So I saw Star Fox Assault marked down below $15, and, remembering that I bought Geist at the same price and enjoyed it in spite of so-so reviews, decided to buy it. I think it would have been a better deal to give a random stranger fifteen bucks to kick me in the balls. This is the second fastest I have ever come to hate a game. That I actualy hate it is weird enough, since usually I would describe a game I really don't like as merely uninteresting or simply not fun. This game isn't simply not fun, though. It's belligerently not fun. It actively seeks out and destroys fun. Other games are lessened by existing in the same universe as this game.
To reiterate, if someone were to ask me whether Star Fox Assault is better than a swift kick to the groin, I'd say no.