Topic: Soul Calibur II Auditions....

[Djunknown]

 Hey what's happening out there in RadioLand (Actually the web but whatever.) In celebration of Soul Calibur II's domestic release I just wanted to post a fun, humorous thread on how Namco (and Nintendo) went through selecting the excluisve character for gamecube. Post your stories on how other Nintendo mascots tried out, but couldn't make the cut. I'll start things off with everyone's favorite Italian Plumber.

Namco's Board (NB)kay, first up, Mario? is Mario here?

Mario: Yessir! Its-a-me!

NB: Mr.Mario why should we select you to be in Soul Calibur 2?

Mario: I've been in-a lot of Genres. Mario Kart, Mario Golf, Smash Bros, Smash Bros Meele, Mario RPG, Paper Mario, Ma...

NB: Alright, Alright we get the point.  Ok, show us you got. Pretend you're in a fight with Astaroth. He's big, hulking, and his Axe has more range than Pavoratii (Bad joke, spare me..)

Mario: Lets-a go!  . *Begins series of triple jumps and somersaults akin to Mario 64 and Sunshine. Starts going off walls and out of nowhere throws fireballs.*

NB: (Whisper whisper.. Okay send in the real Astaroth!)

[Enter Astorth stage left]

Astaroth: Huuuurrrrrahhhhh! *Swings axe and hits Mario's belly.*

Mario: oooo mama mia.....

NB: Thank you Mr.Mario, but I think you're not cut out for Soul Calibur Though we wish you luck on your futher endeavors  . Can someone get a stretcher? And uhhhh, can someone the next victim...errr auditioner?

Alright people go for it!  

[Infernal Monkey]

NB: Kirby? Do we have Kirby here?

Kirby: Woooooooooooooo!

NB: Please don't attempt to suck up the Coke machine, Kirby. Now then, why should we choose you to be the exclusive character in the GameCube version?

Kirby: I can suck and blow!

NB: Oh God, this isn't a porn game, lad!

Kirby: What?

NB: I don't know what Nintendo have you doing, but this is a fighting game. Previous experience?

Kirby: Well, I DID star in Super Smash Bros for the Nintendo 64 AND GameCube.

NB: Yes, but our sources have told us you were a rather piss poor character when it came to the actual fighting. Your only real use was to clone others..

Kirby: THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Kirby devours Namco guy and turns into him*

*Another Namco rep comes along and sees the little pink blob wearing the other guys clothes*

...

Other Guy (OG): Oh, hey Bob. How'd it go? Who have we chose*... Wait... YOU'RE NOT BOB AT ALL! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, KIRBY!  

[Djunknown]

Nice One! Here's another

NB: That was a close one. Hopefully Bob will make it. Alright, next up is...Pikachu?! What?

Pikachu: Pika-chu!

NB: Who let the Pokemon in? We said specifically NO Pokemon! Nintendo is pushing it... Well since you're here, we know you've been in all the Pokemon games. Let's see if you can fight. Bring in...Taki!

Pikachu: Pika? *Starts charging up*

Taki: Hmmph! *Strikes with Mekki-Maru but slices air instead.* Hmmm?

Pikachu: Pika-Pika! *Latches on to Taki's Leg and starts letting out static*

NB: Hey, not bad. No one gave Taki this much trouble in while. But We just don't see it...the promos, the ad space... plus its so...so...yellow. Hey Taki! Don't worry, just let it have it!

Taki:Hai! *Kicks the wall behind her with Pikachu still attatched. Pikachu is knocked out cold. A portion of the wall is missing*

NB: Can someone call the Pokemon Doctor or something? Don't worry Taki, we'll get the wall fixed. I think we need a break. Tell security if there's any Pokemon in the audition area to throw them out! NO more Pokemon!    

[Dirk Temporo]

NB: Okay, so your name is... Nana and Popo? Right, so why do you think you would be a good choice for Soul Calibur?

Popo: Well, we have big hammers and have starred in another fighting game.

Nana: Well, we have big hammers and have starred in another fighting game.

NB: Okay Nana, once was enough. Well, it says here on my sheet that in that particular game you were considered as cheap by most players because you wound up on either side of their fighter and it gave them no chance.

Popo: That was just an excuse to get around our pure skills!

Nana: That was just an excuse to get around our pure skills!

NB: Okay Nana! I said that was enough. Now, back to the whole cheap factor. I can see that the ability to surround your enemy would make up for your small stature. Now, why else do you think you would be good in Soul Calibur?

Popo: We have big hammers!

Nana: We have big hammers!

NB: NANA! Would you please stop repeating what Popo is saying? Anyway, we already have a person with a big hammer. And due to the fact that his hammer is bigger than yours, I'm afraid I have to reject you.

Popo: IT'S NOT SIZE THAT MATTERS! IT"S HOW YOU USE IT! *as he jumps at NB and beats him with the hammer*

Nana: IT'S NOT SIZE THAT MATTERS! IT"S HOW YOU USE IT! *as she jumps at the other side of NB and beats him with the hammer*