinity, the identity will still hold true...

(infinity) x (1/infinity) must equal 1, but (1/infinity) is generally known as zero...Therefore, infinity x 0 = 1"

Congrats. You got it. I figured it out in Calc class when my teacher was explaining how 1/infinity equals 0 because with 1/N as N increases (ie: reaches infinity) the value of the fraction becomes smaller and smaller and thus as N reaches infinity the value of the fraction reaches 0. Algebra shows that if 1/infinity = 0 then infinity x 0 = 1.

Swordsplay · « **Reply #79 on:** December 08, 2003, 07:55:23 AM »

What exactly is "viewer discretion"? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air!

Ms.Pikmin · « **Reply #80 on:** December 08, 2003, 08:33:38 AM »

Edit: Sorry, link didn't work.

TOY · « **Reply #81 on:** December 08, 2003, 12:12:30 PM »

99 is more than 100 on a microwave. Input 100 and the Microwave will run for 1 minute. It counts down 100, 59, 58 ETC. Input 99 and it will run for 1 minute and 39 seconds.

TOY

Hostile Creation · « **Reply #82 on:** December 08, 2003, 12:27:29 PM »

Heh, clever

TOY · « **Reply #83 on:** December 08, 2003, 02:49:56 PM »

Quote
Heh, clever

Thanks.

TOY

manunited4eva22 · « **Reply #84 on:** December 08, 2003, 04:03:48 PM »

Ian there is also another instance I can think of to prove it

the recriprocal principle states that any number times its inverse will be 1
well 0/1 *1/0 should equal 0 by the math, but is 1 by the principal.

Swordsplay · « **Reply #85 on:** December 12, 2003, 04:44:23 AM »

I don't understand motivation books. What happened here? Suddenly everybody needs to be motivated? It's a fairly simple thing: either you want to do something or you don't. There's no big mystery. Besides, if your motivated enough to go to the store and buy a motivation book, aren't you motivated enough to do that? So, you don't need the book. Put it back. Tell the clerk, "Screw you! I'm gioing home! I'm already motivated."

Grey Ninja · « **Reply #86 on:** December 12, 2003, 07:39:55 AM »

Sorry, I noticed this the other day, but didn't feel like writing a response at the time. All the math I have taken pretty much requires me to respond to this though.

Quote
Originally posted by: Bill
Ah, I remember that 1 = 2 paradigm...

a = b
a^2 = a x b
a^2-b^2 = (a x b)-(b^2 )
(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)
(a + b) = b
a + a = a
2a = a
2 = 1

^_^''

You are going astray in the 4th step. since a = b, a - b will ALWAYS be zero. In step 4, since you are dividing by a - b, you are dividing by zero, which if you will note, is one of the big restrictions in math, as it is an invalid operation. Hence, 2 != 1.

Quote
Originally posted by: Bill

Edit: Ian, I remember my Calc teacher talking about that infinity riddle...

N x (1/N) = 1

N = any number

And as you get closer to infinity, the identity will still hold true...

(infinity) x (1/infinity) must equal 1, but (1/infinity) is generally known as zero...Therefore, infinity x 0 = 1

Weird, huh?

infinity is NOT a number, but a concept. What you are dealing with here is a "limit". 1/infinity is not zero, as infinity can never be reached. There will always be a higher number at some point. Also, if you rearrange things:

infinity/infinity is clearly 1.

Quote
the recriprocal principle states that any number times its inverse will be 1
well 0/1 *1/0 should equal 0 by the math, but is 1 by the principal.

division by zero is not allowed, so I don't really know what principal you are talking about.

Sorry guys, I was an engineering student for a year, and then switched to Computer Science. If that makes me qualified for anything, it's detecting bad math.

Swordsplay · « **Reply #87 on:** December 12, 2003, 07:49:42 AM »

I don't understand motivation books. What happened here? Suddenly everybody needs to be motivated? It's a fairly simple thing: either you want to do something or you don't. There's no big mystery. Besides, if your motivated enough to go to the store and buy a motivation book, aren't you motivated enough to do that? So, you don't need the book. Put it back. Tell the clerk, "Screw you! I'm gioing home! I'm already motivated."

ib2kool4u912 · « **Reply #88 on:** December 12, 2003, 09:59:56 AM »

Double post 3 hours apart?

yellowfellow · « **Reply #89 on:** December 12, 2003, 02:44:26 PM »

Quote
What exactly is "viewer discretion"? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air!

now you're just talking about semantics

Swordsplay · « **Reply #90 on:** December 15, 2003, 05:20:09 AM »

Quote
What exactly is "viewer discretion"? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air!

Well, its true isn't it?

Oh, another joke/riddle/whatever you wanna call it......

Phrases on an airline that i dont consider "english":

"Put your seat back forward."

-Well, i dont bend that way, if i could put my seat back forward i would be in porno movies!

"Your on a nonstop flight."

-Well, i dont care for that. No, I insist my flight stop, preferable at an airport, not those housing and development stops that seem to interupt the flow of my day!

"We will now board those traveling with small children."

-What about those traveling with large children?

"You should experience a slight change in cabin pressure, a mask will drop down in front of you, place the mask over your face and breath normally."

-I have no problem with that, I always breath normally in a 600 mph vertical dive into the ground!

Swordsplay · « **Reply #91 on:** December 18, 2003, 06:32:51 AM »

---quote by swordsplay---

Oh, another joke/riddle/whatever you wanna call it......

Phrases on an airline that i dont consider "english":

"Put your seat back forward."

-Well, i dont bend that way, if i could put my seat back forward i would be in porno movies!

"Your on a nonstop flight."

-Well, i dont care for that. No, I insist my flight stop, preferable at an airport, not those housing and development stops that seem to interupt the flow of my day!

"We will now board those traveling with small children."

-What about those traveling with large children?

"You should experience a slight change in cabin pressure, a mask will drop down in front of you, place the mask over your face and breath normally."

-I have no problem with that, I always breath normally in a 600 mph vertical dive into the ground!

---end quote---

I just thought of another one to add to the list:

"Get on the plane, get on the plane."

-I say, "Screw you, i'm getting in the plane, let Evil Kanevil get on the plane, ill be in here with you guys in uniform, there seems to be less wind in here!"

Swordsplay · « **Reply #92 on:** December 21, 2003, 10:18:59 AM »

What's all this stuff about retirement I keep hearing on TV commercials? People planning, saving; they can't wait to retire. One woman on TV says to her husband, "At this rate, Jeff, we'll never be able to retire!" What is this all about? Why would someone spend his hole life doing something he couldn't wait to get away from?

evil intentions · « **Reply #93 on:** December 21, 2003, 11:28:58 AM »

What do you call someone scared of Santa Clause?

clausetraphobic

manunited4eva22 · « **Reply #94 on:** December 21, 2003, 02:56:38 PM »

Grey: well bad math or no the concept works linkies

vudu · « **Reply #95 on:** January 13, 2004, 02:33:23 PM »

i found this pretty funny, and i didn't want to make an entire thread just for it, so here it is.

ebay.com: Xbox with Many Games and More - No Reserve

News:

Author Topic: Jokes reborn (Read 20370 times)