Author Topic: Lets play the "Explain the PS3" Game (Read 6842 times)

Shift Key · « **on:** March 23, 2007, 08:03:12 PM »

Seeing as how the PS3 has wrapped up its launch in Europe and Australia, it is interesting to see that a surprising lack of demand for the systems as well as pathetic launch events from both sides of the world.

Lets discuss what the hell happened. Did Sony not bring enough DJs to the launch night? Were the peons too ignorant to not notice a good deal when they see it? Did the French police watch 300 before they started their work patrolling the Paris PS3 launch?

If you feel that the PS3 is worth the investment currently, then jump to its defense, with guns-a-blazing. I'm sure someone here has bought a PS3, and would love to rub it in my face as being the best thing since sliced bread.

If you feel that the PS3 isn't worth it, then tell me why it was a hilarious disaster. Hell, even 1up can say nice things about the PS3. Surely I jest!

Oh yeah, your personal opinion doesn't have to match your post. Hell, your posts doesn't even have to be correct. Just argue an opinion and lets see who wins.

GoldenPhoenix · « **Reply #1 on:** March 23, 2007, 08:18:38 PM »

PS3 is the greatest because not only does it provide an all in one entertainment experience, it has Sony's top notch IPs such as Blasto (I know it will be coming soon), NBA series, Giant Crabs in Genji, and APE escape. So that is why the PS3 is the best, you can't get experiences like that on just any system and in true 1080p as well!

Shift Key · « **Reply #2 on:** March 23, 2007, 08:40:04 PM »

Quote
Originally posted by: GoldenPhoenix
APE escape

OH NO I FORGOT THIS GAME. I BOUGHT THE WRONG SYSTEM. I MUST TRADE IN ALL MY WORLDLY POSSESSIONS AND WAIT WITH BAITED BREATH.

Infernal Monkey · « **Reply #3 on:** March 23, 2007, 09:26:18 PM »

Yeah, but it's gonna sell more than PS2!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FlsO8TE-HS4

"JUST ENOUGH TO LAST US THROUGH THE WEEKEND!"

S-U-P-E-R · « **Reply #4 on:** March 23, 2007, 11:01:25 PM »

Sony is now following the Roberta Williams school of logic where only rich, highly educated people play video games, and horrible illogical puzzle ones, at that.

oohhboy · « **Reply #5 on:** March 24, 2007, 12:20:39 AM »

Tear gas from the local *COUGH* *COUGH* riots, *COUGH*. No feeling too good...

Ceric · « **Reply #6 on:** March 24, 2007, 04:16:12 AM »

BI: "What are Sony's feelings about the sluggish initial Pal numbers?"
SSM: "Yes, I think the launch numbers in the Pal regions are a little sluggish but little did everyone know that your purchase of a PS3 is tax deductible."
BI: "Really"
SSM: "That is correct. Sony has partnerred with a series of labs and universities doing research into everything from a cure for cancer to the search for extra terrestial life. As such an essential service that by your purchase of the PS3 and the computational power that you imbue to these projects make you eligible to deduct the purchase price of the PS3 from your Federal Taxes."
BI: "Who do you think will be interested in this?"
SSM: "Well, we here at Sony believe that with the versatility and tax deductibility of the PS3 it will soon find a home in the corporate sector."
BI: "How so?"
SSM: "Aren't most break rooms drab? How about those training videos? There are so many to find, the wasted space, and none of them are interactive in the least. We, here at Sony, wonder why you go through such a hassle? The new PS3 will simplify all these unconsidered logistics and contribute to a good tax deductible cause."
BI: "How will the PS3 truly address these concerns?"
SSM: "Glad you asked. Leveraging the increased resolution and capacity of Sony's Blu-ray disc standard having an overbudance of space wasting videos is a thing of the past. Not only could you opt to have Sony or a number of partners develop actual PS3 enhanced training your hundreds of hours of training videos and seminars can be moved onto just a couple Blu-Ray Discs with unbeleivable visual quality and audio clarity. Also, as a side benefit, by having such an entertaining system with the highest quality of games will allow for improved interoffice relations and moral."
BI: "So there your have it folks. The PS3 helping the community, moral, and your bottom line. As always thanks for speaking with us Sony Spin Master."
SSM: "Always a pleasure Business Interviewer."

This interview is fictitious and just for fun. Sony should take not though this reads better then most their recent PR efforts.

BlackNMild2k1 · « **Reply #7 on:** March 24, 2007, 07:01:23 AM »

Ceric, that was an excellent interview, and I would read another should Business Interviewer chat with Sony Spin Master again. Next time they should talk more about the Exclusive games for the PS3 and how Sony's implementation of motion controls in the innovative SIXAXIS controller are going to change gaming forever..

MaryJane · « **Reply #8 on:** March 24, 2007, 08:52:15 AM »

This is in the wrong thread!

This should be in the "Other Systems" thread!

How dare you poke fun at the king of everything electronic?

The PS3 makes perfect sense! It's Sony's attempt to fool you into buying their products and only their products! Had the launch of the PS3 been successful (beyond the first week or so) I gawrunteeee that we would be seeing countless Playstation branded products! A stand alone Playstation MP3 player the iPS! PlaystationTV! Even a sitcom based solely on the PS3! Here's the script:

PS3a: So what you doin today?
PS3b: I think I'm gonna collect dust!
PS3a: Wow I didn't know our Cell Processors were powerful even to collect dust!!
PS3b: Oh yeah it is baby! Coupled with our insane price tag and lack of exclusive titles I gawrunteeee that we'll be able to collect more dust than the VirtuaBoy!
PS3a: No Way! We can beat Nintendo again? You mean it wasn't a 10 year stint that was more because of Nintendo's mistakes than our good decisions?
PS3b: You bet! We made good decision in throwing money in people's faces, it worked for the PSP also, so it will work forever!!
PS3a: Are our processors powerful enough to take up shelf space too??
PS3b: You bet! I even heard from a trusted SCEA rep that it will take us into space one day!
PS3a: We are just too good to be true!! High Five!!
PS3b: Hang the servers are down, my Home is crashing! AHHHH I can't send a virtual high five I'm going dow....
PS3a: ::Takes off mask::
WiiGod: One more down, only a few more to go!

That's gold Jerry! GOLD!

Smash_Brother · « **Reply #9 on:** March 24, 2007, 10:10:54 AM »

It would be easier to start a cult under the idea that God himself has returned to the world in the form of my nose and that our lord and savior is in fact riding around on my face than it would be to make a compelling argument in favor of the PS3.

On a completely unrelated subject, is anyone here easily fleeced?

NWR_pap64 · « **Reply #10 on:** March 24, 2007, 02:32:12 PM »

Quote
Originally posted by: Smash_Brother
It would be easier to start a cult under the idea that God himself has returned to the world in the form of my nose and that our lord and savior is in fact riding around on my face than it would be to make a compelling argument in favor of the PS3.

I'm sorry, I just HAD to do it!

*NOTE: Forgive the quality of the last pic

And what does "easily fleeced" mean?

Ceric · « **Reply #11 on:** March 24, 2007, 02:38:44 PM »

PA3c: Check out what I can do with my Dust. *revs processor and flames shoot out.*

Also I enjoyed doing that mock interview. I always enjoy those and the spinning.

GoldenPhoenix · « **Reply #12 on:** March 24, 2007, 02:43:03 PM »

I think we are all forgetting one aspect of the PS3 that makes it the kind of consoles, if you can actually find a game you can ejoy playing you will also be able to heat your house at the same time! Can't say that about the Wii!

Ceric · « **Reply #13 on:** March 24, 2007, 03:07:15 PM »

Pap that picture is blasphemy to his noodleness.

Smash_Brother · « **Reply #14 on:** March 25, 2007, 07:14:30 AM »

Quote
Originally posted by: GoldenPhoenix Can't say that about the Wii!

Actually, Wiis become very warm in standalone mode.

ViewtifulJoe · « **Reply #15 on:** March 25, 2007, 04:36:43 PM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkCbWDeapAo&mode=related&search=

King of Twitch · « **Reply #16 on:** March 25, 2007, 06:53:58 PM »

Quote
Originally posted by: Smash_Brother
Quote
Originally posted by: GoldenPhoenix Can't say that about the Wii!

Actually, Wiis become very warm in standalone mode.

My wii is always in standalone mode : (

Smash_Brother · « **Reply #17 on:** March 26, 2007, 04:04:32 AM »

You mean you have no other devices in your entertainment center, not even a TV?

I mean "standby" mode, sorry, but it does get pretty warm even then.

Quote
And what does "easily fleeced" mean?

It means you're easily taken in by something intended to trick you. Fleeced.

NWR_pap64 · « **Reply #18 on:** March 26, 2007, 06:34:24 AM »

In other words, easily scammed, right?

Kairon · « **Reply #19 on:** March 26, 2007, 07:02:37 AM »

The PS3 was made with ONE reason in mind and ONE reason only.

CURING CANCER.

~Carmine "Cai" M. Red
Kairon@aol.com

couchmonkey · « **Reply #20 on:** March 26, 2007, 07:38:49 AM »

My aunt asked me why it was so expensive (methinks her boyfriend wanted one) and I decided to honestly try and justify it to her. The eyes of every single person in the room glazed over as I explained Blu-ray and HDTV.

The reason to buy a PS3 is that Blu-ray is outselling HD-DVD. Don't you want to be on the winning team???

Shift Key · « **Reply #21 on:** March 26, 2007, 07:18:25 PM »

Quote
Originally posted by: couchmonkey
The reason to buy a PS3 is that Blu-ray is outselling HD-DVD. Don't you want to be on the winning team???

F'n lol. Way to call the race over before it even gets competitive. That's like making a national appearance to declare the war won, and then being stuck fighting the same war four years later.

BlackNMild2k1 · « **Reply #22 on:** March 26, 2007, 08:23:42 PM »

What is there to "explain" about the PS3 though?

Its a Blu Ray player - the next generation of DVD
Its a Playstation 3 - the only thing thats better than a Playstation 2
and it can all be had for $299 canadian if you don't mind trading in some of your outdated games and consoles.

No seriously, for our Canadians, you really can have your own PS3 for only *Two-Hundred-Ninety-Nine-Canadian-Dollars*!!!.
And here's how:

Quote
For anyone curious EB's deals are as follows- trade 10 games with a value of 8 dollars or more and you get 260 dollars off the price of a PS3 so it becomes 399.99 can, the second deal and the one that's been around longer is trade an older console for a hundred bucks off , this adds up to a total price of 299.99 for a 60 gig ps3 and that's canadian dollars. You aren't going to find one for less then that if you have the means to complete the full deal. The system trade in goes as follows- xbox is worth 100 bucks by itself, ps2 has to be slimline model and needs ANY 3 games, gamecube needs ANY 4 games. The games don't have to be for the traded console either.

That is all the convincing you should need. Gather your monies and and let Sony welcome you to the Next Generation - "This Is Living"

King of Twitch · « **Reply #23 on:** March 26, 2007, 08:30:26 PM »

Has anyone explained the creepy baby in that early PS3 commercial?

wandering · « **Reply #24 on:** March 26, 2007, 09:01:36 PM »

Quote
Originally posted by: MJRx9000
Has anyone explained the creepy baby in that early PS3 commercial?

Thanks to the incredible power of the cell processor, the PlayStation 3 is a sentient, telepathic, and telekinetic creature. For good or ill, one PS3 used his power to bring a baby doll to life. He then showed this baby far-off worlds, and the baby was moved to tears.

"Do not cry," the PS3 thought, as he pushed the baby's tears back into her head. "My magnificence should bring you only happiness!"

And then the PS3 lifted itself up into the air, and the baby saw that the being before him was indeed magnificent, and beautiful. So beautiful that she wanted to cry again...but didn't, because it hurt when her "mama" forced her tears back inside her head.

News:

Author Topic: Lets play the "Explain the PS3" Game (Read 6842 times)