Author Topic: REVIEWS: Barnyard  (Read 1768 times)

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Offline S-U-P-E-R

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REVIEWS: Barnyard
« on: October 14, 2006, 07:16:31 PM »
My cow is named "Cowsauce".

Nickelodeon's Barynard is a single player adventure game, but with a large   portion of mini-games. As an amazing bipedal cow, the player embarks on a   quest to win the recognition of the other farm critters and become the   "ultimate party animal."    


Starting as the new cow in town, players can select the gender,   appearance (from about five cow breeds) and name of the character.  Now   placed in the barnyard, the cow is free to talk to other characters,   smash crates, pick flowers, churn butter from milk directly from its own udders, and various other marginally productive shenanigans.   To make real progress, missions from other characters must be accepted.   These, much like me and my cohort's endless World of Warcraft jokes, start   at characters with big yellow exclamation marks over their heads. They're   easy to find, so getting stuck not knowing what to do in Barnyard is nearly   impossible, and after getting the epic mount bicycle, it's even more   convenient to go from mission to mission. Some of the missions are just   fetch quests, but many are actually fairly fun mini-games.  After completing   these, they are available for play from the main menu, and the game tracks   and saves high scores as well. The downside to mini-games is that they're   only single-player, even though many of them seem perfectly ideal for   multiplayer. Go figure.    


The best mini-games seem to be inspired by Gary Larson's The Far Side. Teasing the mailman   by dancing around behind his back and reverting to all fours when he turns around is pretty funny, and taking the farmer's truck for a street race   is fun stuff, too. My personal favorite is the whack-a-mole mini-game, pretty   much only because it has the best hoe-down banjo dance music in a game since   Blast Corps. It's true, I replayed it numerous times just to listen to that   music again and again. I am also a complete psychopath.    


There's another side goal, too. Coins earned or collected can be spent at   the gopher's shop. By purchasing furniture, games like pool and darts, etc.,   these items can be added to the happenin' barn/night club. How very Animal   Crossing!    


In the category of things that suck about this game, the graphics are fairly   choppy, and the load times are strangely long and also cause a lot of noise   from the disc reader for some reason. The game also froze on these loading   screens a few times, and without auto-saves, that's definitely an extra   helping of suck. Also, like every other reviewer on the internet, I'm pretty   much obligated to tell you that the male cows have udders, and a portion of   the game is spent blasting other characters with them like some   sort of god-awful bukkake party.    


Barnyard isn't really the kind of game I could see readers of this site   buying, but some fun can be gleaned from it. It would be an all right buy for   younger kids if they really, really like Barnyard or 3D adventure games that   aren't too complicated.

Pros:
       

  • Great soundtrack  
  • Create your own main character  
  • Plenty of mini-games

           Cons:
           
  • All of those mini-games are only single-player  
  • Long load times and an occasional freeze while loading  
  • That's not how cow physiology works

                   Graphics:  6.5
           Nothing fancy and not 60 frames per second, but its clear and colorful.   Being able to select an appearance for your own character is a dandy   addition. However, it seems like the loading time for new scenes is way too   long for these relatively simple graphics.

                   Sound:  8.5
           Some good voiceovers and great music, especially if you are hosting a hillbilly dance party.

                   Control:  7.5
           Standard 3D platformer/adventure game controls. Controls are explained for   each mini-game, although not always clearly.

                          Gameplay:  6.5
           Some simple fetch quests and item collecting, but some fun and silly   mini-games. Ideally, some of the mini-games would be multiplayer, but it's a   one-player only game.

     


           Lastability:  7.0
           It doesn't seem to take too long to unlock all the mini-games. A couple   multi-hour sessions will do it. They can be accessed from the   menu without playing the main game, save high scores, and some are quite fun

     


           Final:  7.0
           It's definitely a kid's game, and one could definitely do a lot worse in   that category. Some of the mini-games are really cool, and most are at least   decently fun. The long load times and occasional freezeup are a real downer,   though. Not a bad purchase for a kid who likes Nickelodeon's Barnyard,   especially if it can be found for twenty bucks or so.      


  • Offline Infernal Monkey

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    RE: REVIEWS: Barnyard
    « Reply #1 on: October 15, 2006, 03:42:33 AM »
    Quote

    and a portion of the game is spent blasting other characters with them like some sort of god-awful bukkake party.


    Sold!