Topic: My new business...

[UncleBob]

I'm going to start a business.

The most important rule of business is - location, location, location!

So, in true Zelda form, I'm going to find some far away, remote location for my business.  Perhaps you'll need to randomly bomb some stuff to find my business.  Maybe you'll need some crazy, off the wall device that there's only one of in the entire world and it's hidden deep in some mysterious chamber, protected by crap-tons of angry, crazed monsters who only hang around in hopes of killing stupid people who wonder by.  Either way, finding my business won't be easy.

What kind of business will I have?  I'm thinking some kind of carnival-themed game.  Those seem popular.  However, I want to make mine special - so in order to play it, you're going to need that same crazy-one-of-a-kind device that I mentioned above just to play.

Obviously, no one will want to play my game unless there's prizes!  So, I'll find one really rare thing to give out as a prize.  Since no one will find my business, and, on the off chance they actually do find it, they probably won't be able to play my game - because, really, who's going to go into the crazy dungeon to get the crazy device just to play my game (even though it'll be awesome) - I'll only need one of these.  Now, if the stars should align just right and someone does win the good prize, then I guess I'll just give out money as the prize.  Obviously, more than it takes to play.

Nothing could go wrong with giving away money - because if someone actually happens to find my business *and* they have the crazy-device needed to play *and* they are able to win, not just once, but multiple times...

....


...they've *got* to have something better to do than just play my game over and over again, slowly taking all my money... right?  Like saving the love of their life or something?  Surely they wouldn't just hang around at my game, playing it repeatedly until I'm broke and I have to survive by eating bugs and making a living by carrying no less than five pumpkins at a time to the shed for some sadist woman who doesn't realize I could carry one or two, get there faster and not drop them....

Yeah, it's a good business plan.  Y'all should stop by, if you happen to find where I've set up.

[S-U-P-E-R]

Sounds better than that last business where all the customer base did was shoplift shovels

[UncleBob]

+10 for that reply.

[S-U-P-E-R]

I tried calling the listed number but I kept getting some asshole named Bucket Mouse

[Crimm]

I ran a business taking people's pets for walks. All they ever did was get kidnapped and attack every living thing we encountered.