Topic: Flubbed Headlines

[Toruresu]

These are 100% honest-to-goodness headlines. Can you figure out what were they trying to say?


Lebanon Will Try
Bombing Suspects


Officials Warn Clams,
Oysters Can Carry Virus

Man Shoots Neighbor
with Machete


STRIPPER RESENTS
EXPOSURE


Multiple-Personality Rapist
Sentenced to Two Life Terms

Iran Claims Success in Its
Attack on Iran


RETIRED PRIEST TO
MARRY SPRINGSTEEN


Defendant's Speech Ends
in Long Sentence

Old School Pillars Are
Replaced by Alumni

19 Feet Broken in
Pole Vault

Kicking Baby Considered
to be Healthy


Henshaw Offers Rare
Opportunity to Goose Hunters

TERMINAL SMOG
NOT LETHAL


Cause of Aids Found-
Scientists

Police Kill Man
with TV Tuner


Milk Drinkers Are
Turning to Powder

Bible Church's Focus
Is the Bible

TWO CONVICTS EVADE
NOOSE, JURY HUNG


Stiff Opposition Expected to
Casketless Funeral Plan


Council to Examine
Important Problems

LITERARCY WEEK
OBSERVED


Prosecutor Releases Probe
into Undersheriff

Queen Mary Having
Bottom Scraped


LARGE CHURCH
PLANS COLLAPSE


Potential Witness to
Murder Drunk

BRITAIN INCHES GRUDGINGLY
TOWARDS METRIC SYSTEM


NJ JUDGE TO RULE
ON NUDE BEACH


Official: Only rain will cure drought
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Taken from a book I have. Planning on posting other stuff that I find funny/fun to read. So, can you guess what they are trying to say?